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EbolaMonkeyNote: Big Lebowski! One of my favorite movies. This is my way of saying "thank you" to the Cohen brothers for that masterpiece.

Original Message

MR CHEUNG PUI
Hang Seng Bank Ltd
Sai Wan Ho Branch
171 Shaukiwan Road
Hong Kong.

Good Day,

Let me start by introducing myself. I am Mr. Cheung Pui director of operations of the Hang Seng Bank Ltd. I have a
obscured business suggestion for you.

Before the U.S and Iraqi war our client Major Fadi Basem who was with the Iraqi forces and also business man made a
numbered fixed deposit for 18 calendar months, with a value of Twenty Four million Five Hundred Thousand United State
Dollars only in my branch. Upon maturity several notice was sent to him, even during the war early this year. Again after the war another notification was sent and still no response came from him. We later find out that the Major and his family had been killed during the war in bomb blast that hit their home.

After further investigation it was also discovered that Major Fadi Basem did not declare any next of kin in his official papers including the paper work of his bank deposit. And he also confided in me the last time he was at my office that no one except me knew of his deposit in my bank. So, Twenty Four millions Five Hundred Thousand United State Dollars is still lying in my bank and no one will ever come forward to claim it. What bothers me most is that according to the to the laws of my country at the expiration 3 years the funds will revert to the ownership of the Hong Kong Government if nobody applies to claim the funds. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I will like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to Major Fadi Basem so that you will be able to receive his funds.

WHAT IS TO BE DONE:

I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we shall come out successful. I have contacted an
attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to Major Fadi Basem , all
that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your Full Names and Address so that the attorney can commence his job. After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also fill in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds to an account that will be provided by you.

There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents. Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue. Once the funds have been transferred to your nominated bank account we shall negotiate our sharing percentage and agreed on it.

Should you be interested please send me your full names and current residential address and I will prefers you to reach me on the email address below (cheupui@primposta.com) and finally after that i shall provide you with more details of this operation.

Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated.

Kind Regards
Mr. Cheung Pui

From Jackie to Cheung,

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/3

Dear Mr. Cheung Pui

My name is Jackie Treehorn. You are probably surprised to get an email from thee Jackie Treehorn. One of my assistants gave me your email and let me tell you, it sounds very interesting. I deal in publishing, entertainment, political advocacy, and-- well, you know. I usually wouldn't touch a deal with this low amount of money but I would hate to see it go to waste. Here
is the information you request.

Jackie Treehorn
464 N. Rexford Drive Beverly Hills, California 90210

I would like to hear more information on what you have to offer. I also request that you do not let anyone else know that I am even having this discussion with you until it is clear that we can work together.

Looking forward to your response,

Jackie Treehorn

EbolaMonkeyNote: That's the Beverly Hills Police department address.

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/4

Dear Jackie,

Thank you very much for your response, and your interest in this transaction, I am also glad to note that you are noble and trustworthy person whom I can rely on for your capabilities to handle this transaction and concerning you being the next of kin to the late Major,Anybody can be the next of kin in law and it is the document that will back you up which my attorney will process over here.

Like I said before,due to this issue on my hands now,it became necessary for me to seek your assistance, I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project,and also you will help me in investing my money in your country, I am quite certain about that. You should not have anything to worry about, I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking, you have my word.

Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that, it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If you work seriously,the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days.

READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME:

Firstly, what do you do for a living and how old are you? you should note that this project is highly capital intensive, this is why I have to be very careful, I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before,but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project. your only financial obligation is to open and activate your account in the bank that i will send to you.

I am now finding a foreign online bank, I now intend that you open an account in your name in this foreign bank.The money would be transfered to your account which you will open in the bank for both of us, this is the best way,I have found,it will protect us from my bank. I want us to enjoy this money in peace when we conclude,so you should listen to my instructions and follow them religiously. Also You have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name as my bank will be aware that it is from me, this is where I need you.

As result of this,you will have to open an account in the corresponding bank. I will obtain a certificate of deposit from this
my bank,it will be issued in your name, this will make you the bonafide owner of the funds. After this,the money will be banked online for both of us. We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the transaction the legal right.

Before I commence,I will need you to send me a copy of any form your identification (Driver's licence or International passport) I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person. As soon as I get these from you,I will commence the paper work. I hope you will understand why I need all these, the money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project, I will also send you my work ID upon receipt of your identification.

