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Original Message

DEAR,

I AM JOHN CHUK.THE ONLY CHILD OF LATE MR AND MRS.PETER CHUK.MY FATHER WAS A VERY WEALTHY COCOA MERCHANT BASED IN ABIDJAN, THE ECONOMIC CAPITAL OF IVORY COAST BEFORE HE WAS POISONED TO DEATH BY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES ON ONE OF THEIR OUTING TO DISCUSS ON A BUSINESS.

WHEN MY MOTHER DIED ON THE 21ST OCTOBER 1984, MY FATHER TOOK ME SO SPECIAL BECAUSE I AM MOTHERLESS.

BEFORE THE DEATH OF MY FATHER ON 29TH JUNE 2001 IN A PRIVATE HOSPITAL HERE IN ABIDJAN. HE SECRETLY CALLED ME ON HIS BEDSIDE AND TOLD ME THAT HE HAS A SUM OF US$ 16,500,000 (SIXTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND, UNITED STATES DOLLARS) LEFT IN A SUSPENCE ACCOUNT IN A LOCAL BANK HERE IN ABIDJAN, THAT HE USED MY NAME AS HIS ONLY SON FOR THE NEXT OF KIN IN DEPOSIT OF THE FUND. HE ALSO EXPLAINED TO ME THAT IT WAS BECAUSE OF
THIS WEALTH THAT HE WAS POISONED BY HIS BUSINESS ASSOCIATES. THAT I SHOULD SEEK FOR A FOREIGN PARTNER IN A COUNTRY OF MY CHOICE WHERE I WILL TRANSFER THIS MONEY AND USE IT FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSE, (SUCH AS REAL ESTATE MANAGEMENT).


SIR, I AM HONOURABLY SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE FOLLOWING WAYS.

1)TO PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THIS MONEY WOULD BE TRANSFERRED TO
2)TO SERVE AS THE GUARDIAN OF THIS FUND SINCE I AM A BOY OF 21 YEARS
3)TO MAKE ARRANGEMENT FOR ME TO COME OVER TO YOUR COUNTRY AFTER THE MONEY HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED.

MOREOVER, SIR, I AM WILLING TO OFFER YOU 15% OF THE TOTAL SUM AS COMPENSATION FOR YOUR EFFORT/INPUT AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER OF THIS FUND TO YOUR NORMINATED ACCOUNT OVERSEAS.

ANTICAIPTING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS
JOHN CHUK

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/5

John,

My name is Brian Steinburg and I am in reciept of your letter. I am interested in helping you if it was intended for me. I'm sorry hear about the death of your parents.

Please let me know.

Brian Steinburg

PS - How did you get my email? Are you a fan of my music?

From John Chuck to Big Sexy, 11/6

Dear brother Brian.

I received your email with thanks. I got your contact from the internat and I choosed you, because I beleive in my heart that you will not cheat me or sit on my money after the transaction. That is why I contacted you.

Thank you also for your acceptance to assist me to get the money my late father deposited with Bank of Africa in their suspence account. I contacted you to be my Guardian so that you will look after me and help to look for a better investment, so that I can invest wisely when the money transfered to you.

Everthing I told you about this money is real and legal, I have surferred alot since my father died. I dont have any body to look after me, but I have some hopeless ones who want to kill me too and have the money to enrich themselves. That is why I don't want to have the money invested here or to leave here any more.

I contacted you to please do this following thing for me, to help and make sure that this money will be smoothly transfered into your account, you will also help to source for a nice investment where you will invest and manage the money for me. You will make arrangement for me to come over to your country to continue my studies. I will give you the 15% of the total money while the rest will be in invest and manage by you.

You have to keep this confidential and no other body should know about this. till the money is transferred to you and you bring me up to your country. Please promise me that you are not going to change you mind if the money is transfered to you, because this is the highest risk I am taken in my life.

Please call me immediately you receive this email, so that we will discuss fine, that will also give me more confidence in you, but I will be very glad if you can come down here in Cote d Ivoire, to see things your self, because seeing is beleiving and also afford us the opportunity to see each other physically.

I am awaiting for your urgent call +225 05 02 59 30.

sincerely
John Chuk

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/6

Dear John,

Oh, OK. That's interesting. I thought maybe you were a fan of Three Times One Minus One. I'm known as Big Sexy, one half of an R&B group. My partner is Bear Daddy Love. You've probably heard are songs "Ooozing With Love Girl", "Girl! Why Girl?" and "Strokin You All Night Girl, Let's Do This." I was a little taken back at first because a lot of people try to get money
from me because of my celebrity status. I'm sure you know what I mean.

