From the office of: DR. JOHN NDIAYE (jh_ndi@juno.com) to Dirk Diggler (DirkDiggy@hottmail.com) (Original email) Feb. 19

TO.PRESIDENT/CEO.

DEAR SIR,

REQUEST FOR CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

FIRST, I MUST SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION. I AM A HIGH PLACED OFFICIAL WORKING WITH THE MINISTRY , HERE IN BANJUL, GAMBIA, WEST AFRICA. MY DEPARTMENT (THE TREASURY DEPARTMENT) RUNS INTO SEVERAL THOUSAND MILLIONS OF DOLLARS MONTHLY.

MYSELF AND THREE OTHER COLLEAGUES IN THIS DEPARTMENT ARE CURRENTLY IN NEEED OF A SILENT FOREIGN PARTNER WHOSE BANK ACCOUNT WE CAN USE TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF TWELVE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND U.S. DOLLARS
(US$12,500,000.00). THIS FUND ACCRUED LEGITIMATELY (BUT DISCRETELY) TO US AS COMMISSION FROM FOREIGN CONTRACTS, THROUGH OUR PRIVATE CONNECTIONS. THE FUND IS PRESENTLY WAITING TO BE REMITTED BY OUR OFFSHORE FUNDS MANAGERS TO ANY FOREIGN BENEFICIARY SUBMITTED BY US TO THEM AS THE RECEIVER OF THE FUND. HOWEVER, BY VIRTUE OF OUR POSITIONS AS CIVIL SERVANTS IN OUR COUNTRY, WE CANNOT ACQUIRE THIS MONEY IN OUR
NAMES. BECAUSE AS HIGH PLACED CIVIL SERVANTS, WE ARE NOT ALLOWED BY THE CIVIL SERVICE CODE OF CONDUCT TO OWN OR OPERATE BANK ACCOUNTS OUTSIDE OF OUR SHORES. ON THE OTHER HAND, IT IS NOT SAFE FOR US TO KEEP THE
MONEY HERE DUE TO OUR UNSTABLE POLITICAL ENVIRONMENT.

I HAVE BEEN DELEGATED AS A MATTER OF TRUST BY MY COLLEAGUES, TO LOOK FOR AN OVERSEAS SILENT PARTNER IN WHOSE ACCOUNT WE WOULD TRANSFER THE US$12,500,000.00 FOR MUTUAL BENEFIT, HENCE THE REASON FOR THIS EMAIL.
WHAT I AM REQUESTING FROM YOU IS: (1) TO BE OUR SILENT PARTNER AND RECEIVE THE FUNDS IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN TRUST. (2) PROVIDE A BANK ACCOUNT UNDER YOUR CONTROL TO WHICH THE FUNDS WILL BE REMITTED. (3) RECEIVE THE FUNDS IN YOUR ACCOUNT, TAKE OUT YOUR COMMISSION AND KEEP THE REST OF THE MONEY UNTIL I ARRIVE THERE TO MEET YOU AFTER THE TRANSFER IS
COMPLETED.

OUR PROPOSAL IS THAT AFTER YOU RECEIVE THE FUNDS, IT WOULD BE SHARED AS FOLLOWS: (1) 20% TO YOU AS COMMISSION, WHILE THE REMAINING 80% BELONGS TO MYSELF AND THE TWO COLLEAGUES HERE. YOU WILL BE FREE TO TAKE OUT YOUR COMMISSION IMMEDIATELY AFTER THE FUNDS HIT YOUR ACCOUNT. SINCE OUR OBJECTIVE IS TO INVEST THE MONEY IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY, IT WOULD BE APPRECIATED IF YOU CAN ALSO HELP US TO INVEST OUR OWN MONEY INTO PROFITABLE VENTURES IN YOUR COUNTRY.

HOWEVER, THIS IS OPTIONAL, AND SHOULD IT NOT BE CONVENIENT FOR YOU TO FURTHER ASSIST US WITH INVESTING THE MONEY, WE CAN END OUR COOPERATION AFTER YOU HAND OVER TO US OUR PERCENTAGE OF THE MONEY.

THE TRANSACTION, ALTHOUGH DISCRETE, IS LGITIMATE AND THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITH ALL NECESSARY BACK-UP DOCUMENTS SHOWING LEGITIMATE SOURCE/ORIGIN OF FUND. THE TRANSFER WILL BE EFFECTED TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN SEVEN (7) WORKING DAYS AS SOON AS WE REACH AN AGREEMENT AND YOU FURNISH ME WITH A SUITABLE BANK ACCOUNT FOR RECEIVING THE MONEY.

I PLEAD WITH YOU ON ONE ISSUE, WHETHER YOU ARE INTERESTED OR NOT, KINDLY DO NOT EXPOSE THIS INFORMATION TO ANY ONE ELSE. I CONFIRM THAT THE TRANSACTION IS LEGITIMATE AND WITHOUT ANY RISKS EITHER TO OURSELVES OR YOURSELF. PLEASE, GIVE ME YOUR RESPONSE IMMEDIATELY BY RETURN MAIL, WHILE KEEPING EVERYTHING CONFIDENTIAL.