I will send the name and contact details of the bank and their website to you so that you can commence communication with them.Our local telephones lines could be intercepted easily,so they are not safe for the project.This is why I have installed a more private communication which is through this email box.I will want us to estaliblish a code which both of us will always use when writing eamils to each other. please you can tell me what u want to be the code in your email. Ensure that you keep this project confidential, do not discuss it with anybody because of the confidential nature of this project and my work

Please reply soonest.

sincerely,

Cheung Pui

EbolaMonkeyNote: Ummmm, yeah Pui, you already said that.

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/4

Dear Pui Cheung,

I have read your email and understand. To let you know. I am Jackie Treehorn. Yes, thee Jackie Treehorn. I work in the entertainment industry, mainly as a producer. I'm sure you have seen atleast one of my movies at one time. For example, Log Jammin with Karl Hungus and Bunny La Joya. That was my film. I know what you are thinking. Regrettably, it's true,
standards have fallen in adult entertainment. It's video, Pui Cheung. Now that we're competing with the amateurs, we can't afford to invest that little extra in story, production value, feeling. Of course, you do get the good with the bad. The new technology permits us to do exciting things with interactive erotic software. Wave of the future, Pui. 100% electronic. I
can see you're anxious for me to get to the point. Well Pui, here is the information you wanted:

I am 39 years old. I stand 5'9" and weigh 185 lbs. I am very business minded. My hobbies are surfing and light jogging. I'm a Libra. I assume you will tell me some things about yourself as well since I have been so generous with my personal information. Am I correct in this thinking, Pui?

I trust that you will not let anyone know you are working with me and I agree, comunication through email is the safest.

I will be traveling until Friday with limited comunication. Please get back to me with any questions. If you or any associates would like an autograph, just let me know.

Talk to you soon,

Jackie Treehorn

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/6

Dear Jackie,

i received your email and your info, quiet interesting i must confess but i need you to send me a scanned copy of any form of identification so that we can proceed.

meanwhile, i am 50yrs of age and a happy married man with wonderful and lovely family. i will forward my family pictures to you in my next email. i need you to send your id to me immediately before you travell and remember we are working under time.

sincerely,

Cheung Pui

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/11

Pui,

As I told you, I am away until next Monday. I can only send you a copy of my passport if I am at my office, where my scanner is.

Until I return, I can not send you anything that you need a picture of.

If you would like, I can give you the info on both my passport and California drivers license.

If not, you will have to wait.

Thanks

Jackie Treehorn

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/12

Dear Jackie,

i understand your email and i need you to send me your infos in your passport and ID so that we can start work with the info and as soon as you come back, you will scanned and send it to me as requested immediately.

pls let me know and update me as soon as posible.


sincerely,

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/12

OK, here is the information on my passport:

Surename: Treehorn
Given Name: Jackie
Nationality: USA
Born: Oct. 14, 1965
Place of Birth: New Jersey
Expiration: Jan. 05
Passport Number: 036166798

As I have said three times already, I will not be able to give you a scanned copy until I return to my office. That will be on next Tuesday. Please make a mental note of that.

Talk to you soon,

Jackie Treehorn
" I put the tree in horn!"

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/13

Dear Jackie,

Thank you very much, i am in receipt of your ID infomation, find attached to this email a scanned copy of my work ID and the deposit certificate which was issued when the funds was deposited in my bank.

What we need to do now is get this funds out and i am working seriously and i believe the trust and commitment we both have, we'll be able to conclude this funds transfer project before the end of the week.Endeavour to do everything well from your own end so that we can conclude this project immediately.My Attorney has handled the entire documemtations,he was responsible for drafting and notarization of the Afidavits which already has you in place as next of kin. He has handle
all matters of probate on your behalf, hence you would not have to be here physically, and you will not be required to be in Court.

As a matter of fact i have taken care of the cost of running all the logistics involved on my side of this project, such as the cost of retaining the services of the Attorney and obtaining the necessary official documents from the Hong Kong authorities, including other miscellaneous expenses which I have incur to ensure a hitch free transfer, certain beaks have to be watered in a project like this.Like i said in my previous email,5% of the total sum mapped aside shall be used to settle all expanses incurred from both parties during this Project as a form of reimbursement. As a result of this you are advised to keep records of any expanses you incur no matter the amount, i am keeping records of my expences,we will deduct it from the 5% during the overall calculation. like i told you in my previous email, your only financial obligation is to open and activate your account with the UK Bank.

i am takening care of the expenses on my side but it is necessary for me to let you know that we will work together as partners and as one so that we conclude this project before the Bank consificate the funds and move it into the Bank's purse. as soon as you open and activate your account with this online Bank in UK,I will immediately make the transfer from my Bank to your account in the UK Bank. i do not want any complications,this are some of the reason we making use of this bank in the UK.

i am sending you the website of the bank so you can browse it and apply, fill the form and open an offshore/on-line account. i advice you that you open an account via online With the bank and make sure your account is activated and ready to receive our funds so that once the funds are released, they will be moved Straight into your account and the transfer will not attract the Monetary bodies, because the transfer will be seen as in-house.(Same telex type with my Bank).You can then transfer our funds in safe bits to your home (main) account for both of us.Please find below the banks website.

