BACK TO HOMEPAGE

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: The fans have spoken. The world's greatest rappers are back.

ORIGINAL MESSAGE

From: "Dr. Kingsley Ndashi" kingsleyndashi11@netscape.net
Sent: Tuesday, February 17, 2004 1:56 PM
Subject: very important you know this

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

I am Dr Kingsley .A.Ndashi .We need your help to recieve the the sum of Sixteen million Two hundred and Fifty thousand Dollars (US$16.25M) which represent an over invoiced contract that is floating in our system, Department of Minerals & Energy, South Africa. Please contact me For more information on the email address below, the deal is 100% hitch free.I can only transfer the money with the help of a foreign partner hence my contacting you, I look forward to hearing from you.please do respond via my confidential

email :kingsleyndashi10@netscape.net

Regards,

Dr Kingsley .A.Ndashi

From Black Mic to Kingsley, Feb. 22

Dr. Kingsley,

My name is Michael Banks and I just read your email. Your proposal is straight up ill yo. It comes at an interesting time as me and my business partner, just completed our second album. We were just talking about getting into some international business deals. So we would be interested to learn more.

Peace,

Michael Banks

PS - How did you find my email? Are you a fan of our music?

From Kingsley to Black Mic, Feb. 23

Dear Mr Banks,

How are you today,i hope you had agreat weekend.I still have not received any response from you with regards to the foregoing,I sure hope you are okay and all is well.

Do get back to me as soon as you can so that i can know your true position on this transaction of mutual benefits to us.

Have a nice day.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi.

From Black Mic to Kingsley, Feb. 23

Dear Dr. Kingsley,

I'm good. I hope you are good too. Straight up. I'm writing you back regarding the Sixteen million Two hundred and Fifty thousand Dollars (US$16.25M) you were talking about. My business partner, Benjamin Horowicz, and I are very interested. How do we get this started?

Let me tell you a little about us. We are a up and coming rap group called Foe-on Nine. Our first album, "Foe-on Nine all up in this mutha fucka!" went certified tin. I'm sure you heard our song "Don't Shoot til You See the Whites." Anyway, I rap under the name "Black Mic aka Bitch Honkey Killa" and Ben is "B-Smooth." We just completed our second album entitled "Don't You Dare Put Mayo On My Sandwich, beyotch!." We live in Compton, California. If you are honest with us, we can make a lot of money together. We are all about the benjamins if you know what I'm saying.

Are you a fan of our music? I still am not sure how you got my email address.

Thanks,

Michael Banks

From Kingsley to Black Mic, Feb. 23

Dear Micheal Banks,

Thank you so much for your understanding and commitments to the the success of this transaction,let me assure you that this is clean and as long as you follow my directives realease of the funds and onward transfer of the funds 16.25million American dollars to your nominated account will be effected..

As i mentioned previously i am a very senior director in the ministry of solid minerals in my country South Africa,i have put in a better part of my life to civil service and i would not want to jeopardise my hard earned career so my role will be very silent,you as partner will be vested with the full responsibility to seeing to the realease and onward transfer of the money to your nominated bank account by the security firm holding it in Amsterdam.

To proceed,I will require that you immidiately send to me your full details as it appears on your passport so that i can forward to my attorney here for him to prepare all the necessary legal documentations and relevant documents in your favour as beneficiary and receiver of the funds.Once all the necessary paper works have been completed the Firm in amsterdam will be officially notified to that effect.I will then send to you the legal document,the power of attorney which transfers ownership of the funds to you and the letter of agreement binding us as partners for you to carefully study,sign and send back to me.

Dear Partner,it is important that the paper works are done as soon as possible so that i can forward to you the contact details of the firm forr you to contact them and discuss modalities of transfer to your account.

I would also like to know if you can handle the funds when they get to your account as i would not be able to to come immidiately to meet with you because of my very tight schedule,i will only be able to come and collect my share from you when on vacation sometime in the third quarter of the year.So i have to be sure of your capability to handle and manage the funds pending when i join you in your country during my vacation.

With reagrds to being your fan,i am your fan now and i can assure you that at the end of this transaction with your share of 20% you will have enough funds to lunch your music career in a very big form.

I want you to also know that utmost confidentiality is required in this transaction.

I await your prompt response sending details of your passport.

Have a nice day.

Regards

Dr Kingsley Ndashi.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: He's a fan of our music now! YES

From Kingsley to Black Mic, Feb. 25

Dear Micheal,

How are you today and how is the group doing.I still await receipt of the details i have asked for.

Time is of the esscence and there is no room for any delays okay.

I awit your response.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From Kingsley to Black Mic, Feb. 26

Dear Micheal,

How are you today?I still await your response.

Regards

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From Black Mic to Kingsley, Feb. 28

Dear Dr. Kingsley,

Please, call me by my rap name, Black Mic. I rarely use my birth given name. Anyway, sorry for the delay in writing. Me and B-Smooth was rockin the mic at a couple of shows this week. We did a concert with my nigga, Mr. Jiggy Fly (Always Use Good Manners When You Eatin a Sloppy Joe). It was crazy. Got to make that money brother, you feel me?

I'm in town the next couple of days working on our new song, "I didn't call you a bitch, I called you a BE-I-YOTHC!" It's going to be crazy.. Lets get down to business. Why don't you tell me what we need to do to get this thing crackalackin.

Well, it's almost noon. Talk to you soon,

Black Mic

PS - I just realized that last line rhymed. I got this rap game running through my veins. That's so insane.

PSS - I just did it again. This is got to stop or it will be my next single.

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, Feb. 28

Dr Kingsley A. Ndashi,

Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo Yo... Yo Yo...

Yo.

Whatup, yo? My boy Michael Banks (Black Mic) told me to hit yo ass up with mail, playa. He said something about some kind of deal brewing and how you might need to talk dead presidents with me.

Damn, I am sorry, yo. My name is Benjamin Horowicz and I am in the rap group Foe-on Nine with Black Mic. He told me that you were our fan, nizzle. That makes me feel in-ternal! Mike said that you were from South America or some jazz like that. That is so cool that you have our music there! Anyway, yo, I am the business one of the group. What is your offer and how do we begin, yo? We got money to burn, baby...

Mike kinda gets carried away and needs to let me handle these things. For instance, we played a big show the otha day with a nigga named Mr. Jiggy Fly. Well, we were about to break out one of our new rhymes, Hum the Star Sangled Banner Beyotch, and Black Mic pulls this liitle wigga from the crowd and beats his ass with his microphone. Damn, dawg... That is just Mic for you, he is one crazy ass ghetto gangsta, I am the sophisticated latino nizzle...

I know you get me, right?

Be in touch, dawg, and please call me by my stage name, B-Smooth.

Out...

B-Smooth

P.S. Seeing as you are a fan would you like it if we sent you some lyrics we are working on? For cross cultural purposes? We would love your input.

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 2

Dr. Ndashi,

I am sorry that you have not written back. Michael Banks (Black Mic) says I was probably a little too gangsta with you. I am sorry. I just get all excited. He also told me not to use so much raw language.

Please e-mail me back, dawg...

Benjamin Horowicz
(B-Smooth)

From Kingsley to B-Smooth, March 2

Dear Benjamin Horowicz,

I ask that you guys take this very seriously,and i have explained clearly the details over and over again and i have also asked that you give me a tel number with which to call you and explain to you.This is not a childs play okay.this is serious bussiness that will be very beneficial to you guys.

Thank you so much for your understanding and commitments to the the success of this transaction,let me assure you that this is clean and as long as you follow my directives realease of the funds and onward transfer of the funds 16.25million American dollars to your nominated account will be effected..

As i mentioned previously i am a very senior director in the ministry of solid minerals in my country South Africa,i have put in a better part of my life to civil service and i would not want to jeopardise my hard earned career so my role will be very silent,you as partner will be vested with the full responsibility to seeing to the realease and onward transfer of the money to your nominated bank account by the security firm holding it in Amsterdam.

To proceed,I will require that you immidiately send to me your full details as it appears on your passport so that i can forward to my attorney here for him to prepare all the necessary legal documentations and relevant documents in your favour as beneficiary and receiver of the funds.Once all the necessary paper works have been completed the Firm in amsterdam will be officially notified to that effect.I will then send to you the legal document,the power of attorney which transfers ownership of the funds to you and the letter of agreement binding us as partners for you to carefully study,sign and send back to me.

Dear Partner,it is important that the paper works are done as soon as possible so that i can forward to you the contact details of the firm forr you to contact them and discuss modalities of transfer to your account.

I would also like to know if you can handle the funds when they get to your account as i would not be able to to come immidiately to meet with you because of my very tight schedule,i will only be able to come and collect my share from you when on vacation sometime in the third quarter of the year.So i have to be sure of your capability to handle and manage the funds pending when i join you in your country during my vacation.

With reagrds to being your fan,i am your fan now and i can assure you that at the end of this transaction with your share of 20% you will have enough funds to lunch your music career in a very big form.