I'm a little concerned about what you said about them hopeless ones who want to kill you. Is this going to put me in any danger? I don't want to be in any type of trouble. I'm an up and coming singer and I have an album dropping next month which will put my face in front of the world. Please assure me that I will be safe if I help you. If not, I don't think this is for me.

I have no problem with the 15% cut. If we continue together, the only person I would need to tell about this deal is Bear Daddy Love as he is not only my partner, but is also my accountant. He handles all business deals for Three Times One Minus One. I won't say anything now but if we work together, I'll have to tell him eventually.

Let me know.

Brian Steinburg (Big Sexy)

From John Chuck to Big Sexy, 11/7

Dear Brian,

i received your email with thanks and i want you to understand that this transaction is risk free. theres no way my enemies can trace me, because they dont know why i am currently, that is reason i said that he have to keep this confidencial, because we dont know who have contacts wit them.

Sir, i will be glad that you send me you telephone and fax numbers, and your bank account information where
you wish the funds to be transferred, so that i will go to the bank and ask the to do the transfer.

I will be awaiting to hear from you, please call me immediately you received this email, so that i will make you to understand every thing about this transaction.

Thank and good day.

sincerely
John chuk

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/7

Dear John,

Please call me by my alias, Big Sexy. That's what everyone calls me. It makes me feel good to know that I will not be in any danger. I think we can proceed on the smooth tip. Go ahead and call me when you get a chance at 877-335-7969. It's best to call me during the day because at night I'm usually performing or chilling with the ladies. I look forward to speaking with you.

Feeling the love,

BS

PS - Do you like R&B music? I should send you one of our CD's. Let me know.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: That 877 number is one of those free messaging services. You only get to keep it for a week. I recorded the following message while having "In Those Jeans" by Ginuwine playing in the background.

"You've reached Big Sexy with Three Times One Minus One. I can't get to my phone right now but if you leave a message, I will call you when I get a chance. Keep feeling the love yall."

Very R&B and very cheesy!

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/10

Dear John,

Did you get my last email? Please respond when you get a chance.

Thanks

Big Sexy

From John Chuck to Big Sexy, 11/11

dear sir.

i received your email, please if you are capable to handle this transaction, just call me on phone so that we will discuss my number is +22505025930.

I am waiting for your urgent call.

thanks
john chuk

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/11

Dear John,

Please, call me Big Sexy or at least Brian. Sir sounds very formal. I am unable to call you from my hand phone as it does not have international long distance. Please call my phone at 877-335-7969 or just email me the details. Email is the best way to get a hold of me as I check it frequently. I usually don't pick up my phone as I am very popular and don't always have time to talk to people. The next couple of days, I will be in the recording studio so go ahead and call me.

Looking forward to getting the details of the transaction,

Big Sexy AKA Brian Steinburg

From John Chuck to Big Sexy, 11/11

Dear Brian Steinburg,

I received your email with thank and i beleive that you are willing/capable to handle this transaction. I will call you soon so that I will speak with you.

I will be advise you to send me your bank account numbers where you wish the funds to be transferred, so that I will visit the bank for the wire transfer. I have consulted an international attorney, who will help to handle and obtain all the neccessary documents from the ministry of justice for the smooth transfer of the fund. I will advise you to contact him and introduce your self to him.

I told him that I have a partner who live in USA, that you are my guardian, that you are assisting me to come up to the USA with my inherritance fund, for investment.

His contacts reads:
Name:Chief Williams Kouadio Esq.
Chambers: Williams & Co Chambers Abj CI
Tel:+225 05 7662 55
fax:+225 05 7662 55

I will be glad that we move with speed so that this transaction will be complete this week, I am hoping to meet you soon in USA.

I am looking forward to hear from you.

Thanks

John Chuk

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/11

Dear John,

Thank you for your email. I look forward to talking to you. You will be getting an email from my business partner/accountant, Bear Daddy Love, who is the other half of Three Times One Minus One. He will send you all the bank account numbers you need. He is also a very good guy. You will like him a lot.

I will email the Chief when I'm done with this letter. I'm very happy the transfer will be smooth. That's what I'm all about. Nice and smooth is the best way to do it.

You never told me if you like R&B music. I still want to send you our CD. Our music is all about the love.

Talk to you soon,

Brian (Big Sexy)

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/11

PS - Does the Cheif have an email address?

From John Chuck to Big Sexy, 11/12

dear brian

thanks for your email, i will be glad that you contact the lawyer, because he has been waiting to hear from you and i am looking forward to received the account information, so that the lawyer will proceed to procure the important documents for the transfer.

i am looking forward to meet you soon. i will be glad that you send me one of your CD so that I listen to your music.

