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This one involves Dr. Thomas Imoh (another Doctor and government employee)  The cheap fuckwad only offers me 20% so we got off on  the wrong foot right away I guess.

 

On February 7, 2004 you wrote:

 

I am a member of my country’s  contract award and review committee. A contract already  executed by a foreign firm in 1999 was over invoiced by us to the tune of $15,600,000.00  (Fifteen Million six hundred thousand United States Dollar).

 

 In the light of the above, I ask for your assistance in the transfer of this excess  floating funds in a suspense account into a foreign account you may wish to provide, for  it was a  Category "A" contract (strictly reserved for foreign contractors), this informed  my request, more so as I am forbidden by my government to run a foreign account.

 

After the successful transfer, 20% of the sum will go to you for your assistance. 5% of to  compensate for any incidental expenses incurred by both parties.

 

More details will be given in the course of correspondence.

 

Your confidentiality is highly required since I am still in active public service.

 

Thank you for your cooperation.

 

Regards,

Dr. Thomas Imoh.

 

 

Dear Dr. Thomas,

I am interested in your offer. I wold like to hear more about it. My name is Ms. Letting Pigzfuqeme. I am a recently widowed lady of mid-age and could easily assist you since I have little to do on my days.

 

My late husband gave up the ghost on Christmas Eve while making eggnog for our guests. It was a sad day to be sure.

 

Dr. Thomas, I am hesistant to ask you a question now  so I will hold it for your kind response which I greatly look forward to.

 

By the grace of the lord Jesus Christ, be blessed and safe Dr. Thomas

 

Ms. Letting Pigzfuqueme

 

On Sun, 08 Feb 2004 dr_thomas wrote :

 

Dear Ms. Letting Pigzfuqueme,

 

Thanks for your mail. I appreciate your finding time to respond to my proposal.

 

I'm so sorry to hear about your bereavement, (may his soul rest on the bosom of the lord) it must be very a difficult time for you now, but I know that God will give you the strenght pull through.

 

As regard to what you can do to help, you would need to incorporate a company here in Nigeria (with you being the President and CEO of the company). Through the services of a Lawyer who would handle the incorporation, it should be back-dated to a period prior to 1999. The same company shall be registered as a Grade "A" Contractor under the Federal Ministry of Works and Housing. This will be back-dated also. The company will have a local address here in Lagos, while its head office will be in your country, at your present office or home address.

 

Once the above are accomplished, you would be required to apply for the release of the $15.6 Million into your nominated bank account. I will provide you with the necessary details of the contract and help to ensure that your application for payment is treated with dispatch by our committee and the relevant government departments responsible for approving the release of such contractual payments. This will be strictly in accordance with the regulations of the Federal Ministry of Finance and the fiscal statutes of the federation. As soon as the money is transferred to your account, I will join you in your

country to sort things out in accordance with our agreement.

 

Please, note that during the processing period, you must not let anyone to know anything about my involvement in this.

 

Even the lawyer that will represent you in the filing process must not know that I am in league with you. It will be better for me to remain at the background, so that I can influence the smooth scaling of the file, without being suspected of having vested interest in it.

 

To enable me start the paper work, please forward the following information to me.

 

1. Your full names

2. Your full address

3. Your telephone number

4. Your fax number

5. Any valid means of Identification

 

Note:

1. That your nominated bank account can be a very new one or an already existing one. The choice is yours, provided it is

 

an account that will be easily accessible to you when the money is eventually remitted into it;

 

2.I will be sending you an agreement in due cause drawn up by my Attorney which will be binding to both parties if we decide to go through with this deal.

If you have any questions please do not hesitate to ask; I look forward to hearing from you.

 

My warm regards,

Dr. Thomas Imoh.

 

My Dear Dr. Thomas

 

I was so happy to find your email today. Yes it is quite lonely these days but I do find consolation with the lord.

 

Your proposal was fully read and I understand what you plan. It seems to be quite involved and perhaps a bit illegal. Not to be worried though,  I can help with this I am sure. Before my beloved husband passed away, he and I were in the black market business of dealing in alligator penis and selling them to the Chinese as aphrodisiacs  together and I learned many things. In fact I still have some here in the basement. Dr. Thomas, would you care for a little gator dick?

 

I am sure that you too are schooled in business and understand the need for confidentiality and caution.

 

I am a very cautious lady as you wil soon see. My husband left me quite wealthy from stocks, bonds, other land investments, our business and a considerable collection of gold coins. His collection was well known in certain circles for its value.

 

I need to be cautious as you can see.

 

In order to seal our trust, so that I can be assured this is without risk, I need to ask you to perform one minor and simple thing for me.

 

What I would like you to do, is have a photograph shot taken of you, holding a cardboard placard with the words:

 

I'm ok with Letting Pigzfugueme

 

This way I know you are ok with me and we can then proceed. By sending me this photograph, I know I am dealing with a real person.

 

This will seal our trust forever Thomas. I do so want to try and be successful in this endeavor. I will pray to our lord Jesus Christ for his loving light to guide you do this and bless us both.

 

I await your photograph, and upon its receipt will forward you my passport and the other information you requested.

 

Be blessed my Dear Thomas,

Ms. Letting Pigzfuqueme

 

 

Dear Letting Pigsfuqyou,

 

Thanks for your mail.

 

I have nothing against sending my photo to you, but one thing that bothers me is the fact that you have not let me know your actual names. 

 

I have my doubts about Letting Pigsfuqueme being your real names, because what it means when properly thought out is derogatory. So, taking a photo of myself holding a cardboard paper with an inscription "I'm ok with Letting Pigzfugueme" is completely unacceptable.

 

I resent this, and I believe you are taking this whole thing as a huge joke. If you must know, I am a very serious person. I am also very much educated, that reading between the lines is an easy thing for me.