I want you to also know that utmost confidentiality is required in this transaction.

I await your prompt response sending details of your passport.

Have a nice day.

Regards

Dr Kingsley Ndashi.

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 2

Dear Micheal Banks(Black Mic),

Thanks Thanks for your mail.It gives me great pleasure that you and your mates are doing good in your career.By the end of this transaction,i assure you hat i will give you all the support you require in your chosen career.i refer you to my previous mail below for the way forward and do provide me with a tel number with which to call you so that we can discuss.

Please read carefully and get back to me with the details i have asked so that all the approraite documents can be prepared.

I also want to thank you for your understanding and commitments to the the success of this transaction,let me assure you that this is clean and as long as you follow my directives realease of the funds and onward transfer of the funds 16.25million American dollars to your nominated account will be effected..

As i mentioned previously i am a very senior director in the ministry of solid minerals in my country South Africa,i have put in a better part of my life to civil service and i would not want to jeopardise my hard earned career so my role will be very silent,you as partner will be vested with the full responsibility to seeing to the realease and onward transfer of the money to your nominated bank account by the security firm holding it in Amsterdam.

To proceed,I will require that you immidiately send to me your full details as it appears on your passport so that i can forward to my attorney here for him to prepare all the necessary legal documentations and relevant documents in your favour as beneficiary and receiver of the funds.Once all the necessary paper works have been completed the Firm in amsterdam will be officially notified to that effect.I will then send to you the legal document,the power of attorney which transfers ownership of the funds to you and the letter of agreement binding us as partners for you to carefully study,sign and send back to me.

Dear Partner,it is important that the paper works are done as soon as possible so that i can forward to you the contact details of the firm for you to contact them and discuss modalities of transfer to your account.

I would also like to know if you can handle the funds when they get to your account as i would not be able to to come immidiately to meet with you because of my very tight schedule,i will only be able to come and collect my share from you when on vacation sometime in the third quarter of the year.So i have to be sure of your capability to handle and manage the funds pending when i join you in your country during my vacation.

With reagrds to being your fan,i am your fan now and i can assure you that at the end of this transaction with your share of 20% you will have enough funds to lunch your music career in a very big form.

I want you to also know that utmost confidentiality is required in this transaction.

I await your prompt response sending details of your passport.

Have a nice day.

Regards

Dr Kingsley Ndashi.

From Black Mic to Kingsley, March 2

Dear Dr. Kingsley,

It's Black Mic. I got your email. I'm in an Internet Cafe right now because I am on the road. Email is the best way to get at me as I am not in the hood to answer my phone. Hell yeah I can get you my passport info. Here it is:

Name: Michael Salomon Banks
Passport Number: 025145658
Date of Birth: 04/17/72
Sex: M
Place of Birth: Philadelphia, PA
Passport Agency: Compton, CA

Let me know if you need any other info. Also, I told B-Smooth to email you again to introduce himself. He sometimes writes too much gangsta and white people like yourself have trouble understanding him. Our lawyer, accountant, and manager always have trouble understanding him. He's very East Coast too. But you can trust him.

Talk to you soon,
Black Mic

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 3

Dear Micheal Banks(Black Mic)

Thank you very much for your prompt response and i got B-smooth's mail and i sent him the previous mail i sent to him.i must say that i am really impressed with your level of commitment to this transaction.I can also see that you are very serious minded lads as you take your career very seriously and i must say the sky is your limit and i am willing to give you all the support you need and also invest a sizeable amount into your music because it is all over the news that the entertainment business is fast growing and alot of artist have made so much living luxirious life styles.I believe with proper investment you guys can turn out to be a money spinner for me in the near future and i am committed to seing that you guys hit it big.

Now to the transaction,I want you to know that this is serious business and should be treated as such.I have received your details and i will forward to my attorney immidiately so tat all necessary legal documations and documents will be prepared in your favour as the beneficiary/receiver of the funds and when they are ready they will be forwrded to the company holding the funds for their official notification and approval.I will then give the contact details of the company so that you can immidiately contact them and forward to them the bank account details you wish the funds be transfered to in your country.

I will also forward to you and agreement letter signed by me ,for you to study and sign the column reserved for and send back to me.

I will also want to inform you that you will be required to pay certain charges to the company for administrative and handling charges,but i do not know exactly how much but,it is minimal when you contact the company they will duely notify you and you let me know okay.I also want to ask, what preparations are you making to receive the funds.Do you have a bank account in place to receive the funds (US$16.25m),this is very important to me.

I wish you all the best and i do not go back on my words after the successful execution of this transaction and the funds transfered to your nominated account,i will invest a sizeable amount of my sahere in your career .

I await your response and all necessary documents will be prepared in your favour as beneficiary and receiver of the funds.

Regards

Dr Kingsley Ndashi.

From Black Mic to Kingsley, March 3

Dear Dr. Kinglsey,

Yes, Yes, Yes! You know exactly how it is. For a white guy, you understand the street. We are going to make a lot of money if we keep our minds on our money and our money on our minds. As far as me and B-Smooth, our commitment is 110%. You might ask, "where did that extra 10% come from?" It's like when you go to one of our concerts and we jump into the song "Puttin in 110% Beyoooootch!". You have to come to America and go out with us. Do you like fine ladies, Kris, Dom P, cars with fly rims, and big platinum chains? If so, you will love this music industry stuff. We already make a ton of money. Now we are going to make more.

Alright, I'll be on the look out for your documents. I do have a bank account with Bank One. Is that OK?

Let me know.

Black Mic

Ebola Monkey Note: Uh Oh, it looks like B-Smooth is going to rock da mic.

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 3

My Dear Dr. Kingsley,

I am sorry and I am also a bit upset, yo. You see, I can tell by your tone that this is serious business. I don't want you to think that I am not taking it serious and all, dawg. But I am a gangsta rap star, my music is my life! That is just the way I talk, playa. For real.

So, I am sorry and I hope we can proceed.

Black Mic and I are on the road playing a mini tour. This is exhausting, but fun. Last night we played a show at the Facial Blast (a club in San Diego) and Black Mic and I rocked the hell out of the mic...

Here are my passport details as requested:

Name: Benjamin Abraham Horowicz
Passport Number: 045452389
Sex: Medium
Date of Birth: 4-19-1971
Place of Birth: New York, NY
Passport Agency: Compton, CA

What happens next?

Anyway, I promised to send you some lyrics... Will you give me your opinion?

This is from a new song we are working on called That Ain't a Gatt in my Pocket, Beyotch... Tell me if you like it:

Well I'm latino
I'm on the scene-O
creepin through the hood
like a wino on vino
Ain't got no worries
except fo the time
Don't give a crap
Black Mic's got his nine
Now I'll peel yo ass
like a nut with my steel
and that crazy ass Mic's
got a honkey to kill
but when you reach my waistband
you'll get the shock of your life
I ain't packin heat today
not even a knife
that bulge you feeling
bitch it ain't no rocket
And fo sure it ain't
No gatt in my pocket...

Tell me if you like it!

Peace,

B-Smooth

From Kingsley to B-Smooth, March 4

Dear Benjamin Horowicz,

Thank you for your mail and please send all your messages to me via this email account okay.I now understand clearly that rap music is your life hence the tone of your voice.I also believe rap music is a growing venture and as i have explained to your colleagua black mic,i intend to invest part of my funds in your career as long as you can assure me that you guys sing and rap fine.

I already have the details of black mic and all the relevant documents are been prepared in his name as the beneficiary and receiver of the funds(US$16.25million) but now that i have your details the documents will be prepared in both your names okay.i beleive you are a team and together you will properly handle and manage the funds pending when i will travel to meet you in the states during my vacation in the middle of the year.It is important that you guys should now that somehow i beleive in you guys and i am reposing alot of trust in you guys to handle the funds well and i hope my trust will not be betrayed.
But thanks for your details as i will be filing it for the records ok.

I already mailed black mic and i told him that i will be sending two legal documents the Power of attorney legally transfering ownership of the funds to both of you as my partners and the beneficiary and receiver of the funds.I will also send to you an agreement letter with my signature on it which i will want you to study carefully and then sign your signature in the colmun that will be reserved for two of you okay and then send back to me for filling okay.

I aslo want to let you know that you will be required to pay a minimal charge to the firm holding the funds for their handling and administrative charges and note that it is not as if i cannot assit you guys to pay the charges so that the funds can be transfered to your nominated account but as i already explained to black mic,because of my very sensitive position,i cannot send money out of my country as it is prohibited by government so i want you guys to handle this okay.

Once again i thank you so much for your commitments and i can assure you that at the end of this all i will invest in your career.
I also hope that you and black mic are in agreement about this transaction.

I await your response and assurance and i will be sending you the legal documents and the contact details of the security firm in europe so that you can immidiately contact them and forward the bank details of the account you intend the funds be transferred to so that transfer can be effected immidiately.