YOURS FAITHFULLY

DR. JOHN NDIAYE.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Feb. 19)

Dear John,

Was this letter intended for me?  I am Dirk Diggler, President of Felchaman Industries of New York.  You never used my name in your original email so I am not sure if this is a mistake.  Please let me know ASAP.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."              

1 Corinthians 13:7-8

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Feb. 20)

TO: DIRK DIGGLER.

FROM: JOHN NDIAYE.

THANKS FOR YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE TO MY PROPOSAL. IT WOULD BE A PLEASURE FOR MYSELF AND COLLEAGUES TO WORK WITH YOU ON THIS PROJECT TO SECURE AND INVEST THE FUNDS IN THE USA.

YOU ARE ASKING IF THE LETTER IS FOR YOU, YES THAT IS IF YOU CAN HELP US TO RECEIVE THE FUNDS AND IF YOU CAN AND KEEP IT FOR US ONCE IT GET TO YOU AND ONE THING WE NEED IS YOUR TRUST AND COMMITTED TO THIS BUSINESS AND HELPING US TO
INVEST IT.

BEFORE I GO FURTHER, I WISH TO ASSURE YOU THAT THE TRANSACTION IS TOTALLY SAFE, LEGITIMATE, AND WAS NOT DERIVED FROM ANY QUESTIONABLE OR ILLEGAL ACTIVITY. THE MONEY IS A LEGIMITATE (ALBEIT DISCRETE) ACCRUAL TO MYSELF AND TWO COLLEAGUES HERE IN MY COUNTRY AND WOULD BE TRANSFERRED THROUGH THE NORMAL LEGITIMATE BANKING CHANNEL. DUE TO THE UNSTABLE POLITICAL ENVIRONMENT IN AFRICA, WE WISH TO HAVE THE MONEY SECURED TO A MORE STABLE POLITICAL/ECONOMIC COUNTRY, LIKE THE U.S.A OR EUROPE, WHERE WE CAN INVEST THE MONEY AND HAVE THE CONFIDENCE THAT IT WOULD NOT BE LOST DUE TO SOME CIVIL WAR OR POLITICAL UPHEAVAL AS IS CONSTANT IN AFRICA. SURELY, I KNOW WE ARE TAKING A RISK BY DEALING WITH SOMEBODY UNKNOWN TO US, HOWEVER, IN OUR PRESENT SITUATION, FOR THE SAKE OF KEEPING THE TRANSACTION DISCRETE WHICH IS IMPORTANT FOR US, WE DO NOT HAVE ANY CHOICE THAN TO PUT OUR FATE IN THE HUMAN TRUST FOR EACH OTHER.

SOMETIME IN BUSINESS, YOU CANNOT HELP BUT TO PUT YOUR TRUST AND HOPE FOR POSITIVE OUTCOME. THE FUND WE ARE TRANSFERRING IS CURRENTLY DOMICILED IN A FOREIGN BANK ACCOUNT BELONGING TO OUR MINISTRY (A GOVERNMENT ACCOUNT UNDER THE CONTROL OF BANK OF GAMBIA), WAITING TO BE PAID OUT AS COMMISSION TO ANY THIRD PARTY CONFIRMED BY US AS THE ENEFICIARY.

AS SOON AS WE COMMENCE THE TRANSACTION WITH YOU, THE RELEVANT DOCUMENTS OF TITLE BY OUR GOVERNMENT SHOWING LEGITIMATE SOURCE AND ORIGIN OF THE FUNDS WILL BE OBTAINED IN YOUR NAME.OBTAINING THESE DOCUMENTS IN YOUR NAME IS PART OF THE TRANSFER PROCEDURES.

YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND WHAT WE REQUIRE FROM YOU IS TO PROVIDE US WITH A SUITABLE BANK ACCOUNT UNDER YOUR CONTROL INTO WHICH WE PROCESS THE TRANSFER.

THEREAFTER, YOU RECEIVE THE FUNDS, TAKE OUT YOUR COMMISSION OF 20% AND MAKE THE REST OF THE MONEY AVAILABLE TO ME WHEN I ARRIVE THERE TO MEET YOU AFTER THE TRANSFER HAS BEEN COMPLETED.

YOUR BENEFIT FOR ASSISTING US WITH THE TRANSFER WILL BE 20% COMMISSION OF THE TOTAL AMOUNT TRANSFERRED. AS SOON AS THE FUNDS ARRIVE IN YOUR ACCOUNT, YOU WILL BE FREE TO TAKE OUT THIS COMMISSION AND KEEP THE REST OF THE MONEY IN TRUST FOR
US, UNTIL I ARRIVE THERE TO MEET YOU AND MAKE DECISIONS ON HOW TO INVEST OUR OWN MONEY THERE IN AMERICA. IT WILL TAKE APPROXIMATELY A WEEK OR TWO TO GET EVERYTHING COMPLETED AND THE FUNDS WIRED TO YOUR ACCOUNT, FROM THE DATE I RECEIVE  DETAILS OF YOUR ACCOUNT TO BE USED FOR THE TRANSACTION.