 

You have to prove yourself, if you want any business relationship with me.

 

My regards,

Dr. Imoh Thomas.

 

 

Dear Sir..

 

How rude of you to type my name improperly so as to suggest something profane: Letting Pigsfuqyou!!!

 

I am outraged that you would do such a thing. My name (married name) is PIGZFUQUEME which is Polish if you must know. My first name, LETTING is really a form of the Polish name LETTINYA.

 

Where in the world do you come off saying the mean spirited things you did. Either apologize or do not EVER email me again or I shall suggest your name to the authorities!!!

 

Ms. Letting Pigzfuqueme

 

 

 

Dear Ms Letting,

 

I will apologise and I do apologise if I misconstrued you, but I must tell you that I suspected some ridicule, which made me write you as blunt as I could on the issue. If I am wrong, I do apologise.

 

It is up to you to decided whether or not you wish to partner me on my proposal. I am a very serious person and I always appreciate working or relating with people of like minds and intellectual background.

 

I will wait to hear from you and would appreciate if you would let me know you more.

 

My regards,

Thomas.

 

Dear Thomas,

 

It takes a true man to apologize when he has done an injustice and I do believe that you are in fact sorry so your gracious apology and well intentions are accepted.

 

Let us start like new.

 

I am waiting for your photgraph as I requested.

 

Know that you are blessed.

 

Ms. Letting Pigzfuqueme

 

 

Dear Letting,

 

Thanks your mail.

 

I hereby attach a picture of me and my grandson in Paris, France - January 2003.

 

I hope this satisfies your need. Any other Agreement requirements shall be in the form of a Contract.

 

I will like to get a picture of you in return, as well as all the other information necessary for the consummation of this transaction.

 

My regards,

Thomas.

 

 

 

Dear Dr. Thomas

 

Nice picture but that is NOT what I had asked for. Anyone can send any picture and say it is them.

 

If you take the photograph shot I asked for, then I know it is you. If you will not then I fear you are hiding something.

 

Our relationship is not a good one and you need to fix it quickly by doing what I asked or I am afraid we can not be partners in this transaction because you are not serious.

 

Be a dear and do as I ask.

 

Ms. Letting Pigzfuqeme

 

No emails for a week so I fire this one off.

Dear Thomas,

 

Is this the end of our business transaction. Please advise since I have already spoken with Mrs. Abacha of your country and she sounds quite nice and I want to assist her but I don’t not want to spread myself too thin so I explained that to her. Let me know.

 

Ms. Letting

 

 

Dear Ms. Letting,

 

I wrote you and even sent my picture and that of my grand son.

Since then you did not write until this last mail wherein you

asked if the transaction was still on.

 

Well, it is still on and very much okay. I have done what I could

do regarding photographs, it is now left to you to send your

own photograph to me, as well as all the necessary information

I need to be able start the process of getting the funds released

through the help of a lawyer.

 

If you are positively disposed to it, please act, as time is of the

essence.

 

My regards,

THOMAS.

 

 

Dear Thomas,

 

We are done since you NEVER sent me what I asked for, you only sent me what you wanted me to see.

 

Your grandson looks like a fuckwitted hyenea. You look like a dick sucking nigerian homo. I'll bet you suck dicks in the dirty bathrooms of the internet cafes that you crawl around in. I could have fucked you around for another few weeks but decided that you are no fun. You are mugu.

 

Don't you feel like an asshole? You look like an ASSHOLE. All brown and puckered up.  The whole world laughs at you trying to scrape up a few pennies. What a joke you are.

 

You are a fucking loser.

 

Ms. Letting.

 

Dear Pig.,

 

From the onset, you oght to have known that you were dealing with someone more intelligent than you ever thought.

 

I hold a Doctorate degree in Policy and Strategic Studies and taught in the University for 10 years before joining government.

 

I knew you were just kidding and being mischievious right from the very first mail you wrote. My reaction ought to have made you know that I am not a man of little kowledge or intelligence.

 

As for the abuses you rained in your last mail. My reaction is simple. I will not rain abuses on you. If I wanted to, I have the liberty to do so, but only people of little minds and inadequate education would insult strangers - and an INNOCENT INFANT. What I can simply deduce from your situation is that you are just a kid. Even if you are an adult in age and body, your thinking and reasoning faculties are still at the embryonic stage. You need to grow up.

 

It is only a full grown up that can have a discerning mind to be able to decipher real from fake. All Lizards walk prostrate, making it difficult to identify the one that suffers from a chronic stomach ache.

 

I wish you well.

 

THOMAS.

 

“All Lizards walk prostrate…” WTF does that mean???

 

My Dear Thomas,

 

I'm wondering how much you paid some other shit-wizard  to write your last squirt. Clearly you have never been able to slap two words together that made any sense at all so this must have cost you bud. Good to see ya spending your money the right way.

 

Despite the fact that you are not in the photograph you sent me, nor is your grandson, you are no better than a common thief.  You are a criminal. What you are doing is the same as sneaking into someones house and robbing them.

 

You are a liar and a miscreant. A Mutant Mugu. No words can ever change that. You belong behind bars.

 

You no more work for the government than I work for your government. You are a liar, a thief, a criminal, and a fool. The whole world laughs at you.

 

Underducated as you are, you probably drive a cab in that hell hole of a country and steal the luggage from your passengers or service gay travelers visiting your squalid pustule of a city.

 

Its truly a shame that I am not closer to you. I would love to meet you in person and kick your scheming mugu ass from one side of your mudhut to the other. Sadly though, that cannot be since you hide behind a computer to do your crime.

 

Sad little foolish man. My only hope for you is that you die of AIDS, screaming in pain, until the blood pouring out of your throat silences you for eternity.

 

Your Pal for Life

Ms. Letting

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