Have a nice day.
Regards
Dr Kingsley Ndashi

PROFANATOR NOTE: This looks like dispensation from the good doctor to keep on rapping!!! INTERNAL!

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 4

Dear Micheal(black mic),

How are you today?I thank you for your commitments to this transaction and i must say that i appreciate it.

I want you to know that all the necessary documentations are being prepared in your favour and the company holding the funds will be duly notified.I will aslo be sending to you tommorow the agreement letter and power of attorney ,you will be required to sign the agreement letter and send back to me via email.

You will then be required to contact the company immidiately to make enquiries on how tha money will be transfered to your nominated account that you willl give to them okay.I give you their contact details tommorow also.

Have a nice day and say hello to your partner(b-smooth okay).If i may ask how many are you in your group?

I wait your response.

Dr Kingsley.

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 4

Dear Micheal,(black mic)

How are you?I just wanted to notify you that all the documents will be prepared in your name and that of your partner B-smooth as he has also forwarded his details to me,and i beleive you guys are a team.So you guys should decide on the account you intend the funds be transfered to.

Below is a copy of the mail i sent to your Partner

Ebola Monkey Note: He actually wanted me to know what he said to the Profanator. He's a good communicator.

From Black Mic to Kingsley, March 4

Dear Dr. Kingsely,

I'm good. How are you? Thanks for the headz up on the documents. I appreciate you letting me know what you said to B-Smooth. You don't have to do that as I trust you. We are all in this together and you are quickly becoming an official member of the group. To answer your question, there are officially two of us in the group. We have a DJ named DJ Soki. He's the man on the ones and twos if you feel me right. We also have a manager named Jim Bernstein. He's cool too but we have not told him about the deal with you. We think it's best that we keep this between us three. Anyways, we can transfer the funds into my Bank One account.

I'm working on a new rap with your name in it. B-Smooth is going to add his verse later but he has a hang over right now from 151. Check it out and tell me what you think. It's called "Whitey Don't Step to Me."

Intro - Black Mic talking.
Yo Yo Yo. Don't even think about stepping over here white boy. I don't care. I'll go to Rikers Island for four years just to prove my point. Ask that mother fucker from Krispy Kreme yo.

Whitey don't step to me, I'm about to blow.
B-Smooth and Black Mic about to rock the show.
You done did it, you on my last nerve.
Now feel my 380 honkey, you pale bastard.
Which your business degree, thinking you smarter than me.
Don't you know, Dr. Kingsley is the only HONKEY
Black Mic can stand, so if you see Kingsley on the street
wave your God damn hand, and yell "Kingsley, what's up whitey"
Black Mic don't like whites, but he thinks Kingsley is alrighty
B-Smooth feels the same, and he don't play
Shoot up a school of white children, playing during the day.
Cuz it's like that.

Outro - Black Mic talking.
Yo, this is Black Mic AKA Bitch Honkey Killa, letting you know that B-Smooth, DJ Soki, and Dr. Kin, Kin ka ka King, Kingsley (*that will be scratched like that by the DJ, read it like it sounds) coming at you in the two double 0 plus four. Don't step to us whitey, we ain't in the mood.

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 4

Whatup, King-D.

Mike Banks (Black-Mic) and I are so damn excited about how you want our help and how you want to put money into our music! You noticed I called you King-D. I think that should be your rap name! Mike said you wanted to be in the group.

Thanks for everything, yo. While we are waiting on the paperwork I am going to look at how much cash we have to help out with everything. You said you needed us to pay some fees or some shizzle? We got it covered, yo!

Did you ever drink some damn hyptique? Black-Mic said you were coming over to see us, yo, and that we would get all fucked up!

I think we should get to know each other a little better. Mike and I are even writing some lyrics about you. It is kinda talking about how not all white people are bad. I mean, for a white dude you seem to know the deal. Can you send us a picture of you?

I have a personal question then I am going to show you another rap. I saw that you are a doctor, that is good cause the other day I was layin it to a fine, thick ass baby mamma beyotch, and I broke my banjo string. Well, the shit hurts real bad, dawg... do you know of anything I can put on it to make it feel better?

Anyway, here is my half of a rhyme we have been writing which has you in it! It's called "Whitey Don't Step to me!" I hope Black-Mic didn't send you his rhyme first! I wanted to suprise you, dawg.

B-Smooth Trash Talk after verse 1:

You know me brother, I'll fuck up all white boys, but we gots this new boy, King-D, motha fucka is so dope we can call his ass a nizzle, yo. Fuck it, time to kick my shit.

B-Smooth Verse:

Kickin it with Black-Mic with his hands on the nine
and King-D busting slugs from the fuckin' sideline
little white ass bitches stepping shit in their droves
Mic and Smooth blast, King-D burns their clothes
And tough luck motherfucka's, we ain't near a hospital
Here be another slug, you didn't think it was possible
I'm here to let you know that this shit was all probable
so fuck the white boyz cause they asses are horrible
unless you be the King-D, D for defection
defecting from the white asses of punk perfection.

That's how it is, beyotches, don't you dare step to us or our boy King-D, that boy is an honorary nigga, yo.

That's it dawg! I wish I could see how happy you are to be one of the gang!

B-Smooth

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 5

Dear Micheal Banks,(black-mic)

Thanks so much for your mail.i am happy about the commitments you all are showing in this transaction,it shows that you are very serious minded lads.

I am sending to you via email attachments the legal documentations which you will be required to down load and act accordingly.

1)The Power of Attorney which legally transfers ownership of the funds US$16.25m in the custody of Forex Security and finance company amsterdam to you as my foreign partners and beneficiaries/receivers of the funds.

2)The letter of agreement,which you are both to study carefully and append your signatures and send back to me via email attachment also.

All other documents havee been preapred i your favour and sent to the company in Amsterdam.

find below the contact details of the company,so that you can immidiately contact them and enquire on how the trasfer will be made to your nominated account and please try to limit your rap terms when you contact them via email or telephone okay.write very clear words and not rap terms.

FOREX SECURITY AND FINANCE Bv.AMSTERDAM

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS: MR JAMES WISE

TEL: 0031-630-120-130

FAX:0031-206-708-773

EMAIL:info.forexsec@spinfinder.com

Contact them immidiately and find out from them the transfer modalities to your nominated account and get back to me to keep me informed this is very very important.

I know that i can count on you.

Have a nice day.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi.



Profanator Note: He spelled my name wrong and didn't mention the rhyme!

Ebola Monkey Note: What do we have to do to get him to say "I'M NOT WHITE!"? That's all I want.

From Black Mic to Kingsley, March 5

Dear King D,

We got your agreement and we signed it (not in rap terms). I've attached it in this email. Please print it out for your records. For a white boy, I like the way you handle things. You are very professional and I like that. Most white people want to talk about golf, Dave Mathews, or the stock market. You are more like a brotha. That's cool. It's good that a white dude, myself, and an angry latino can be partners. B-Smooth is a very proud Latino by the way. Esta loco if you know what I mean.

You never told us if you liked our rap we made for you. I'm assuming by your silence you weren't too into it. Maybe if you heard it with the music you'd like it. That way you could dance to it. Speaking of dancing, we had to stomp this white boy last night at our show for dancing like an idiot. He was doing the Running Man, the Roger Rabbit, and Blumpkin. Who does those dances anymore? Especially at one of our shows. We were going to let it slide until dude busted into the Robot. I was like "Oh hell no, that dude ain't doing the Robot here, ya heard!" B-Smooth went insane in the membrane and beat him down with his own penny loafer shoe. Just took it off his foot and beat him with it. Beat him like he was his crazy latin dad. I wish you could have seen it. The crowd went crazy.

Tell us a little about yourself King D. If we are going to be partners, we need to know about you.

Black Mic

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 6

Dear Micheal banks/Benjamin Horowicz.

Thank you so much for your prompt response and signing of the agrereement and i hope you carefully studied it.

I have mentioned before that i am a top civil servant the the republic of south Africa,i am the director gneral in the ministry of minerals resources in south africa.I am 52 years old and i am married with 4 kids.I have spent a better part of my life in government service.I ma a white south african okay.

Now i want to tell you to immidiately contact the company with the info below and find out from them how the transfer will be made to your nominated account immidiately.

With regards to your music i feel i will appreciate it better if i hear you sing it that seeing it in writing it is always better to listen to the flow in music.Yes i am your partner but in a different form our partnership is financially bases one as i will be investing money into your career.We will discuss all this when i tarvel to meet with you during my vacation in the middle of the year,that is wahy it is important to me that you guys are able to manage the funds pending when i arrive.

I am a proffessional in the feild of solid minerals exploration okay,how ever i beleive a lotof money can be made from rap music and i will do hatever it takes within my capacity to financially aid to make sure you succeed in your career.i am also a man of high integrity.

Contact the firm immidiately either by phone or email so that transfer modailities can be discussed.