Anglo Trust Bank UK.
http:www.anglotrustbanks.com

Please do this and get back to me immediately.

Sincerely,

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/17

Pui,

I just got back from my trip and sat down to check my messages and mail. Excellent. I took a quick look at the website. I have also reviewed the certificate and I know it is real. I will open an acount later today. I will email you when I am done. I have an appointment that I must rush to today for a casting.

Thank you for the picture. You look exactly like I expected. Very professional. Has anyone ever told you that you look like Mr. Miyagi?

Also, you did say you were from China right? I may need a favor from you.

Talk to you soon,

Jackie Treehorn
" It's not a tree, without the horn"

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/17

Dear Jackie,

pls do this immediately because we need to conclude our project before the end of the week, fill the form and open your account online without delay.

i await your confirmation.

sincerely,

Brother Cheung

" It's not a tree, without the horn"

EbolaMonkeyNote: He used the " It's not a tree, without the horn" to end his email. RIGHT ON! So I filled out the application at the fake bank website and put the Malibu Police Departments address for Treehorn Productions and the Beverly Hills Cheif of Police address for Jackie's home.

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/17

Cheung,

Jackie Treehorn here. I just wanted to let you know that I applied for a bank acount like you instructed. I will wait to here back from the bank. I am attaching a photo of me and my body guards so you know what I look like. This was taken at a press junket. The man on my right, Paul North (brother of the famous Peter North), and the gentleman on my left is Kun Pow. They are good men and known around town as the Carpet Pissers.

You never answered my questions from a couple emails ago. Why not?

Jackie Treehorn

"Horns blow, as do Trees"


From Steven Walker to Jackie, 5/18

Subject : ACCOUNT OPENING IN PROCESS

Dear Sir,

On behalf of the management of Anglo Trust Bank, we acknowledge the receipt of your account opening form.

Your account opening is being processed at the momemt and you will be duely informed by the account department of your account access particulars within 48 hours.

Yours sincerely,

Steven Walker
Customer Service Dept

From Ian Smith to Jackie, 5/19

ATTN: Jackie Treehorn

Dear Sir,

Further to your application of operating a bank account with this bank, Anglo trust bank will like to inform you that an account has been opened in your favor and the details of your account is stated below and all you have to do is log on to our website and log into the account holder (home page) and input your access information stated below.

ACCOUNT NAME: Jackie Treehorn
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 108670424805
ACCOUNT PIN: 242804

It is imperative that we caution you on the importance of the security of your temporary account. Under no circumstances should your account Pin number be shared with anyone other than your self for we have an automated online system that will obey your instructions after acceptance of your pin.

Sir, please adhere strictly with the aforementioned caution, as Anglo trust bank will not be liable for any mis-direction or unauthorized access into your account.

For you to be able to transfer any funds deposit into your account, you will need to activate your account with this bank, we will like to educate you on the different kind of accounts that is operational in this bank and also the requirements for activation depending on your choice and regional location.

1) Temporary account: This account can be operated locally and from overseas or receiving and transferring funds at once without the full privileges of a normal regular account which means that you will not be open to 90% of our banking facilities but only to receive funds from any part of the world and also you can transfer funds to any part of the world with just a single transaction. The requirements to activate this kind of account after application online is payment to this bank of an activation fee of £4,200 only. Please contact the accounts department for advice on payment of activation fees and activation of account.

2) Regular/permanent account: This can only be operated locally and enjoys 100% of the banking facilities that we render. The
requirements to activate this kind of account after online registration are stated below.
- Form of identification (international passport/Drivers license)
- All relevant information of your residence locally.
- An evidence of local utility service payment (any Govt. utility receipt)
- Evidence of personal income tax payment receipt.
- If corporate, necessary registration documentation
- Physical presence at the premises of this bank to endorse a signature card
- Two completed reference form obtainable online or at the premises of this bank.
- Four-colored passport photograph
- Activation/ initial deposit of a minimum of £7,000 only.
Please contact the accounts department for advice on payment of activation fees and activation of account.