TO ENABLE US COMMENCE THE TRANSFER PROCEDURES IMMEDIATELY, YOU SHOULD PROVIDE ME WITH DETAILS OF YOUR ACCOUNT TO BE USED FOR RECEIVING THE MONEY. THE ACCOUNT MUST BE ONE TOTALLY UNDER YOUR CONTROL. IT COULD BE A PRIVATE OR BUSINESS ACCOUNT. BEFORE WE COMMENCE THE TRANSACTION, WE SHALL SIGN A CONFIDENTIAL AGREEMENT, A WRITTEN SOMETHING FOR EACH PARTY TO HOLD ONTO PROTECTING YOURS AND OUR INTEREST. I WILL SEND THE AGREEMENT THROUGH EMAIL ATTACHMENT OR BY FAX FOR YOU TO SIGN AND RETURN TO ME.

PLEASE LET ME HAVE YOU PRIVATE TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE ME CALL YOU TO PUT VOICE TO OUR NAMES.

I LOOK FORWARD TO A REWARDING RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, BOUND BY FRIENDSHIP AND MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHERS INTEREST.

REGARDS.

DR.JOHN NDIAYE.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Feb. 19)

Absolutly John,

Trust is the key factor in any business transaction.  I did not get where I am today by being a crook.  You can tell someone is trustworthy by the way the tell you they are.  Anyway, I will be out of the country for the weekend.  I'm going to Cabo (Mexico) with my lover.  There is a great club down there called "Boogie Nights."  If you have ever been to Cabo, you know what I am talking about.  If you haven't, you must go there.

I will be back on Monday.  I will give you the information you need then.  In the meantime, know that I am on board 110%.  Oh, please just call me Dirk.

Thanks

Dirk

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Feb. 26)

hi Dirk,
how are you doing, I hope you had nice time over the weekend with your woman and i want to believe that you need to rest a bit before you get on to any business for now , well i just want to say that when you get back i will want to inform you that i will like you email me as soon as you arrive so i can forward an agreement for us to sign on this business for both of us for our records. well i wait to hear from you so we can get this transaction on the way plz as time in important , as i say before this is a life time opportunity for me and my family please so we are not going to play ith it so we need you co-operation on this matter please and trust please and if go by your word then i think i can trust you and so i am relying on you please to help.

please take good care of yourself o.k , till i hear from you and have talk with you on how we are going to invest this fund over there if there is any ideas from your end this will be appreciated very much.
thanks

regards
J.NDIAYE.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Feb. 27)

Dear J. NDIAYE,

How are you?  Good I hope.  I just got back from Cabo with my lover.  It was smashing for the first night, then all hell broke loose.  After the second  day, are hotel room was robbed by some thieving bastards.  They didn't get  much.  THANK GOD.  I managed to lose only $4000 in cash, my cell phone, our water bong, and our CD collection (mostly Indigo Girls, Madonna, Ricky Martin, and Barbera Streisand compilations).  Then, my lover, Pat, got sick after a felching contest.  Our luck is unbelievable.  Armageddon!

Anyway, why don't you forward me that agreement ASAP.  I would like to get to work on this transaction.  I have some ideas for investment that I can run by you.  I work with an investment fund called JT Marlin and Associates.   My broker is Seth Davis.  He is sharp as a blade.  He turned me on to Enron and Worldcom.  I love this guy's opinion.  IF IT DOESN'T MAKE DOLLARS, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

Let me know what's next.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Feb. 27)

hi Dirk,
i want to say wellcome back if not for the bad guys you would have had a nice time there but all the same is one of those things anyway ccept my sorry o.k. well i will like to have your phone/fax number so we can talk and then send you the agreement if you mind please, but i will like you please keep this to yourself for now till we finish with this transaction i dont want any body nosing around please i dont want anything that will disturb this transaction,for me and my colleague here is live time opportunity so please i will want this fund arrive safely into your account then we can talk when i come over to meet you o.k so please let play save. so please my partner i will want us to work together please get this fund over there then any other thing can follow please.would you please let me have your phone number please.thanks for your for being on top of this transaction iam happy you are veryserious about this most of all the trust and confindence you have assured me of this i really appreciate. well say hi to your girl for me i hope she is o.k please extend my greetings to her and your family.

thanks

regards,
J.NDIAYE.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Feb. 27)

Hi J. Ndiaye,

Thank you for the kind email.  Hopefully, God will bring those thieves to justice, and they will burn in hell for all eternity.  I truly think there is a special place in hell for people who steal.  People like you and I have worked so hard to make money and be successful in business.  What can you expect when you're on top? You know? It's like Napoleon. When he was the king, you know, people were just constantly trying to conquer him, you know, in the Roman Empire. So, it's history repeating itself all over again.  It is a shame we have to share the planet with this type of scum.  How do you feel about thieves?