FOREX SECURITY AND FINANCE Bv.AMSTERDAM

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS: MR JAMES WISE

TEL: 0031-630-120-130

FAX:0031-206-708-773

EMAIL:info.forexsec@spinfinder.com

Contact them immidiately and find out from them the transfer modalities to your nominated account and get back to me to keep me informed this is very very important.

I await your prompt response.

Dr Abdalla Ahmed.

Ebola Monkey Note: Hey, his name changed. What the hell? He also said he was white. That's not the response I was looking for. DAMN!

From Black Mic to Kingsley, March 6

Dear King D (Dr. Kingsley),

Thanks for writing back so quickly. Dude, I noticed you signed your email Dr. Abdalla Ahmed. Why did you do that? I like your white name better. Nothing worse than when I white dude wants to be a middle eastern muslim. We call them Wuslims in the US. White boys who want to be Muslim. Makes me sick to my stomach. Please think about going back to Dr. Kingsley.

Anyway. 52, white, and married with 4 kids. Wow. I knew you was white as Wonder Bread but I would have never guessed you were 52 with children. I'm not too big on white dudes but you are alright. Maybe you can tell me something about white people that I've always wondered about. Why are white people so bad at dancing? This question racks my brain yo. If you know, please tell me.

Well, I'm going to email the Forex Security and Finance now like you said. I think you are right about the music. You have to hear the beat with the lyrics to feel the flow. As far as money and rap, the sky is the limit. Imagine fat platinum chains, Hummers with TV's inside of them, fine ass woman of all colors, Dom P., bustin caps at whitey and gold teeth. We live it, learn it, and love it.

Talk to you soon,

Black Mic aka Bitch Honkey Killa

From Black Mic to James Wise, March 6

Dear DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS: MR JAMES WISE,

My name is Michael Banks. I want to know the details about the transfer of modalities so I can get my money. I'm working with Dr. Kingsley on this so if you have any questions, let me or him know.

Thanks

Michael Soloman Banks

From James Wise to Black Mic, March 8

FOREX SECURITY & FINANCE BV.
APPROVED DISCRETE SECURITY
HANDLERS.
POSTBUS 99879, 9800GB ZO.
AMSTERDAM,THE NETHERLANDS.
Tel:...+31-630-120-130.
Fax:..+31-204-085-252.
Email:info.forexsec@spinfinder.com


ATTN: Mr Michael S. Banks,

Thanks for your mail. We acknowledge receipt of your mail to this office and it is well noted.

Be informed that all the relevant documents regarding this transaction have been forwarded to this office stating you as the
beneficiary/receiver of the funds (US$16.25m) hence management recognizes you in this regards. You will now be required to pay the administrative/handling charges of (US$7,850)to this office so that the release and transfer of your funds (US$16.25m) to your nominated bank account can be effected immediately.

A form will be sent to you shortly to fill out your bank details and send back to this office and the charges you are to pay will be indicated in the form you are going to receive from this office.

And an official letter will be sent to you as well which gives you instruction on how the Administrative/handling charges of (US$7,850) is to be paid.

We await your prompt response.

Regards,

James Wise.

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 8

Dear Micheal(black mic)

Thanks you for your mail and i must say to you that Mr Real name Is Kingsley Ndashi,but atimes i am called abdallaahmed by my colleagues because of the way i critisize muslims and the islam religion,they make me sick as well,so they decided to name me abdallaahmed which they say means somebody that critisizes muslims.

I must say i am really sorry for the mix up and i think i prefer the king D you have named me and i will let my colleagues here know that instead of abdallaahmed i should now be addressed as Dr King D it is a much better nickname.

Thank you for your understanding and do let me know once you get a response from the firm.

How is the group doing and how is b-smooth.regarding your question about white men and dance,i really to not know.I beleive when i come to the Us to meet with you i will really gain knowledge of your music and the way you dance to it okay and i jmust tell you that i like women a lot and i beleive i will have alot of them relax with.

I wait for your response.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi-king D

Ebola Monkey Note: This was by far, is the funniest email I have ever seen since creating this site.

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 8

Dear Mike Banks,

How are you?I just wanted to know how you guys are doing and to find out if you have contacted the company yet.

Dr Kingsley

From Black Mic to Kingsley, March 9

King D,

What is up? I got your email. I completely understand your email. I got a little scared because the last thing I wanted you to be is a "Wuslim." Nothing worse then a white dude slanging bean pies on the corner and praying to Allah five times a day. White people already steal too much of black culture, I'll be damned if they get Muslim too. I wouldn't mind letting them be Muslims if they let us take over hockey or something. Maybe give us Tiger Woods back. You know, a fair trade.

Anyway, B-Smooth sends his regards. He is making a guest apperance at the Young Mexican American Youth Movement to Conceal Carry Convention (YMAYMCC, Inc.). I emailed the FOREX SECURITY & FINANCE BV. and they said you need to pay them $7850 to get the 16.25 million. They said they would send an official letter with instructions. You get me right.

Hell yeah we going to dance and relax with the ladies when you get here! It's going to be crazy. I'm also going to show you how bad white americans dance. It's just down right trifling. You might even get offended.

Talk to you soon brotha.

Peace,

Black Mic

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 9

Whattup, King-D!

Black Mic just paged my ass and told me to get in touch with our new nizzle. So here I be, kickin' it with King-D. (Did you see? I made a rhyme between you and me! I just can't stop rhymin' yo. This shit is in my blood).

Anyhow, I thought it was a good idea to get in touch and say that I don't care that you are a gringo white boy and all, dawg. You see, essay, I am from the Barrio, and being a hardcore crazy latin, I hate the white man, but we are cool. What I am saying is that you don't have to be scared of me, we are homiez. Black Mic said he was worried about you being a wuzlim. Fuck that shit. You are cool, dawg. Real cool.

So, Mic says that you are going to come over here, get fucked up with us, and relax with the ladies. Hell, yes! I am going to set you up with some chicano lolitas and I am sure that Black Mic can fix you up with some thick ass baby mamma bitches, dawg... Hell yeah...

You never answered about my need for medical attention, you being a doctor and all. And help a brother out and let me know if you like the rhymes. Speaking of rhymes, I got a new one I wrote while I was speaking to some youthful Mexican nizzles, yo.

Oh, before I forget, Mic said you needed seven grand, yo. No problem, we got about $36,000 in the bank from our new record deal... Let me know what you need from us.

I wrote this rhyme for my nigga Black Mic, I hope you dig it, please let me know. I am going to rap it solo at one of our shows as a suprise. It is called "You had me at "Nigga", Yo"

Trash Talk: This one goes out to my number one favourite nigga, Yo. Black Mic AKA Black Mothafuckin Mike---Bitch Honkey Killa. Only thing bad about hanging with this loco essay is he shoots up all the white people first... You take all the fun out o' gangsta, nizzole...

Verse One:

Yo white boy, I got a deal for ya,
step on out there with an apple on yo head,
Black Mic needs you for target practice, playa
Mothafucka missed, shit you be dead.
Though I wouldn't be supposing
that my nigga won't be hozing
your wack ass down with a burst from a mini-mac
That's M to the A to the C, shit you're wack
My nigga Black Mic never been to the barrio
But we is still cool in the gangeo,
like Luigi and Mario
Where you find one you find the other
And ain't no other brother allowed to make jokes about my mother
Shit

Outro: My boy Black M be so motha fuckin dope, he is allowed to say all kind of things about my latino madre, and no motha fucka from any hood is going to fuck with his ass. No nigga, wigga, white-boy, wuslim, crip, or motha fuckin mormon, yo. Damn, I hate those mormon mothafuckers, Quick, Black Mic, hand me my motherfucking nine--at least let me cap one of those hombres first, yo.

Out!

Tell me what you think, dawg!

Peace out,

B-Smooth

Ebola Monkey Note: Thank you Profanator. Your song brought a tear to my eye.

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 8

Dear Mike,(black-mic)

I thank you for your mail and i must say that i feel the sameway you do about Muslims,i really do not like them for anything.I suggest we do not get destracted.We have a very serious transaction at hand and we need all the commitments and concentration to see to it's successful conclusion and the funds(US$16.25m) transferred to tour nominated account in the States.

I am delighted you contacted the company already and they have responded to you.They said they will be sending instructions as well,what did they say the $7850 was for,i suppose for their handling charges ,In any case get back to them and tell them you await the official letter with instructions on how to proceed,we cannot afford any delays since you mentioned that you already have a a secured bank account to which the funds can be transferred.

It is imperative you assure me at this point that you are able to carry on with this transaction with all dedication as we are a team now and we are going to be in patnership for a very long time.I will require that you make arrangements in agreement with the firm on how to pay the $7850 so that transfer can be effected to your nominated account.Do note that I can not offset this charge as i told you earlier i am a senior government civil servant and i cannot transfer funds out of my country because of monetary government regulatory policy.I can only take money out when i am travelling out my self.