3) Domiciliary account: Enjoys the full service of this bank and can be operated overseas
- form of identification (international passport/Drivers license)
- All relevant information of your residence locally/abroad.
- An evidence of local utility service payment (any Gov.utility payment receipt)
- Evidence of personal/company income tax payment receipt.
- If corporate, necessary registration documentation
- Physical presence at the premises of this bank to endorse a signature card
- Two completed reference form obtainable online or at the premises of this bank.
- Four colored passport photographs
- Activation/ initial deposit of a minimum of £50,000 only

4) Vaulting account:
- Form of identification (international passport/Drivers license)
- All relevant information of your residence.
- An evidence of local utility service payment (any Gov.utility payment receipt)
- Evidence of personal income tax payment receipt.
- If corporate, necessary registration documentation
- Physical presence at the premises of this bank to endorse a signature card
- Two completed reference form obtainable online or at the premises of this bank.
- Four-colored passport photograph
- with a minimum activation fee of £10,000 only.

Sir, we presume that you are properly enlightened with the International banking regulations pertaining to all banks ensuring
that all account holders and funds in their possession with the intent to transfer should have a proper "Due Diligence Check”. On this note our legal department will carry out the procedure that is needed to acquire an acceptable status for the clarification of your funds with this bank in the future. And if you do not know what "Due Diligence" is all about please go online and note enquires of the aspect of “Due Diligence”. We have stated below a list of strings that you may get proper knowledge

www.marcosbillions.com/marcos/2001%20May%20swiss_regulators_want_tough er_du.htm
www.lafferty.co.uk/newsletters/allnews.shtml
www.ababj.com/frontlines.htmlwww.jerseyfsc.org/generalinfo/publicspeech_regulators.html
www.bba.org.uk/public/newsroom/35451/5708?version=1

Finally, upon opening of your account in this bank please note that you will have to activate your account, so be advised to choose from the different kind of account operation open to you and respond accordingly to the requirements to facilitate the activation of your choice of account aforementioned.

As previously advised, please contact your accounts officer immediately you have read this mail on +44 208 485 8490 so he can educate you on how to make the requirements available to this bank.

Congratulations and welcome to Anglo trust bank.

Thank you for your patronage.

Ian Smith

ians@anglotrustbanks.com
Accounts Department
accounts@anglotrustbanks.com
ANGLO TRUST BANK

EbolaMonkeyNote: I forwarded this email to Pui with the following message.

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/19

Dear Pui,

It's on. It's so on. They confirmed my acount. What do we do next?

Jackie Treehorn
"Jeez Trees, look at all these big baby horns"

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/20

Dear Jackie,

i received your account access particulars and i must commend your efforts, thank you very much and i sincerely appreciate all you have done, without you, we won't have gone this far.

our funds will be approved by monday and i need you right now to call the UK Bank and email them right away and activate your account without delay. pls do that because we are under time and as soon as you hear from the UK Bank and gets a confirmation from them, let me know immediately and update.

i need you to act very fast and accordingly without delay.

sincerely,

Brother Cheung.

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/20

Pui,

Sounds good. I'll handle the bank. Just don't mess this up. I'm a control freak and I like things to be done properly and right.

I need a favor from you if you wouldn't mind. A man of your stature showed be able to pull some strings for me. I'm going to be filming a new movie called China Dolls - Me Luv You Long Time Part 1. Obviously we are going for an Asian culture theme. Anyway, do you think you could possibly get me a Panda Bear from your country? We would like to use one in the movie. Unfortunately, there is an American law that will not let you film with an endangered animal or we would just get one here. I know your country is a little more lenient on animal laws. I know you eat dogs and manatees there so I'm sure smuggling a Panda Bear out of the country is no big deal. Any help you could give me would be great. Also, just wondering if you would happen to know how to get a hold of Jackie Chan for a cameo appearance in the movie.

Please get back to me ASAP. Consider the bank taken care of.

Thanks

Jackie Treehorn
" Climbing trees is like blowing horns"

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/21

Dear Jackie,

"Climbing trees is like blowing horns"

i receive your email and will proceed to make investgation on your request although i cannot promise you anything because my interest is in another area.

pls call the UK Bank and activate your account without delay because our project is very important and we are under time.

pls treat as urgent and get back to me asap.

sincerely,

Brother Cheung

EbolaMonkeyNote: You mean you can't promise me a Panda and Jackie Chan????? So you're saying there's a chance!

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/21

Dear Brother Cheung,

I understand how urgent it is. I was trying to activate my account yesterday and the bank's website was not properly functioning. I'm going to try again today but I'm pressed for time. Anyway, my question to you is who is going to put up the money for activation? Please get back to me so we don't waste time. If we go the cheapest route, I have to go to the back in person. I might have to talk to my accountant. We shall see.