Anyway, I will keep this transaction a secret.  I do not want to jeopardize anything.  There is way too much money at stake.  I would love to give you my phone number but as I mentioned, my phone was stolen in Cabo.  I had the phone company shut down the number.  I should have a new number by early next week.  Until then, just email me.  Also, I thought your fax joke was funny.  I think you would be hard pressed to find any American that still uses the “FAX” machine.  That is very 1980’s. Brought back a lot of memories.  With the invention of scanners and email, why waste the money on faxes.  Right?  Do they still use faxes in Banjul, Gambia, West Africa?  That was a joke, right?

I have attached a recent photo of me.  I figured you would want to know what I look like.  After all, we are doing business together.  Send a photo as soon as you can.  Let me know what to do next.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Ahh yes, the Red Headed Mullet.  Once thought to be extinct.  The red headed mullet travels in packs.  They can be found in places like Arkansas and Kentucky.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  OK, the sprinklers just went off in the office because Dirk is so flamming.  This dumb shit has no clue.  He keeps saying "she" and "her."  

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Feb. 27)

HI DIRK,

HOW ARE OU DOING MY DEAR FRIEND ,I HOPE FINE WELL THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL I HOPE YOUR LADY HIS DOING FINE TOO AND HOPEFULLY GET THROUGH THE WHOLE THING BY NOW. WELL I HAVE ATTACH HERE WITH THE CONFINDENTIALITY AGREEMENT FOR YOU TO LOOK AT AND THEN IF O.K PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO HAVE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS AS YOU RETURN IT SO WE CAN START THE LOCAL PROCEDURE HERE SO WE DONT WAIT MUCH TIME AGAIN AND THE DETAILS ARE THE ROUTINGAND ACCOUNT NUMBER AND NAME OF BANK AND ADRESS. THANNKS ONCE AGAIN MY FRIEND I WILL LIKE YOU TO GET THE PHONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE O.K THANKS.

DO HAVE LOVELY DAY .

REGARDS,
J.NDIAYE.

CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT FOR TRANSFER OF FUNDS FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSES

This contract covering the limited conditions enumerated below, is  made and entered into this day.................... of  May, 2002 by  and between MR  DIDI MARTIN.,  representing his colleagues of  Banjul, Gambia, hereinafter called  the Partners.

AND MR.GAO ZONGBING.., based in CHINA hereinafter called the Agent.

That the Partners desire to obtain the assistance of the Agent for the purpose of business development, investments and acquisition of real estates in   CHINA.  That  the Partners is authorized by the regulating authorities in Gambia to transfer, convey, disperse funds of Twelve Million Five Hunded Thousand US Dollars (US$12,500,000.00) in connection with the above mentioned purposes. And, therefore the parties agree as follows:

1) Grant of Power of Receivership:  The Partners hereby appoint the Agent as its agent  for consulting, and providing  appropriate financial facilities (Bank Account) for Partners and grant  Agent the Power of Receivership to act as its repesentative in all transactions necessary to fulfil the purpose of this Agreement.

2) Partners also grant  Agent full rights over these funds in that the Agent shall assist  the Partners in receiving this amount in his country once it has been successfully transferred from the remitting bank.

3) Responsibilities:

A)  As Agent for Partners, the Agent shall:
(i) Assist Partners with business development, acquisitions, and investment into  real estates by;

(ii) providing a list of investment opportunities and related information and obtaining competitive purchase offers;

(iii) assist Partners in the receipt of the funds intended to be used for these investments.

B) Partners shall :

(i) Provide Agent with sufficient description of proposed  investments intended and properties to be purchased.
(ii) Make the proposed funds (US$12,500,000.00) available to enable     Agent  to go into these investments.

(iii) Provide all necessary legal documentations for Agent to receive funds.

(iv) The Partners, in connection with any and all business dealings, protect, indemnify and hold the Agent  or his representatives and any and all assets, harmless from any and all claims, actions, causes, suits,   debts, controversies, judgements, arising from any and all parties having a valid or invalid claim of any kind whatsoever, whether from any person, official, jurisdictional person or entity of any type from Gambia with regard to this transaction.

4) Commission and Expenses:

(A) Commission amount for the responsibilities undertaken by Agent in pursuant to this Agreement, Partners shall pay a commission based on 20% of the
total funds received by Agent .

(B) Reimbursement of Expenses: 5% of the total funds received by Agent will  be available for settling any expenses incurred by Agent and his employees -   
such as settling taxes and all local and foreign expenses (telecommunication, fees, charges, rates, etc.).

5) Representations and Warranties:

(A) Of Agent to Partners :
(i) Once funds have been received by Agent and deposited into Agent's account, the Agent would have the sole authority over the agreed upon banking facility account.

(ii) Agent will do his best to conform to Partners' instructions in the prepa ration of any document(s) necessary to ensure that the disbursement of the funds is done in an efficient manner.

(iii) Agent will show genuine efforts to maintain Telephone, Fax or Email  communication with the Partners on a daily basis.

(B) Of Partners to Agent :
(i) The source of these funds to be utilized, derived, transferred, originating from  Gambia  or any other regions as authorized by the Partners,  will always be valid and legitimate funds for the purpose of conducting business opportunities.