Please always keep me updated on all your contacts with the firm.

I am happy that the group is doing fine and i cannot possibly wait to come over at the end of this transaction and really hear you sing/rap.I know i am going to have a wonderful time with you guys and above all we will have plenty of money to deal with ok.

Say hello to the group and i will be sending B-smooth a mail,to say hello.

I want you buddies of mine to keep doing what you doing and we will get to the skies soon.When you meet me you will fully understand that despite being white i am black at heart and i have always loved to associate with blacks,they always think positive and that is what the world needs.

I hope to hear from you soon and do getback to the company as soon as you can.

One love

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From Kingsley to B-Smooth, March 9

Dear Ben(B-smooth)

I am very delighted to write to you and i am happy that you had a nice outing through the weekend,i know it all went smooth as in( b-smooth). I really long to hear you guys rap in person when i arrive the States to meet with you guys after the succesful transfer of the funds to your nominated account.

I am happy you guys are in agreement as to the entire transaction and you are not undermining the confidentiality required. Black-mic says the firm has gotten back and are asking that $7850 be payed,but that they are yet to send an official documents with further instruction,It is my wish that you got back to the firm and tell them that you want to know the instructions so that we can move ahead with this transaction,at this stage we cannot afford any delays ok.So you guys do all
you can to offset this fee so that the funds(US$16.25m) can be transferred to the account you guys will be providing.
i am happy that you understand ,i have explained to black-mic that i am not a muslim and i feel the same way he feels about them ok.and i know he is cool with that now.I will be coming over during my vacation and i know i am going to have a wonderful trip with you guys and i womanise,i love my wife and kids though but i just like to womanise.

It is very important that we concluded this transaction in the shortest possible time. I am very happy that you guys are doing good with your career,when i arrive,you can be assured that there is going to be a boom financially. I must thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for your resolve and commitments to this transaction. I wait to hear from you soon

One love
Dr Kingsley Ndashi

Ebola Monkey Note: We are finally getting this guy to open up. He isn't the smartest mother fucker on the planet but quickly becoming a favorite. Lets see if we can confuse him some more.

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 9

Dear King D,

My brother. I feel you dawg but I think you misunderstood me. I love Muslims. Black Muslims. I hate white Muslims (Wuslims). I feel it is important to be yourself while living your life. You see, black people in the US are being stolen from by the white man. Everyone wants to have their hand in black culture. Although I think it's good that more and more white girls are digging brothers, I don't like what's going on with everything else. We will give you Erkle, Ja Rule, Eminem, Bryant Gumble and his brother, Robin Givens, Stewart Scott, Justin Timberlake, Pink's boyfriend and Christina Aguilera. That's fine. But don't take Musliism from us. That's are religion. Malcom X, Malcom Y, Shabazz Matazz, Shama Lama Ding Dong, Farakahn. Those are my people.

You my white brotha. Me and B-Smooth always got yo back dawg. Just holla. With the three of us, its all about Foe-On Nine. When you come over for your vacation, we going to have more ladies for you than you can imagine. Some serious relaxing with the ho's.

We going to be making some money. Word. We going to be wearing the shiny ass suits that Puff and Mase use to rock. Take that. Take that. I thought I told you that we won't stop. I'll email Forex for the instructions.

Internal

Black Mic

Ebola Monkey Note: and just as I was about to email Forex, I received the instructions...

From Wilek Monik to Black Mic, March 9

ATTN: Mr Michael Banks,

Thanks for your patience please find below the foreign application form.

We await your prompt response.

Best regards

Mrs Wilek Monik.

Ebola Monkey Note: one was a questionnaire and the other was the payment instructions. To see them, check out my email back to Wilek.

From Black Mic to Wilek, March 9

Dear Wilek Monik,

Here is your questionnaire. We have a problem with your instructions for payment. See, me and B-Smooth refuse to use Western Union. We grew up on the East Coast. We live on the West Coast now but we are East to the bone. We feel that if we sway too far one way, that might upset some of our fans. We got love for the West, East, Dirty South, and the Clean Midwest. If someone found out we used WESTERN union, they might get the wrong idea. So if it all goes down like its supposed to, we will use the bank. Just an FYI.

Internal...

Mike Banks

Ebola Monkey Note: OK. The Profanator and I thought it would be a good time to ask for a picture. After all, they were asking for 7 thousand dollars. It's going to be tricky because we talked Kingsley into saying he was a white guy. He even fucked that up. If he would have just said "Hey guy, I'm not white," we wouldn't have this problem.

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 9

King-D,

My nizzle! Damn, for a little white guy you understand it all! You even figured out what my name means! My weekend was smooth, essay. Straight OG style, but then again, B-Smooth wouldn't have it any other way.

Man, I hate to say it, but i think you upset Black Mic by saying you didn't like muslims. Black Mic is a nigga to the nth, yo. That means muslims turn his ass on or some shit. He was kind of down when I spoke to him about it. I think he was just saying he hates white dudes that pretend to be muslim. Ain't no worries home boy. Me: I don't give a shit, I am Latino. That means I don't care about a mothafucka but myself, the Virgin Mary, and my hombres. Can you feel me?

Anyway, Mic filled out some paperwork and went to get a hummer and some Dom-P to make him feel better.

Damn, dawg! You got a wife and kid and you dig the bitches! That rocks, playa! You are going to have such a good time here relaxing with the fine ass ho's. I like the way you do business, for a white boy and all. You are still my main man, yo. I got's your back.

I have a favour to ask you, homes. We are getting ready to release Foe-On Nine's second album. We changed the name from "Beyotch, Don't Put Mayo on That Mothafucka!" to " Give Me That Hot Facial Blast!" Here is the listing of the songs:

Whitey Don't Step To Me
Damn, You Bit the Motha'Fucka'
I Did Not Call You A Bitch, I Called You A Beyoooooootch!
Yo Birth Canal is Blowin Smoke Signals--featuring Three Times One Minus One
Latino Roulette (Gimme Yo Motha'Fuckin' Bling)
Whitey Shoot (Mic, Grab Yo Steel, Yo)
Bitch, You Take a Blood Test (Baby Momma Song)
Don't Let Your Son Go Down On Me--Featuring M. Jackson
Kill Whitey Day (Everybody Celebrate)
Shit! I didn't Even Cum In You, Beyotch!
Don't Worry, Baby: Oral Ain't Real Sex.
If I Were a Honkey
Fucking My Managers Wife
American Nightmare (your white children want to be me)
Outro (You Got Two Fuckin Seconds To Get the Fuck Out)

Well, we make a lot of references to Mic's black heritage in the songs. Seeing as that you are from South Australia or some shit, you must know some authentic black dudes from where you are from.

Our manager has asked us to get a picture of a black man from another country holding a sign saying the album name. It is going to go on the album cover. It is meant to be some cross-cultural stuff that our manager says well be good for our image. Could you get us a picture of a Black man holding a sign saying: "Foe-on Nine--Give Me That Hot Facial Blast!"

Part of the problem is that we went to get money from our account to pay off the money you need, yo, (we were going to make it a cool $8,000) and our manager said we could not remove it from the account till we took care of the album business, and got a photograph for the cover. Our manager is a tightass motherfucka! So we are kind of stuck. Could you get us a picture like that? You must know some black peeps, yo.

Anyway, peace out!

Let me know about the photograph as we need it ASAP. Then we can get the money from our music business to pay off the charges. Then we can proceed with the transaction, yo!

Peace out,

Internal,

One Love (I saw you signed your shit that way, homie, that is cool!)


B-Smooth--Mad Ass Latino Nizzle

P.S. Black Mic gets a tag line: Bitch Honkey Killa. Do you think my new one is cool: Mad Ass Latino Nizzle?

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 10

Dear Black-mic,

I want to say you also misunderstood me and i am happy you understand,i will never do or say anything to offend you my partner.

I want to know if you have received the instructions from the company,if so what did they say.

I am counting on you guys to round off this transaction once and for all.please do all you can so that the funds US$16.25 can be transfered to your account.

I anxiously wait to hear from you and i say that you alum is full of songs and i know it will be an instant hit.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From Kingsley to B-Smooth, March 10

Dear B-Smooth,

I thank you for your mail.I have told you very clearly that i am a very very busy man,hence i will not be able to arrange the picture you ask of ,it is way of my line of duty.I believe you guys can arrange the picture over there and move ahead.
Your list of songs on your new album are much and i beleive it is an out right hit as long as you guys have the right beat to go with it.And for the tag they are both okay. This is a very serious transaction and we have gotten to a stage where you
guys will have to do all you can to have the funds transferred to your nominated account.This transaction is beneficial to us all so do make your manager understand that.I know your album is bussiness but this transaction is also important aswell and should be treated as such,rememeber how much is in for you guys and my intention to invest part of my money in your
career.