Also, thanks for helping me with this Panda Bear thing. I understand that it is not your area of expertise but I do appreciate the effort. By the way, if you can't get me Jackie Chan's number, I can live with Jet Li's. He's not as charming as Jackie but is athletically equal.

Write back quickly,

Jackie Treehorn
"Hree Thorn is a confused Tree Horn"

EbolaMonkeyNote: Ohhhh, I think I softly brushed by a nerve. I love the way he takes my stupid quotes and starts his replies with him.

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/21

Dear Jackie,

"Hree Thorn is a confused Tree Horn"

who told you that all these actors you are mentioning are in Hong Kong? well like i told you in my previous email, that is not my area of expertise and interest so i am the very wrong person to ask for those info meanwhile, your only financial obligation in our project is to open and activate your temporary account in the UK Bank, it is an online Banking system so you can handle everything from your computer. i need you right now to Call the UK Bank and get them to activate your
account without delay. PLEASE CALL THE UK BANK IMMEDIATELY.

my best,

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/21

Dear Pui,

We have a problem here. Everytime I try to log in with my account information, I receive this message:

"Invalid Access Codes !!! Please try again."

Please try for yourself. Here is my account info:

ACCOUNT NAME: Jackie Treehorn
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 108670424805
ACCOUNT PIN: 242804

As I mentioned before, I do not want to use my phone in regards to this business. Please understand that I am Jackie Treehorn. That's right, Jackie Treehorn. If someone were to tape or tap my conversation, I would be in serious trouble. Please tell me how to continue online or if I need to send something by mail. I have no problem with mail because I could always deny that I wrote something if it lands in the wrong hands. My account handles all my financial issues. His name is Jeffrey Lebowski. We run a lot of our money through his charity, The Little Lebowski Urban Achievers. What I'm saying is that we have ways of cleaning things. I'm going to walk over to his office right now as it's the Shabbos. That means that I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't ride in a car, I don't handle money, and I don't turn on the oven.

In regards to my requests, just be a good partner and work on at least getting me the Panda Bear. I've been told that your country is not that big of a place so I assumed you would know, or at least know somebody who has connections to Jackie Chan or Jet Li.

Talk to you soon,

Jackie Treehorn
"Won't you take me to, Treehorn town, won't you take me to, Treehorn town."

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/24

Dear Jackie,

i cannot handle your account, CALL THE UK BANK AND NOTIFY THEM OF THE PROBLEMS YOU ARE FACING AND AT SAME TIME, WRITE AND SEND THEM AN EMAIL TO ACT VERY FAST WITHOUT DELAY MEANWHILE, I NEED YOU TO ALSO ACTIVATE YOUR ACCOUNT TO ENABLE EFFECT OUR TRANSFER IMMEDIATELY WHICH HAS BEEN APPROVED.

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Ian Smith, 5/24

Ian,

Why am I not able to log on to your site to activate my account? Please give me instructions in regular English using bulletpoints such as numbers or letters. I would like to handle this all online because I'm short on time.

Thanks,

Jackie Treehorn

EbolaMonkeyNote: The subject of the next email read "Panda Bear."

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/24

Dear Jackie,

i have already reached my cousin who promise to do his findings about the Panda Bear and get back to me by thursday. so i hope to give you a very good news on thursday. how far about your account? did you call the UK Bank? pls contact and resolve the problem you are experiencing and also get them to advise you on how you will activate your account
and do that right away without delay. i need us to conclude our entire project before the end of the week, pls act fast and resolve this situation.

i await your email and confirmation.

sincerely,

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/24

Dear Pui,

I have good news my friend. I contacted Ian Smith today about my problem with logging on. Hopefully, we will have this problem solved within 24 hours. Then we can proceed as planned. This will be fixed soon or the Anglo bank will have hell to pay. I will notify my lawyer, Walter Sobchak, if they do not cooperate. He fought in Vietnam and truly is one of the few people on this earth that still cares about the rules. I will email the minute I hear back from Ian.

Thank you for talking to your cousin about the Panda Bear. He will be a nice addition to the movie. Not to sound picky, but if he can get me one that is chubby with big paws, that would be great.

Tell me a little bit more about yourself Pui. I'm very amused by Asian culture. What was Bruce Lee like? How does Opium feel? What tastes better, Yorkies or Shitzus? Do people in China look at Mr. Miyagi as a sell-out for befriending Ralph Macchio? Your people have a great work ethic.Plus you make great steamed dumplings. They are to die for. Also, think about this; Before the Taliban, the Chinese were the only ones who ever pulled off an attack on America. You got us good my friend at Pear Harbor.

Well, I must run. It appears that Bunny Lebowski, she played Bunny La Joya in Log Jammin, has decided to run off with a rather sizable debt to me. I have a meeting with the Carpet Pissers.