(ii) This Agreement constitutes a legal, valid and binding obligation of the Partners enforceable against it in accordance with its terms.

6) Confidentiality :

Each party agrees that it and its officers, directors, partners, employees and agent   shall keep confidential with the same degree and care normally accorded to its own confidential information and shall not disclose to any person, firm, corporation, or government (except as expressly required by law), any technical or commercial infomation relating to the methods of doing business or terms of this Agreement.

7) Term :

(A) This Agreement shall expire at the earlier or either the completion of the services or after a period of one (1) calender year from date of this agreement.

(B) Termination of this Agreement by Partners prior to completion or subsequent to the effective date of this agreement, Agent shall be awarded 10% of the initial sum deposited in his account.

(C) Termination of this Agreement by Agent prior to completion or subsequent to the effective date of this agreement, it shall not affect any accrued liability of one party to the other.

8) Governing Law :

This Agreement shall be governed by and construed in accordance with the laws of CHINE. as an independent country, applicable to transactions made and to be wholly performed within such states.

9) Invalidity :

The invalidity or un-enforceability of any provision or provisions of this Agreement shall not affect the validity or enforceability of any other provisions of this agree ment, which shall remain in full force and effect.

In witness whereof, the parties have caused this Agreement to be executed by their duly authorized agent/representative on the date first written above.


MR... GAO ZONGBING
.........................................................

(AGENT)
Address:
.................................................................
...................................................................
................. .................................................
...................................................................

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Feb. 27)

Hi J. Ndiaye,

Am I supposed to just review the confidentiality agreement or am I supposed to sign it?  If I have to sign it, I will need my lawyer, Ron Jeremey of the "Jeremy, North, & Shapiro" law firm to review it.  Let me know.  Also, I was really hoping you would send me a photo as a way of saying thanks for the photo that I sent you.  Can you do that?

Thanks

Dirk

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Feb. 28)

HI DIRK,

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY I HOPE ALL IS DOING FINE ,WE AS REGARDS TO THE AGREEMENT I SENT YO YOU PLEASE ALL I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO LOOK AT IT THEN IF YOU NEED TO OR HAVE ANY THING TO ADD BUT I FEEL IS O.K BUT ALL THE SAME I FEEL YOU KNOW TOO
SO IF IS O.K I CAN NOW FORWARD OR YOU CAN MAKE NECCESARY CORRECTION AND SEND TO ME PLEASE FOR ME TO SIGN TOO AND RETURN TO YOU OR WHAT DO YOU SAY. WELL I WAIT TO SEE YOUR REPLY ON THIS PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU ARE THROUGH LET HAVE YOU BANK ACCOUNT TO BE USE TO RECEIVE THE MONEY PLEASE. PLEASE HAVE NICE DAY MY FRIEND AND PARTNER.

REGARDS,
J.NDIAYE.
AS REGARDS TO YOU PICTURE I THINK YOU ARE A VERY HANDSOME MAN I EVEN LIKE THE WAY YOU LOOK SO I DO APPRECIATE IT PLEASE I WILL FORWARD MY OWN BY LATER TODAY OR FIRST THING TOMMORROW MY TIME O.K.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Feb. 28)

Hi J. Ndiaye,

Looks fine to me.  Go ahead and do what you have to do to get the ball rolling.  Here is my account information:

Wells Fago Bank
Account #8675303-680U1
Routing #788969756

I will be out of touch for the weekend.  I will try to check my email but no promises.  I’m going camping in the mountains.  Boys weekend to get out in the wilderness and be crazy.  I look forward to receiving your photo.

Thanks

Dirk

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Mar. 5)

Dear  Dirk,

Thanks for your email last friday, sending the banking details for the transfer.  I also confirm your email yesterday.

I confirm we have commenced the transfer process on monday 3rd march.  All overseas funds transfers from my country are done through our central bank, Central Bank of The Gambia.   To transfer funds, an application for purchase/transfer of foreign currency is made to the Central Bank.  We have today submitted the application for funds transfers to the Central Bank, for approval.  Upon verification and approval of the transaction by the Central Bank, the bank sources the required foreign currency amount and authorizes transfer to beneficiary through one of her overseas payment agent banks in Europe.  Your banking information we submitted to the Central Bank for the transfer is as follows:

Wells Fargo Bank
Routing No. 788969756
Account No. 8675303-680U1
Account Name: Dirk Diggler

Please, confirm the above data is correct.

We are working towards having the funds into your account within one week from now, at the latest.

My  local telephone/fax number here in Gambia  (220 4 481 205)  is very difficult to reach from outside, due to poor telecommunication network here.
It is also not very secure for this confidentiality transaction.   You can reach me on my private satellite phone.  The number is :  Tel:  871 763 427 895,   To reach this number from USA, you dial as follows:  011 871 763 427 895.  My fax number is 011 871 763 427 896.

I expect to receive the signed copy of the agreement. I will sign and return same to you for your own record.

Talk to you later today.

Sincerely,

John.

.