Has the company sent the instructions yet,I need to be informed on all contacts with the company.I plead with you to try to make the payment so that the funds can be transfered to your nominated account.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From James Wise to Black Mic, March 10

ATTN: Mr Michael Banks,

Thanks for your mail. We are in full receipt of your mail and the content is not well understood.

Management wishes that you state clearly which of the payment options is suitable for you and go ahead and make payment immediately so that the transfer of your funds (US$16.25m) to your nominated bank account you have provided.

It is mandatory that we inform you that payment through the Western Union which is a form of money transfer recognized the world over and you can find it in your state, is a faster process for us to receive payment.

However, payment through our correspondent bank is also fine but it take a longer process and that we delay the transfer of your funds to your nominated bank account.

We want you to know that which ever option you prefer management is poised to giving you complete customer satisfaction.

We await your prompt response.

Regards,

James Wise.

From Black Mic to James Wise, March 10

James,

Well then we are just going to have to go with the "longer process." We can not use Western Union. Foe-On Nine's reputation depends on it. We have no problem writing a check or doing a bank transfer. We'd fly over there before we used Western Union and hand it to you personally. You say "complete customer satisfaction" and I say "give it to me."

I'm sure you understand,

Mike

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 10

Damn, dawg,

You is trippin' and loco, essay! Didn't you tell us not to tell anyone else? Then how can we tell our manager about it, homes?

I can't believe you are not going to help us out. We are even giving away $8,000 cause we trust you and you can't help us out?

What have you done for us homes? Just do this little thing...

I am upset, King-D. I thought you were our nizzle.

B-Smooth

PROFANATOR NOTE: You are so sly, but so am I, BEYOOTCH!!!

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 10

Dear King D,

I'm not offended by the whole Muslim thing. I know what you mean. I am offended that you won't help us with the picture. We want that picture for our album cover. We need an authentic african playing your part. I'll tell you what. If you aren't willing to help us, lets just split the fee for the bank. That will be $3925 a piece. You come up with your half of the money. I think that's fair for someone who won't take a picture. So let me know when you have your half of the money and you can transfer it to me. Then I will transfer it to Forex. If you can figure out how to come up with that photo, and I'm sure you can, I will pay the whole thing. You decide.

We also have another problem. B-Smooth and I will not use Western Union and James Wise is insisting we do. I explained to him that we will transfer the money using a bank transfer. We won't even use Eastern Union, Mid-West Union, Dirty South Union. No unions.

Let me know what you decide about the picture.

Black Mic

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 10

Dear Michael Banks,

Thanks for your mail.It is very unfortunate that you feel bad about my inability to provide you a picture of a black man holding up a placard with what B-smooth wrote out.I am a very senior Director and that is way off my line of duty.

In any case I will be away on assignment for about 2 days and will not be responding to your messages until my return.

I want to know if the firm did not give any other mode of making payment other than western union as you said,tell them your position on this matter immidiately.I want you to keep me fully informed on all your correspondence with the company ok.

I find it very disheartning that despite the big partnership we are into you have decided to place me in a very tight position as i have made it very clear to you of my inability to send money out of my country because of government regulations,if you now decide to come up with half the money ,you are making things very difficult for me because it will be difficult to send money to you of even the company.i want you to have a rethink on your stands.

I quite understand that your picture is important to you but I am incapacitated at the momment in that regards.

In as much as I appreciate your willingness to assist but you do not give me conditions making statements like if you sned the picture i will make the payment,i really do not like that ,this transaction is beneficial to me and you guys aswell so do not make it seem as if its a one way favour.

I await your response on your contacts with the company.i also hope by the time i get back to the office from my assignment you guys would have resolved the issue at hand.

Regards

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 10

Dear Dr. Kingsley,

Thanks for not helping with the album cover. This white boy stuff has to go.

We are supposed to be helping eachother. Something tells me that if I was a white dude, you would have that picture "lickty split (whatever you crackers say).

Anyway, I emailed Forex and told them I will not use Western Union. Since you are messing up our album cover plans, I could care less about how difficult only paying half the $7,850 is for you. Come up with the money. I'm looking at my half right now.

Talk to you soon,

Michael Banks AKA Black Mic AKA Bitch Honkey Killa

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 10

King-D, yo...

What can I say, it appears that you can take the white boy out the cracker, but you can't take the cracker out of the white boy... No, wait... you can take the cracker out of the cracker, but you still got's a white boy. Shit, that ain't right either. What I am saying is the we is upset, dawg, and you are acting like a little white boy.

Lets face facts, homes: We are going to front $8,000 dead Benjamins based on trust. How are we guaranteed that we will get what is owed to us? Mic and Smooth are starting to think this is shady. I mean, all we are asking is for you to find an authentic African black man and take a picture holding the sign of our album cover, essay. If nothing else it proves trust, homes.

The fact that you won't do it is making us think you are not being honest. It makes a brother sad, dawg. After all, you are our King-D. You said we need to find an amicable way to solve this... I got one! Have a photo made...

Our manager won't budge. He is stubborn. C'mon man, $8,000 for a stupid photograph and the completeion of the transaction? How can you say no?

Peace out...

I still love ya homie, but you need to prove yourself. We is busy motha fuckas too.

B-Smooth

From James Wise to Black Mic, March 11

FOREX SECURITY & FINANCE BV.
APPROVED DISCRETE SECURITY
HANDLERS.
POSTBUS 99879, 9800GB ZO.
AMSTERDAM,THE NETHERLANDS.
Tel:...+31-630-120-130.
Fax:..+31-204-085-252.
Email:info.forexsec@spinfinder.com

ATTN: Mr Michael Banks,

Thanks for your mail. We acknowledge receipt of your mail and it's content well understood. With regards to the mode of payment we already stated which ever option that is acceptable to you is fine.

You are therefore advised to expedite actions in making the payment so that your funds (US$16.25m) can be effectively transfered to your nominated bank account.

Once again we thank you for your understanding and we await your payment evidence to our correspondent bank account as stated in the letter that was sent to you.

For further clarification you are required to make urgent contact with this office on our telephone number as stated above.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Regards,

James Wise.

From Kingsley to Black Mic & B-Smooth, March 13

Dear Mike and Ben,

How are you boys doing today and how is your music going?I just got back from my 2-day official assignment and read both your mails.

I must say that I am dissappointed at your desposition,and just as b-smooth correctly stated in his mail,I will not send a stupid picture.I am also amazed that you keep saying you're offering give me $8,000 for my transaction,I disagree in totality,because if there was nothing for you guys in return in this transaction,you will not assist.Stp painting the picture as if it is a one way favour.I will be offering you 20% 0f $16.25m,if you do your calculations well,you will know that you stand to gain a lot.

However,I want you both to tell me outright if you are in or you have developed cold feet and do not give an excuse with the stupid picture because I know in my mind that the picture cannot not hold down your album.I am begining to get skeptical about leaving so much funds in your custody,What is the guarantee that my money will be safe in your hands with you acting the way you are .

I want you to immidiately send to me the payment instructions giving to you by the Forex Company because I have gotten a gentleman in europe who is willing to help me with about 3,000euros so that he can make a part payment for the charges the company is asking for.I want to also know if you have forwarded your account details to the Forex company.

It is important at this juncture that I let you know that I am a man of Integrity and I have come a long way in life so i will not have you disrespect me ok.This is not a do or die affair,if you decide now that you are backing out fine,the funds will still be there ,I will still have my job and you guys will sill be yourselves and I will not hesitate to have my attorney prepare a termination of our agreement and forward to the firm.

This is a serious transaction and I will not have you boys ruin it because of a picture.I will not send the picture and that is final and if you want to back out ,do it now ok.I am not pleading anyfurther,the favour here is reciprocal and not one side as you put it .

I am not pleased with your new desposition regarding this transaction,it is best you treat with utmost seriousness.I beleive your say should be final and not that of your manager as he is on your payroll.

Have a nice day and send to me all the payment instruction giving to by the forex company so that I can ask the gentleman to make a part payment of 3,000 to the company.

I await your response stating categorically your stands so that I can know if this our partnership terminated or not.

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 15

Dear Mike and Ben.

How are you today?I want to know what the situation is with you boys regarding this transaction.

I am giving you 72hours from today to know if you still willing to carry on or I will not hesitate to terminate my partnership with you boys.

Dr Kingsley.

Ebola Monkey Note: 72 hours! Nobody puts B-Smooth and I into a corner.

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 16

Dear Kingsley,

I'm very disappointed in how this has turned out. I haven't been able to write, eat, bust caps at honkeys, shoot dice, mack the ho's, drink my Hypnotic, or wear my bling. I've finally decided that the best way to let you know my feelings is to make it into a song. It's very metaphorical, you get me right? It's called "DECLARING WAR ON A HONKEY IN 72 HOURS." Please enjoy as it comes from the heart:

Intro - Black Mic Talking (sound of him loading his shotgun in the background)

Awe shit. He done did it again. Damn honkey. White devil. Cracker Ass Cracker. Funny dancing motha fucka. I'm a declare this here war on him. Let Mr. Mossberg here sort it out. Let me call B-Smooth and it's on.