PLease call the attorney on phone, he don't have email address.

thanks you

john

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: What the fuck did I say earlier? I DO NOT HAVE INTERNATIONAL LONG DISTANCE! He's retarded.

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/12

Dear John,

Apparently you misunderstood me before. I don't have International long distance on my phone. Please have the Chief call me at 877-335-7969. For what we will be paying him in the end, I'm sure he won't mind going through the trouble of picking up the phone and calling me. Look forward to seeing the documents. Bear Daddy Love should be contacting you soon with the account numbers.

Talk to you soon,

Brian (Big Sexy)

PS - Bear Daddy Love and I just wrote a new song called "I got love baby, ooozin out both sides girl." Please read it and let me know what you think. We appreciate critics from 3rd parties.

I GOT LOVE BABY, OOOZIN OUT BOTH SIDES GIRL

I got the love baby
and it got everywhere
got that love all over the place
dang you even got some in your hair

Ain't no baby that does it like you
does it for me that is, not for him,
cause you the one that got my love
dribblin all down your chin


(Chorus) I gots the love baby
He gots that love so fine
you know I want ya honey
He gots that love so fine
when I love you, I love in perfect time
He gots that love so fine
Dang, now the love gone oozin' out the sides

Open wide and taste my juices
Read the label, it's called love
500 mg, maybe even more
cuz I'm spraying, on the sofa, in the bed, in the tub

quiiiiiiiiiiick, somebody call an ambulance
my baby done overdosed on my love
it's what I like to call a 9 love love circumstance
as we lay down on the leopard print rug. Yeah girl


(Chorus Repeated)

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: This was our first try at a R&B song. I know it's not as good as some of the raps me and the Profanator penned in the Foe-On Nine scams but what the hell. Even Barry White wrote bad songs from time to time.

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/17

Dear John,

What's happening brother? I never received a call.

Talk to me.

Brain (Big Sexy)

PS - My partner said he will email you today.

From John Chuck to Big Sexy, 11/17

dear brian,

i got your email, i am sorry that i didn't give a call, i tried several times, but the line is not through, it's the network problem, but why can't you call me from your end.

i will be awaiting for your friend email.

thanks

john

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/17

Dear John,

Good to hear from you. I found out that there is a problem with my phone. I called Ameritech today and they said my phone line will be repaired next week. They have scheduled an appointment for the technician to come out. I can't do it any sooner as I am on the road this week performing. Until then, lets just communicate by email to save ourselves the headache. I talked to my partner today and he said he will email you the bank account numbers. Let me know how to proceed. I got to run. I'm in the studio and there are some groupies begging for the love. You get me right?

Brian (Big Sexy)

PS - You never told me what you thought about the song I sent you. Your feedback would be appreciated.

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/22

Hi John,

I'm so excited. I have the greatest news. My record company gave me a huge bonus check because the radio picked up my first single. It's called "Bukkake Love." The song features Black Mic from the famous rap group Foe-On Nine. It's fantastic. I wish you could hear the song. I'm not sure if they will play it on the radio in Africa. Here are the lyrics so you can at least see the song:

BUKKAKE LOVE

There comes I time, when we must head a certain call
When a man and a woman, must cum, together as one
Open wide baby, and take my love juice in your face
I drank pineapple juice to mask the sour taste

(CHORUS)
Bukkake love, come swallow my children
Bukkake love, when your chillin
Bukkake love, yeahhhhhhh, if you love me
Bukkake love, your face looks lovely

Me by myself, or maybe six or seven friends
Bukkake love, a message of love, that's what it sends
If you close your eyes, you get a nice milk suprise
But please try, yeahhhhhhh, and cover your eyes

(CHORUS REPEATED)

(RAP BY BLACK MIC OF FOE-ON NINE)

Bukkake love, it's like one, two, three, foe
Girl get yo funnel, when we walk through da doe
It's just some love juice, it's nothing drastic
Besides girl, you've had mo bones in yo mouth, than Big Sexy's Bullmastif
Is you bleeding? That ain't no thing.
Black Mic and Big Sexy be swinging on yo tampon string
Straight from ya jungle, and into yo mouth
I got my boys B-Smooth and Bear Daddy at the back of the house
Waiting for the signal, to donate to the cause
Cuz with a white creamy beard, you be looking like Claus
Santa that is, bitch you heard me right
Cuz when are loving cums through, it's all Bukkake tonight.
PEACE

Yeah, yeahhhhhhh, oh yeah girl. Bu, buuuu buuu buuu, kkakkkkkkkkkkkeeeeee!

John, this song is going to take us to the next level. How are you doing? How's everything with the transaction? I haven't heard from you.