Hi John,

Thanks for the email.  Sounds good.  I’m glad this transaction is moving forward.  The banking information I gave to you is correct.  I hope all is well.  I tried to call you yesterday but had no success.  I will try in a couple of days.  My phone situation is so screwed up right now.  I’m in the process of switching my phone company from Sprint to AT&T.  Those bastards at Sprint have screwed me one too many times and the cell phone fiasco was the cherry on the top.  The switch should take no longer than a week.  Best way to reach me is email.

I’m still awaiting your photo.  Please tell me a little about yourself.  Do you have a family?  What is your nationality?  I know you are in Africa but your name sounds Jewish.  What is Africa like?  All I know about Africa is what I see in the movies?  Do you own any animals like an elephant or a lion?  I hope to visit Africa one day and see for myself.   Feel free to ask me anything as well.  I think it is good for business partners to get to know each other.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Mar. 11)

HI DIRK ,

HOW ARE YOU DOING I HOPE FINE AND THE FAMILY, WELL HERE IS MY PICTURE FOR YOUR ATTENTION. TALK TO YOU LATER PLEASE.  SORRY I TO HAVE SEND IT LATE BUT MY SYSTEM IS A BIT SLOW.  DO HAVE NICE DAY.

REGARDS,

J.NDIAYE.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  F for effort.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 11)

Hi John,

All is well.  I hope the same for you.  Thank you for the photo.  You are a very handsome man.  You look like an adult Steve Urkel.  I’m sure you get that a lot.  Anyways, you never answered my questions from my last email.

I guess I can tell you a little about myself.  I was born Dirk Constance Diggler III in the small town of Barlow, OR.  I have two parents, George and Rita, a brother named Fred, and two sisters, Sarah and Lez.  I don’t speak to my parents and brother anymore due to their closed minds.  They have a problem with my lifestyle.  I have a great relationship with my sisters who are the most beautiful things in the world.  I have included their photos in this email.  Many people say Sarah looks like Britney Spears, only a little heavier.  She is working on the weight issue.  I told her it takes time.  Lez is like the carbon copy of me.  I think we think from the same brain.  She teaches Aerobics.  Anyways, I moved out to NY to become my own man.  They are a little bit more opened minded in New York City.  In 1986 I had a vision.  When I closed my eyes, I saw this thing, a sign, I saw this name in bright blue neon lights with a purple outline. And this name is so bright and so sharp that the sign -- it just blew up because the name is so powerful... It said, "Felchaman Industries."  That’s when I met my lover, Pat.  Pat gave me the drive to create my vision.  So I said, screw it, I’m going to make my vision come true.  That’s when I started my business.

Well, that’s the two minute version of me.  Enjoy the photos of my sisters.  Maybe one day you will get a chance to meet them.  Tell me about yourself.  Keep me posted on the transaction.

Thanks

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  I'm a SLAVE for you.

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Mar. 12)

Dear  Dirk,

Re: Confidentiality Cooperation for Transfer/Investment of funds US$12,500,000.

Good news!

Thanks for your last email.

I am happy to let you know we have completed the administrative protocols for the transfer. The approval required to commence the funds transfer has been given by the Central Bank of Gambia today.

It is confirmed the transfer will be handled by the central bank from their offshore banking facilities in Geneva, Switzerland.  According to information from our contact man at the central bank, every information for making the transfer to you has been forwarded to their overseas banking agency in Switzerland and they should be contacting you any moment now to commence the transfer process.

For your understanding, international wires are not done from West Africa here.
Our central banks have offshore banking facilities with first class banks in Europe where they keep funds for carrying out international wires.   I do not know yet the name of the offshore bank in Switzerland from where they will be effecting the transfer to you.  Matters concerning overseas transfers are always handled discretely by the central bank at this stage, in view of their funds transfer security regulations.

Following this development, we are hoping this matter will be completed and the funds wired to your account before friday this week.  Please, check and confirm everything is okay and ready at your side to receive the funds.  Be on the look-out for information from the overseas banking agency in Switzerland, and let me know as soon as you hear anything.  We are monitoring the events from here, also, and I will let you have any latest update.

Meanwhile, I have already started preparations for my trip to meet you, immediately after the transfer is confirmed into your account.  I will be booking my flight sometime next week.  Please, advise me name of the international airport nearest to you where I should be terminating my flight. For now, I am still going through the process of getting a travel permit issued by our authorities here, which permits me to travel as a top government official.  I will let you have all the details as soon as I confirm the travel permit.

I will call you after this email, to confirm everything is okay on your side to receive the transfer.  On the other hand, I could experience problem in reaching your phone, I would appreciate a call from you anytime today.  The number again is 011 871 763 427 895.

Thank you.