First Verse

Call the homies, Whitey done did it
Can't help a playa out, Black Mic ain't down wit it
I got something for his ass, It sure ain't flowers
Black Mic and B-Smooth, Going to war with honkey in 72 hours
Should I hit him with a bat?
YEAH
Should I hit him with this rap?
YEAH
Should I sneak around his back and attack him with my gat, then feed him to my cat?
YEAH
YEAH
YEAH
Honkey can't do me any favors, Can't even be neighbor
Can't take a picture for an album, He has to be a hater
Gonna get some gas, Gonna get a lighter
Gonna get some marsh mellows, cook em over a dead honkey fire
I ain't felt like this since Krispy Kreme pressed charges
I wish I had that donut mixing spoon, I'd beat Kinglsey down for what he started
Ain't changing my mind, I know he'll be sour
Black Mic killing the difficult honkey in 72 hours


Chorus (sung by Three Times One Minus One)

What do you when a honkey don't help you?
And nobody won't tell you what to do.
You look to God for the answer, for the power
And all he says is shoot that honkey in the foot in 72 hours
Yeah baby....Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Outro - Black Mic talking.

You hurt a nigga's feelings dawg. Now we have a count down to war. You did wrong Kingsley. You know it. I'm calling on all the real black men of the world for help. My brothers, rise up and kill Kingsley. If you see him on the street, shoot without hesitation. Kill that honkey. Kill that white boy. Peace.

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 17

Dear Mike,

It is very clear to me that you do not have any respect whatsoever for me and you expect me to continue this transacion with you.You call me dawg which I know means dog and it is very pulsating.

I was really begining to get along with you guys to the etent that i had to buy some rap cds but you guys just flushed all that away.

I also asked that you send to me the payment details the forex company sent to you,as i mentioned to you that A gentleman offeredv to help with some funds,so I expected he will make a part payment to the company pending when we are able to pay the balance so that the funds acn be transferred immediately to your nominated account.

The thing is that you guys have refused to realie that I am not used to your life style and it takes time for people with different lifestyles to blend their ways.I am a respected civil servant in my country and you guys are artists.

Anyway I still like you guys and it does no matter if you ask that i am shot down on the street,I still like you guys and to think of the fact that I was really looking forward to coming to the states to meet with you guys and have the trip you guys promised to give me .

It is now up to you Mike to state outright if you are still in on this or not.Beacuse you have already been presented to the forex company as the beneficiary/receiver of the funds and it has not changed.

I await your response

Dr Kingsley Ndashi

Ebola Monkey Note: He never fails to put a smile on my face.

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 17

Dear Kingsley,

That is not true. Dawg in ebonics is the same as saying "man." So if I say "listen dawg", it's the same as saying "listen man." Also, when I said "black people rise up and shoot Kingsley down in the street", that was a metaphor for how upset we are. I speak the language of the street. B-Smooth is one crazy Latino and I am straight up Black Mic AKA Bitch Honkey Killa.

You have to understand why we are angry. Our record company wanted a real African to hold a sign for the cover of our album. They were going to give us an advance to pay for it. That was the money that we were going to use to pay Forex. That way, we didn't have to use our own out of pocket money. When you turned your back on us, we lost out on that money. So me in B-Smooth was like "this guy just cost us like 10 thousand benjamins, and he won't help us. We be helping him and shit, and he just keeps acting like a racist white boy. Lets go get high and pass out on some train tracks. Word to ya mutha."

See why we are upset? No matter what happens, we will still be cool. I just wish you didn't ruin everything and sent the picture. We told you that it didn't even have to be you. Pick some crazy black african guy or something.

Black Mic

PS - In our next song, I won't ask for you to be shot down in the street. I'll tell black people to yell at you and spit. I have to say something because it would ruin my street credibility if I went from "shoot him down" to "give him a hug" We'll slowly work our way to that.

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 17

King-D,

You got a bad attitude, yo. You made that nigga, Mic, all upset, cracker!

We do things by honour, homes, simple as that. You have said that we are going to get all of this money--so you are doing us a favour. It is whack, yo. You can't hide behind that, how are we supposed to know you are telling the truth? The picture (which ain't stupid in the true sense, dumbass) is like a code of honor. Kinda like me saying to Mic: "Yo Mic, I am all pissy and shit, kill me a honkey," and Mic saying, "Shit, you pic out a gringo for me to cap, yo!"

We love you, homes. It hurt us to write our new song "Declaring War on a Honkey in 72 Hours." You are like our new friend and we want you to hang with us.
Shit, I better show you my lyrics, though. It is tight...

B-Smooth Trash Talk:

Man, fuck this pussy ass shit. I ain't got the time to fuck with a cracker mothafucka, homes... If that white bread, corn fed cracka won't send a damn picture of some crazy ass Lithuainian, I got a picture for him..

VERSE TWO:

Don't sweat it Mic, you takin' this shit too hard
after all we are dealing with a white ass retard
true it was our fault that we trusted in King-D
you told me more than once "Never trust a honkey"
well we broke that damn rule and flexed our toleration powers
we done learned our lesson, now we got seventy two hours
so break out the oil and the dirty ass rags
and strip down the gats then load up the mags
that bitch Kingsley's busted now he have to pay
I'll shoot him in the ass from the window of my chevrolet...

CHORUS BY Three Times Two Minus One

B-Smooth Rant:

Man, am going to enjoy busting caps in that Tom Hanks lookin' motherfucka's ass, homes. White ass gringo beyotch... I got's me 8000 dead presidents and the beyotch won't even send a picture... shit, this is my street homes, and that's the way we do things in the barrio...

Like I said, it hurt to write, homes... I don't know where we stand on the transaction... Let us know...

B-Smooth -- Mad Ass Latino Nizzle.

P.S. How come you never answer questions like when I asked you about my tagline?

From Kingsley to Black Mic, March 17

Dear Mike,

It is very unfortunate that i do not understand you street language that was why i insisted you write me in plain language that i will clearly understand.

You did not send to me as i asked the payment instructions sent to you by the forex company,or did you not understand that part of my mail.

I am no racist and i am not white to the core,I have black blood in me as my grandmum was black ok.

I really wonder why you have grown cold feet all of a sudden regarding this transaction,whatever be the case let me know if you are still in or not as we can not cry over anything yet when we have a huge transaction.

I must say that I have a very funny feeling that you guys are no more interested in this transaction anymore,if that is the case say so and don't make up excuses with a picture that you claim would have fetched you money.I might sound strict but that is me I say things the way i see them and with my status and achiements I have no options that to be very frank regardless of what anyone feels.

Dear Mike and Ben i do not have a gun on your head insisting you assit me if you boys are no more willing go on ahead and say so ok.

Have a nice day young men.


Dr Kingsley Ndashi

Ebola Monkey Note: At this point, the Profanator and I know there is no way this Mugu is going to send the picture. So we've decided to just piss him off.

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 22

Dear White Bread Kingsley,

I just got back from a four day tour. The tour was called "Kill Kingsley" tour. It seems we have quite a little movement going. Please don't ever go to California without me and B-Smooth. I'm pretty sure you might get shot. We have Crips, Bloods, Jets, Sharks, Shitzus, KKK (which is suprising because they usually love white dudes, and children all singing the chorus "That's right I said kill white Kinglsey, he makes me mad G, frontin on my posse." It's like an anthem. We performed at some of the largest malls in California. We made some nice cash thanks to this. That will make up for some of the money you cost us with the whole picture thing.

So your Grandma is black? Why do you hate blacks and latinos then? That doesn't make any sense. If you were really black, you'd send the picture and help a brother out.

Anyway, you are right, you do not have a gun to our heads. You'd be dead if you did that. Stick a gun to our head, you might get killed dead. B-Smooth & Black Mic are very unforgiving when it comes to the 9 milly, honkey don't be silly, lets roll up a philly, and let the white girls suck on my willy.

I just can't help rhyming. It's in my blood.

Talk to you,

Black Mic

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 23

What's crackin' cracker?

Black Mic just mailed me and said that you were a racist. That makes a latino like me insane in the membrane. Who are you trying to get crazy with essay? Don't you know I'm loco...

I got's to say, gringo, the fact that you have been a little white ass, milk dud, mothafucka has lost us repect in the hood, and with our record label. Our manager was like: "Mic and Smooth, all I need is a picture of a gentleman of the African persuasion. This gentleman is to be replete with a sign bearing the name Foe-on Nine and the title of the album. Please procure this for the record company and we shall press on with the album, post-haste." And we were like: "no problem homes, we gots us an honorary nigga named King-D, he is as white as a truck-pull, but he is our nigga, yo. you know what I am saying homes? This mofo done lock and loaded, and his lily-white ass is already in Africa!"

That shit was simple, and you fucked it up like some cracker ass cracker motherfucka.