Talk to me brother,

Brian

From Bear Daddly Love (the Profanator) to John Chuck, 11/25

John Chuck:

We meet at last, playa! My name is Dr. Love, but I am better known as Bear Daddy Love and I sing R&B in Three Times One Minus One, with Big Sexy. Man, Big Sexy (Brian) has been trying to get me in touch with you regarding some kind of transaction. Between you and me and the wetspot, I have been busy with singing, love, and the ladies. You see, Brian and I finished cutting our new album recently, and since then we have not spent a lot of time together.

Anyway, as I am sure Big Sexy told you, I am the business person of the group. Please let me know what this is about and all. Everytime I speak to Big Sexy about it, he is usually drunk on champagne and has at least three or four women at his side. Tell me the details and let me know what you need.

Man, I hear that Big Sexy sent you the lyrics to his new song with that little white rapper dude, Black Mic. He is working on quite a few side projects at the moment. We both know we do our best work together, but to tell the truth, he stole the idea for BUKKAKE LOVE from a song I wrote called DRINK MY KIDS. Anyway, Big Sexy said that he is sending you lyrics so you can give us a unique, African critique. Awwww, whatever, hear is my song, tell me if you like it:


DRINK MY KIDS

(Bear Daddy Love Talking Intro)
Such a perfect evening baby
I took you back to my place
Lit a fire, and poured some cognanc.
It was so sexy to be there with you baby;
your hair, your skin, your love.
Gad damn, sugar...

(verse one)
I need your love, just like you need mine
You know my love with you is in perfect time
to your perfect nubian body just sliding under mine
Gad damn, baby don't drink that chilled white wine
I gots the perfect thing, for a thing as perfect as you
but this drink is just for you, baby, I ain't drinking it too
and when I am ready, I want you saying: "I want it to be his."
That's it baby, come on and drink my kids.


(CHORUS)
Don't miss your chance baby
I'll give you plenty of warning,
it ain't too much to take
So when I stop my balling
take real great care
Cause I'll take perfect aim mizz,
Get ready, hear it comes
come on and drink my kids.

(Repeat)


Every other drink she tries, she just throws away
I offered her a vodka martini, just the other day
You are the finest woman in the whole entire world, dear
but every type of liquid I have tried, you won't even get near
not gin, nor wine, nor juice, but only finest love-piss,
everything else I have tried has never even hit, only missed
I gots a perfect solution to this perfect situation
drink up my kids cause the vas differens be dialatin'

(CHORUS)
Don't miss your chance baby
I'll give you plenty of warning,
it ain't too much to take
So when I stop my balling
take real great care
Cause I'll take perfect aim mizz,
Get ready, hear it comes
come on and drink my kids.

(Repeat)


(Bear Daddy Love talkin outro)
And the best thing about you baby,
is that when we are done you leave real quick
You are a sweetheart,
I love you baby.

There it is John, I would love to know your professional opinion about my song. After all, you talk to Big Sexy about his.

Take care and please be in touch with details about the transaction.

Remember, love so much it hurts, baby!

Bear Daddy Love

P.S. I have enclosed a photograph of myself.

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 11/28

Dear Brother John,

Big Sexy here. What's going on with the transaction?

I'm going to be in South America until Dec. 7th for a benefit concert tour. It's to raise money and awareness for the rights of drug protecting dogs. They have rights too and it's not their fault they are trained to guard drugs.

Anyways playa, drop me or Bear Daddy Love a line. Remember, I'll be gone for a week.

Peace,

Brian

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 12/9

Dear brother John,

What is up? I'm finally back in town and ready to get going. I have some free time so tell me what we need to do.

The tour was crazy. We sang our songs to all kinds of people and rocked the crowed with our smooth harmonies. Yeah. We partied with all kinds of people. When I was in Chicago, I met R. Kelly. We kicked it and went to some High School parties.

Let me know how you are doing and what is up.

Brian (Big Sexy)

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 12/17

John my Nizzy,

Where are you? I have not heard from you in a over two weeks. Are you not serious about this transaction?

Hit a R&B playa up on the 411.

Brian

From Big Sexy to John Chuck, 12/21

John,

You are starting to make me mad with your silence. You don't want to make me mad. Although I'm R&B in my regular life, I get straight hip-hop when I'm angry. Almost like Tupac on his second album or NWA on Straight Out of Compton. I'm sure you understand now. Let me know what is going on.

Brian

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: Unfortunately, this Mugu caught on before Three Times One Minus One could ever get their career off the ground. It's too bad. It would have made a great Behind The Music. Maybe one day there will be a come back tour for Big Sexy and Bear Daddy Love.

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