Sincerely,

John.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 12)

Dear John,

You are damn right that’s good news.  YOU ARE GOING TO BE RICH MY BROTHER.  I’m going to just be richer.  Anyway, the best airport for you to fly into is JFK, Newark, or La Guardia.  That is of course, if you want to come to New York.  I could give you a tour of the Felchaman Industries factory.  You can see where the plastic tubes for Gerbils are created.  That’s what my company does by the way.  We make tubes for Gerbils so they can crawl up places.  I could take you to my home on Fire Island.  It’s up to you.  If you would rather meet somewhere exotic, we can do that too.  The Florida Keys are nice around this year.  Do you like Pina Coladas?  In the Keys, snozberries taste like snozberries.  It’s absolutely fabulous.  Another area we might consider is San Francisco.  They are very opened minded there with lots of culture.  You would love it silly.  I have a friend there named Al.  He is a big and happy man.  We could stay with him.  Regardless, who really gives a shit?  We will have Puff Daddy money.  We can go wherever we want.  Keep me posted.

By the way, you never answer my questions.   What’s up with that?  Did you like the photos of my sisters?  They are single you know.  Keep that in mind.

Thanks

Dirk Diggy

From Kevin Martins to Dirk Diggler  (Mar. 14)

GAMBIA OVERSEAS BANKING AGENCY AUDI BANK REPRESENTATIVE(International Banking Service)
47, Rue Massot, Geneva 1211, Switzerland
Tel: + 41 792 661 636,  Fax: + 41 1 274 2937
Email: IBS-SWITZERLAND@financier.com

To:   Felchaman Inds., New York
Attn.:    Mr. Dirk Diggler
Email:  dirkdiggy@hotmail.com
Date:  March 14, 2003.

Sir,

Re:  Transfer of US$12,500,000 to Your Account:
Wells Fargo Bank,
Routing # 788969756, A/c # 8675303-680U1, A/c Name: Dirk Diggler :

Please, be advised that the amount of Twelve Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S.
Dollars (US$12,500,000.00) has been forwarded to us from the Central Bank of Gambia, to be processed and transferred to your account.  The transfer is being made in fulfilment of a Forex wire contract between the Central Bank and your business associates in Gambia.

We are here in Geneva as representatives of the Central Bank of Gambia to conclude the wire transfer from our correspondent bank, Audi Bank, to your account.

To enable us commence the transfer, you are required to meet us in Geneva to witness and endorse the Funds Transfer Authorization documents, in compliance with our foreign payment rules and regulations.  These documents can only be witnessed/endorsed by yourself, the beneficiary of the payment in the presence of ourselves and the bank representative.

We expect you will be able to arrive here within one week from now to enable us finalize the funds transfer to your account.  Please, let us know your travel plan in advance to ensure adequate arrangement is made to receive you. Alternatively, if you are unable to come yourself, you will be required to take up the services of a lawyer here in Geneva to represent you for this purpose, at your own cost.

You are advised to reach the under-signed in Geneva on telephone No.  41 792
661 636 for clarification and further information on this matter.

Yours faithfully,

KEVIN MARTINS
Payment Coordinator

PS. Kindly provide your tel/fax numbers.

From Dirk Diggler to Kevin Martins CC John Ndiaye (Mar. 14)

Dear Kevin,

Thank you for your email.  I will make arrangements for a flight to Switzerland today.   If you need to reach me, please contact me by email as I am in the process of getting my phone service transferred over from Sprint to AT & T.  Plus, due to confidentiality reasons, I feel much safer communicating electronically.  That way I always have written documentation.  Please give me the exact time and date of the meeting.  I assume it will be at the office address that was on your letterhead.

Thank you,

Dirk Diggy

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 20)

Hi John,

Just wanted to know if you had heard anything.  I haven't heard back from Kevin Martins yet.  Keep me posted.

Toodles

Dirk Diggler

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Mar. 21)

HI DIRK,

HOW ARE YOU DOING MY DEAR FRIEND, I HOPE FINE SORRY THAT I HAVE NOT REPLY TO
YOUR EMAIL IS DUE TO MY ILLNESS I WAS A BIT ILL SO I COULD NOT READ MY MAIL SO
PLEASE ONCE AGAIN ACCEPT MY APPOLOGY, I HOPE YOU ARE FINE AND THE FAMILY I HOPE
ALL ARE FINE TOO AND THE BUSINESS O.K TOOAND YOUR LADY FRIEND AND SISTER AND
ACTUALLY I LIKE YOUR SISTER WITH THE BLACK HAIR.