Talk to you very soon,

Jackie Treehorn

"Like a moth to a flame, burned by the Treehorn"

EbolaMonkeyMan: If he actually responds to this email, he's retarded. Not only have I been culturally insensitive, I've also mixed two different cultures. I spent some time in Singapore when I was younger, and you wouldn't believe how many Americans actually said stuff like this when I returned. It should be interesting to see how Pui does with it.

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/25

Dear Jackie,

thank you very much for your email, pls contact the UK BANK AND ACTIVATE YOUR ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY, OUR FUNDS ARE READY AND HAVE BEEN APPROVED FOR IMMEDIATELY TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT IN UK BANK.

sincerely,

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/25

Dear Pui,

I told you that I already contacted the bank. I am waiting for a response from a Mr. Ian Smith. I will contact you the minute I hear from them.

I feel like you aren't reading my emails. You didn't answer one of my questions. That is plain rude if you ask me. Maybe in China, it's not custom to develop a relationship based on trust and friendship but here in the US, it's completely different. There's an old expression here in the states that goes "sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you." I suggest you learn it, live it, and love it.

I will resubmit my questions to you.

What was Bruce Lee like?

How does Opium feel?

What tastes better, Yorkies or Shitzus?

Do people in China look at Mr. Miyagi as a sell-out for befriending Ralph Macchio?

One of the reasons I am asking you about Chinese culture is that my 11 year old daughter is doing a report on it for her social studies class.

I await your response,

Jackie Treehorn
" Tree Horny, horny----- horny, horny, horny"

From Cheung to Jackie, 5/31

Dear Jackie,

what is the situation and status of your account in the UK BANK? our funds have been ready for immediate transfer to your account in the UK Bank and yet no word from you regarding the activation and confirmation whether it can receive our funds when the transfer is made. pls let me know immediately because time is no longer on our side.

about your Panda Bear, my cousin said his friend in UK said he could arrange through the Panda Bear for us but it will cost us some money.

i await your urgent email and confirmation.

sincerely,

Brother Cheung

From Jackie to Cheung, 5/31

Dear Brother Cheung,

Good to talk to you my friend. The status with the account is that I can not get any help from the bank. I have emailed Ian Smith two times already without one response. I have also tried calling but the number does not work. I will email them again today. Sorry for the delay. I am worried about this bank's customer service. If they can't respond to a simple question, then what will we do when we are moving large amounts of dead presidents? Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you for the help with the Panda Bear. Please let me know what we need to do to get this going. I really want that Panda Bear. Damn I want him. Money will not be an issue.

Not to sound annoying Pui, but you never answered my questions. Why?

Talk to you soon,

Jackie Treehorn
" Jackie, give it to me in the Treehorn"

From Jackie to Anglo Bank Customer Service Email, 5/31

Please help me. I am Jackie Treehorn. Yes, Jackie Treehorn. I am unable to log onto my account to activate it online. Why?

THIS IS THE 3rd TIME I HAVE WRITTEN.

Jackie Treehorn

From Ian Smith to Jackie, 6/1

Attn: Jackie Treehorn

Dear Sir,

Further to your last mail to this office, we will like to refer you to our last correspondence indication clearly the terms of activating an account with this bank. With reference to your suggestion of this bank receiving funds paid with the intention of crediting your account and deducting the required funds for activating your account from the funds you are expecting into this account will not be possible because you have a zero balance and the intended funds can not credit your account making it imperatively important that you activate your account first.

Please be cautioned that activating your account is very important and at this stage, if you intend to transfer any funds into your
dormant account, it will be automatically returned due to its inactive state. Further to your request for activation of your
account as a temporary account, we will advice that you make the activation requirements available to this bank immediately as we previously advise. it is important that you activate your account before any funds can be received by your account and at this present time, your account is dormant with a zero balance making it impossible to receive any funds into your account. Please advise on your readiness to make the activation fee available to this department so that we can advise you appropriately on how to send the required funds to us.

Ian Smith

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/2

Dear Brother Jackie,

my cousin'd friend said he needs you to wire 2,200GBP to him in uk through western union so that he can used the money to process the necessary arrangments for the Panda Bear, that as soon as he finishes, he will tell the cost of the Panda Bear but first, he needs 2,200GBP to run around and settle the people to get the Panda Bear immediately.

meanwhile, what is the status of your account in the UK Bank? why are you treating me and our project with so much disdain? why? we need to transfer our funds out of my Bank before the end of the week because we don't, my Bank will consificate the funds and converts it to the Bank's Purse which is my Bank's policy for unclamied funds so pls move fast, email the UK BANK, send them fax and at same time, call them and get them to advise you on how to activate your account immediately.

update me as soon as you hear from the UK Bank.

worried,

Brother Cheung

EbolaMonkeyNote: 2,200 GBP's to run around and settle the people to get the Panda Bear? What a deal!