Shit.

I wrote a new rhyme about anger, it's called "Let me Fuckin' go Black Mic, I got's a Gringo to Gatt."

It is about me being loco, yo...

Trash Talk:

This one goes out to my boy Black Mothafuckin Mic. He tries to hold me back when I am riled, and right now I am as happy as a bastard on father's day. That little bitch whitey Kingsley fucked us... racist cracker mothafuka!

Verse one:

Black Mic I love you, but you gotta know
this arms behind back shit just has to go
right now I'm full out, up to number thirteen
don't want you hurt when I rip out Kingsley' spleen
and blow it up, fuck it up, smack it up like a balloon full O'piss
and fuck his cracker wife, between her saggy old tits
and the reason I'm tellin you this, Mic, my number one nigga
I know you do not want me doing time over this wigga
But King-D is a bitch so let me go this time
and in the drawer over there you will find my best fucking nine
So hand it to me now, and don't worry bout the po po
smooth needs to blast or he will go fucking loco...

Trask talk and Black-Mic intro from B-Smooth:

You see that, Kingsley white boy, I am the pimp and you are the ho! Ghetto Fabulous B-Smooth kicking it to you in the two double aught four... how's it feel to be hoing for a crazy latin? I hate you like I hate all crackers. Mic, show this white boy how it's done in the hood...

Peace out Whitey Cracker boy...

B-Smooth

PROFANATOR NOTE: So, does that fact that I dedicate every song to you, my nizzle, put a lump in your throat?

Ebola Monkey Note: Shut up! Shut up!!!!! You had me at "my nizzle."

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 24

Damn Whitey,

Can't you even reply to us anymore? Why do you hate us? We thought we were friends, playa...

Drop us mail and let us know what is going on.

Internal,

B-Smooth

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, March 26

Listen White Bread,

If you was wise, you'd answer me and B-Smooth's emails. This ain't a fucking game! This ain't Candyland, Shoots and Ladders, Red Light/Green Light, Hide the Bone, Who's Monkey's Burning, Pin the Tail on the Mexican, Hide and Go Get It or Cap Da White Boy. It could be that last one if you don't get some get right.

Where are you honkey? You starting to make me mad.

Mad enought that I wrote the second verse to B-Smooth's classic "Let me Fuckin' go Black Mic, I got's a Gringo to Gatt."

Here it goes:

Black Mic (Talking)

Ahhhhh. Uhhhhhh. Errrrrrrr.

Sound of a piece of shit hitting the water in a toliet bowl.

Black Mic (Talking)

Yo B-Smooth, I just took a big Kingsley. It felt good. Now that I'm done taking my Kingsley, Ima spit this here fire.

2nd Verse by Black Mic

I love you too bro, proceed to blast
Put that honkey Kingsley on his ass
And smash his balls, into his mouth
B-Smooth kicking Kingsley out the back of the house
Do that bitch like it ain't no thing though
Eni, Meni, Mini, Mo, Grab that Gringo by his toe
Shoot that fool, make him pay, we all know that Kingsley's gay
Don't say a word, just pop your caps, kill the white, shoot some craps
And roll around, the neighborhood
Dead White Kingsley, It's all good
Peace

Now Kingsley, I really don't want you dead. It's more like a metaphor. Write us back bitch.

Black Mic

From B-Smooth to Kingsley, March 29

Whitey,

Are you scared? You are a scared little girl. If you were not you would answer us!

I think you were lying the whole time, otherwise you would have mailed back.

You are not a man, essay, you are a boy with your father's computer...

Gringo.

Write back mofo...

B-Smooth

From Black Mic to Kinglsey, April 1

Dear Mugu Kingsley,

Obviously you know we are "not serious." That's usually what you dumb fucks say. Anways, we wrote a final rap for your dumb ass. It's called "Mugu Kingsley, the worst Nigerian Scam Artist ever!." Want to hear it? Here it go:

Trash Talk by The Profanator (B-Smooth):

Awwww shit, kicking ass and blasting caps in the year 2004, B-Smooth and Black Mic non stop rocking with Foe-on Nine. Yo Mic, what do you get when you cross a cracker with a scammer? A white ass, bugga eating, bitch ass, scammer. Word!

Rap by B-Smooth:

Rollin' through the streets of Lagos, Black Mic at my side,
only slowing down to spit shells from the back of the ride
and we ain't aiming gatts at the masses, that ain't bonafide
just at the weak ass scammers with their lives to hide
The biggest bitch in the hood is a whore named Kingsley
The funniest thing is that we named him King-D
King Dick, that he be, but not in dick size, you see
He's just a squirrel getting nuts from his scamming tree
You see Kingsley we know you are a bitch and your scamming is weak
in fact your scams lack technique and I will take a leak
in your face you stupid fucking cracker jack cracker
and the sound you will hear is "tap a tap tapper"
don't hide your bitch ass it ain't the gatts inspiring dread
it is the sound of me cock-tapping your fucking forehead.
In a nutshell bitch, your fake ass name
combined with your scam make you fucking lame.
We ain't the ones baby, we are smarter than you
And while I am at it I will fuck your mum too!

Trash Talk by Ebola Monkey Man (Black Mic):

As you all know, I just got done taking a Kingsley and it felt good. You know what else feels good Kingley? GETTING YOUR SHIT PUSHED IN. Kingsley, bend over baby, we going to push your shit in with this here rap.

Rap by Black Mic:

Now I done traveled all the world, and met a lot of fans
I didn't get the name for nothing, it's the Ebola Monkey Man
Pissing Nigerian Scammers off, one at a time
Getting pictures of they faces, using names in my rhymes
Like the retard that goes by the name of Kingsley
Trying to take peoples money, acting selfishly
So take a couple minutes, nod your head to this groove
Foe-One Nine up in this mother fucka, Black Mic and B-Smooth
Other wise known as the Ebola Monkey Man
B-Smooth is the Profanator, so please understand
We took your ass for a ride for the people to see
How really fucking stupid one scammer can be
And it's a shame take a picture you anus
Because a picture on www.ebolamonkeyman.com can make your Mugu ass famous.

Trash Talk by Ebola Monkey Man (Black Mic):

You fucking retard. The whole world is laughing at your mugu ass for believing we were rappers. All that stupid shit you said. Like "I also believe rap music is a growing venture and as i have explained to your colleagua black mic,i intend to invest part of my funds in your career as long as you can assure me that you guys sing and rap fine," or how about when you said "i know it all went smooth as in( b-smooth." That shit is so retarded, it's funny. How about when you forgot your fake name Mugu? Called yourself a muslim name. You are so stupid, you couldn't even keep your name straight. I can pull a Nigerian scam better then you can. Ha, Ha, Ha HA HAAAAAAAA MUGU.

Trash Talk by The Profanator (B-Smooth): That bitch Kingsley actually thinks we did not know he was a scammer from Nigeria. Well, if that bitch feels bad now, wait till he sees his name on the website. Shit, dumbass, you ain't even had Mic talk shit about you in this rhyme! Black Mic, rise up and kill this bitch. FOE-ONE NINE KICKING YOUR STUPID MUGU ASS!!!

DIE MUGU, DIE!

Just fucking with you Mugu, I don't really want you dead. That's just a metaphor. Say something coward.

Black Mic AKA EBOLA MONKEY MAN

Ebola Monkey Note: Unfortunately, I think cat has the good doctor's tongue.

PROFILER NOTES:

Here we have a scammer that is slightly above average (definitely had reasonable formal education), he/she tries to keep cool even when addressed in vulgar language and has extensive documentation to back the story, one with an obviously decent command of English (except from some mistakes with pleural forms and tenses) however he/she is not just any lowlife scammer and I will not be surprised if he/she has been successful a couple of times in the past. Notice that I am suggesting that this scammer might be female, this is highly probable from, the refusal to send a picture and the way the mails are patiently replied and gentle convincing which is characteristic of a woman pretending to be a man. Another strong pointer to the feminine nature or our scammer is in one of your comments to the readers, where you called the scammer a “good communicator”, now think hard who are the best communicators. Also notice that the scammer repeatedly stresses the point that the “funds will be in your possession for a long period” and he/she is willing to trust you with the funds till a trip abroad is possible, this is a good strategy to convince you to also reciprocate the trust, it is also a trap to snare the greediest of people who might get blinded with the greedy thought of just eloping with the whole sum.

Much to my surprise came the name mix up just when I was really beginning to get impressed with the whole plot, this happens because these scammers write hundreds of mails daily all with different names. The rather poor explanation for the mix up has totally ruined the plot. The scammers refusal to reply after confrontation and avoidance of conflicts is another female trait.

Now, let me summarize the picture on the Nigerian end, we have an above average scammer almost definitely a woman who has good documentation and reasonable command of English. I am sure that if she tries this out with enough people she will one day achieve her aim with some greedy victim.

Overall, this scammer scores 6 out of 10 on the profilers score sheet.

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