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/2

Pui,

I received an email from Ian Smith at the bank. Not good news. They claim that I am unable to activate the account online and that it is going to cost me a minimum of £4,200. That is very expensive to open up an bank account. I can walk across the street and open an bank account with less than $25. Check out www.wellsfargo.com or www.chase.com. I can open an account that will be activated immediately for free. Then we can just transfer the money without a fee. This way, I can hold on to the money and put it towards the Panda Bear to speed up the process. To have and make money, you have to know how to balance and move it. That is my expertise. By the way, what is the conversion of GBP's to dollars? Let me know what you think about using one of my banks so we don't get hit with such a ridiculous fee. Anglo Bank seems to be a very bush league outfit.

Speaking of the Panda Bear, I have an idea. There is a law known as the "charitable cause" law. The law states that you can get a double tax write-off if you purchase what is defined as a wild animal for a charitable cause. So if I donate the bear after I'm done with him to an organization like Children United Nationally Together or Habitat For The Manatees, I not only get to deduct it off the movie production taxes, but also off my personal taxes. This translates to about a $20,000 deduction for me. For me, all I really need the bear for is about two scenes in "China Dolls - Me Luv You Long Time Part 1", then I can donate the thing. I've already applied for a license to bring the bear in for the charitable donation. The only problem is that you have to be very thorough in proving that upon original purchase of the bear, my intentions where to donate it. For the application form to be complete, I need a picture of you or your cousin holding a sign that says the following:

"Panda Bear - Me Luv You Long Time - A Jackie Treehorn Production"

If you can do this for me, I will wire you or your cousin the $10,000 on top of the 2,200GBP immediately. Just give me Western Union information when you send me the picture. My accountant won't release the money until he has the picture. He has trust issues but you really can blame him.

As far as my disdain for you, this aggression will not stand. I just get frustrated when you don't answer my questions. Imagine if I didn't answer your questions. I know nothing about you or your country and we are supposed to be partners.

I will await your advice on the bank and the picture for my accountant.

Thanks

Jackie Treehorn
"A Jackie Treehorn Production, can't beat that"

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/7

Dear Pui,

Just wanted to touch base with you. My accountant and I are awaiting a response.

Jackie Treehorn

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/11

PUI,

Where are you? I'm waiting for the response. Please don't screw this whole thing up by dying or getting arrested.

jackie treehorn

EbolaMonkeyNote: I think we lost him. I'll give him a couple of more days. Then I'll write him again...and again...and again...then again...and another one.... You get the point.

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/14

Pui,

You better answer me boy. I like you. Don't make me send the carpet pissers over to China and bitch slap you around. That's right, I said BITCH SLAP you around.

Your silence is annoying me. Which reminds me of a joke:

If a Pui Cheung were to fall down and no one was around, would he make a sound?

What do you think of this joke?

Answer me now boy and get me my friggin Panda Bear.

Jackie Treehorn

"J to the Jackizzle, T to the Treezorn, fo shizzle my nizzle"

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/15

Pui you little bitch. Answer me or I'll go over to China and pull your ovaries out you sexy woman you.

Don't be afraid of me. OOOOHHHHH. What's that smell. Your cologne. It smells like

PUSSY ASS COWARD by Calvin Klien.

Jackie Treehorn

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/17

Hi my little retarded Scammer,

Where are you? Why won't you answer me coward?

Look, I know you were trying to scam me. You were close. Well, not really. Anyway, I'm writing to say that I forgive you. You see, it's not your fault. In all honesty, your mother should have aborted you before you could cause damage to innocent people. It's her fault. She wasn't smart enough to kill you.

You never answered me.

If a Pui Cheung were to fall down and no one was around, would he make a sound?

Write back bitch,

Jackie Treehorn

Ebola Monkey Note: Hopefully that should get a response out of him.

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/18

animal

Ebola Monkey Note: Like clockwork!

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/17

Pui,

How am I an animal? You tried to scam me. You are the animal. You are also a their. YOU ARE A THEIFANIMAL! That's a combination of a theif and animal by the way.

Here's the other thing. You are not a very good scammer. You have to be really smart to do it, and you are kind of stupid. I mean, you kind of have to agree.j

By the way, you never answered me about the joke:

If a Pui Cheung were to fall down and no one was around, would he make a sound?

Answer boy!

Jackie

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/20

Hi Pui (or whatever your real name is),

Listen, I was banging your mom last night and while in the doggy style position, I got to thinking about my joke. You know, this one:

"If a Pui Cheung were to fall down and no one was around, would he make a sound?"

Well, the truth is, if you fell down and nobody way around to hear it, nobody would really give shit anyway. See, nobody cares about fucking loser scammers. Especially ones that are cowards who can only send one word replies.

You are also one of the dumbest scammers I've seen. How could you even humor the Panda Bear request? That's just fucking strange.

Anyway, I just want you to know that everyone is laughing at you. Since I posted your emails to my website, I've gotten hundreds of letters from fans talking about how stupid you are. Check it out:

www.ebolamonkeyman.com/cheung.htm

Please do the world a favor and kill yourself,

Ebola Monkey Man

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/22

To my big China girl,

How's the scamming going? Bad I'm sure. Any chance of you committing suicide soon?

My readers are getting restless (restless restless).

Let me know ASAP,

Ebola Monkey Man

Ebola Monkey Note: RESTLESS RESTLESS - All you Howard Stern fans are smiling.

From Jackie to Cheung, 6/22

SUBJECT: Serious email.

Hi Pui Cheung,

It's the Ebola Monkey Man. Just wanted to see how the scamming is going and let you know that you are still not fooling anyone. Oh, and everyone is STILL laughing at you. Anyway, would you mind doing a questionnaire for me? I figure that's the least you could do for trying to steal my money. Please answer the following questions:


1. Have you ever actually scammed someone successfully?

2. How long have you been scamming?

3. Do you pee sitting down?

4. When you read your scam on my site, what types of emotions did you experience?

5. Who is buried in Grant's tomb?

6. What else do you do when you are not trying to steal money?

7. What country and city are you really from?

8. What do you think of Martina Navratilova? Personally, I think the dude is amazing. I mean the guy is in his 40's and he comes back to win a first round match in Wimbledon.

9. If you had to pick one, who would be your favorite actor from the movie Leprechaun - Back 2 Tha Hood? Warwick Davis as the Leprechaun or Sticky Fingaz as Cedric. Remember, you can only pick one.

10. How many scammers work out of the Internet Cafe you scam from?

Please don't be a dick and ignore my questions.

Thanks

Ebola Monkey Man

UPDATE 10/11/05

Ebola Monkey Note: This was submitted by a reader who was picking up where I left off with Mr. Pui. He mentioned the Jackie Treehorn character and Chueng flew off the handle. My question is how could he call me a selfish partner and what did he think I was up to? I just wanted a freaking Panda Bear! Is that so wrong? Enjoy the update.

Dear Brother,

How are you enjoying your weekend?

I am in receipt of your email and i thank you for your response.I think i should go straight to address the issue of the website the you sent to me.Mr Jackie Treehorn was a selfish partner whom i contacted to help me transfer this funds from my bank to an online bank with the same telextype with my bank situated in the UNITED KINGDOM.

This transaction has gone so deeply that we were almost in the stage of getting his account activated with this online bank.But Mr jackie treehorn refused to get his account activated but promised that he would get his account activated in some weeks latter.

On this ground i sent him the certificate of deposit to show the trust i had on him for his ability to handle this transaction with me.But i never knew that Mr Jackie Treehorn was up to something because he knew he wasnt going to be able to activate this account to be able to receive this funds after i effect the transfer.He latter came up with an idea that i should increase his percentage of the funds from 25 to 50% for himself which i refused to accept.

Mr Jackie Treehorn wasnt just matured enough to think instead he decided to paste all relevant informations including the ones from the bank.Not just that;but also went as far as reproducing this mails in mass.

I would strictly advice that you disregard such mails as they wount help us to realise our goal in getting this transfer done.

If you refer to one of my previous emails, I had told you what you are required to send before we commence this transaction. Well if I may remind you again, you are required to send a copy of your Driver's Licence or your International Passport,the most important issue is that I want to be sure I am transacting with the correct person, my curiousity can be justified considering the money in question, besides, it is this copy of your Driver's Licence or International Passport that will be be used by the Attorney have all the necesary documentations perfected..

At this point I must inform you that being part of this transaction would only be at your free will I cannot impose this on you, it is your choice to accept or disagree with the principles and of this business or even with the transaction as a whole,but at least I deserve the previledge of knowing your decision. If you really intend to execute this transaction with me it would be necessary to have these sent to me immediately via email attachment.

I want to know if you are willing to carry on with this business seriously, before I can take further action, it is imperative for you to reach me back immediately.

Sincerely,

Cheung Pui.

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