NOW DIRK THE FIRST MAIL I SAW WAS A LETTER YOU WROTE TO A MAN CALL KEVIN MARTINS
IS THIS GUY SUPPOSE TO BE THE MAN OF WIRING THE FUNDS OR THE OFFICIAL INCHARGE
OF THE PAYMENT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW BUT THE WAY IT THIS IT MEAN MY FRIEND YOU
HAVE BEEN CONTACTED BY THE OFFICIALS WHICH IS A GOOD NEW FOR US .WELL THAT MEAN
MY FRIEND WE SHOULD PLEASE WORK NOW TO MAKE THIS FUND GET TO OUR ACCOUNT , THAT
IS YOUR ACCOUNT .WELL AS FOR ME TO KNOW IF THE FUND ARE COMING I WILL BE RELYING ON YOU TO TELLME SINCE MY FRIEND YOU ARE THE BENEFICTIARY OF THE FUNDS NOW SO IS BASE EVERYTHING IS BETWEEN YOU AND THEM NOW AND IS THE IMFORMATION YOU GIVE TO ME IS WHAT I WILL WORK WITH OR LIVE WITH FOR NOW I CAN NOT DO ANY THING I HAVE DONE ALL I
NEED OF MAKING YOU THE BENEFICTIARY OF THE WITH THE NECCESARY DOC AND SUBMITT TO
CENTRAL BANK HERE AND MY FRIEND IS MONEY HERE BUT FOR THE IMPORTANT OF THIS
FUNDS TO US AND OUR FAMILY I HAVE TO SO AS TO GET THIS FUNDS OVER THERE O.K, AND
I AND THE WHO FAMILY HERE ARE COUNTING ON YOU, BUT I HAVE TOLD THEM THAT I CAN
RELY ON YOU AND I TRUST YOU TOO THAT IS WHY I AM NOT WORRY.


AS OF THE ARRANGMENT TO MEETING YOU I HAVE START TO MAKE THE PLANS TO COME OVER
I CANT WAIT TO MEET YOU MY FRIEND SO WE CAN POP UP A BOTTLE OF CHAPAINE AND WORK
ON MORE INVESTMENT DEALS,  SINCE YOU HAVE BEEN CONTACTED. I WANT TO SAY THE I AM
HAPPY THAT YOU ARE ON TOP OF THIS .I WANT TO SAY I REALLY APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. BUT S SOON AS YOU ARE TOLD OF THE WIRE PLEASE TELL ME PLEASE OK.  BUT I WANT YOU TO DO SOMETHING PLEASE ,AND IT GOT TO DO WITH  YOUR PHONE PLEASE I THINK IF THERE IS ANY TIME WE NEED IT IS NOW SO THIS PEOPLE CAN REACH YOU AS SOON AS THEY CAN PLEASE I  ASK YOU DO THIS PLEASE SO WE DONT HAVE ANY PROBLEM
WITH THIS GUY O.K.

PLEASE DO HAVE LOVELY WEEKEND ,TILL I HEAR FROM YOU I REMAIN YOU FRIEND AND
PARTNER.


REGARDS,
J.NDIAYE.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 24)

Dear John,

I’m glad you are feeling better.  I too have been a little under the weather.  I had a small case of Wynonaryder syndrome this weekend but I feel better.  I’m writing you from my cabin in the Poconos.  I like to get away from the big city every now and then.  Plus this war thing is making me crazy.  As a people, we are supposed to love our fellow man, not kill, and I definitely love men.  You can imagine how hard it is for me to see young, strapping boys shoot each other.  I wish I could invite all the American and Iraqi soldiers to my house for peace talks.  Oh well, I guy can dream.

My cabin is in the middle of Pennsylvania so I only have access to email through my palm pilot.  I’m just waiting to hear from Mr. Martins and then I will be flying to Amsterdam to finish the transaction.  He has me on standby.

If you are interested in my sister with the black hair, Lez, maybe I can arrange a date for you two when the transaction is complete.  I think you two would get a long really well.  Listen, I have to go.  I will be at my cabin for the rest of the week.  Keep me posted if you here anything.

Toodles,

Dirk Diggler

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 28)

Hi John,

I hope all is well.  Any news on the transaction?  I haven't heard a thing from anybody. It would be nice to get this thing going.  I'm thinking about investing my share into a nightclub called "Man Pipe."  It would be located in the Village section of NYC.  Just one of my ideas.  Talk to me, let me know your still out there.  I'm still in the Poconos so email me if you find anything out.

Thanks

Dirk

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (Mar. 28)

HI DIRK,

HOW ARE YOU DOING ,WELL I HOPE FINE AND YOUR FAMILY,YOUR LADY AND BUSINESS HOPE ALL ARE FINE .

WELL AS I TOLD YOU MY DEAR FRIEND I CAN NOT KNOW ANY THING EXCEPT YOU TELL ME SO,WELL I HAVE THIS GUY IN THE CENTRAL BANK HERE IN GAMBIA WHO WAS VERY HELPFUL IN MAKING US GET THE LAST AND THE MOST IMPORTANT DOCUMENT FOR THE RELEASE OF THIS
FUNDS BUT MY FRIEND I DONT WANT TO BE TOO MUCH WORRY TO HIM AND SINCE I Don’t WANT ANYBODY TO KNOW I HAVE BEEN VERY CAREFUL AND PEOPLE WHO ARE INCHARGE OF THIS TRANSFER ARE NOT ALLOW TO BE SINCE WITH OFFICIAL LIKE US HERE O.K ,CAREFUL
IS THE WATCH WORD AS I DONT WANT ANYTHING TO DISTURB THIS TRANSACTION .

BUT AS IT IS NOW I WILL SEE IF I CAN SEE THIS GUY SO MAYBE HE WILL HELP ME WITH SOME IMFORMATION BUT, APART FROM THIS THERE IS NO OTHER WAY OF GETING TO KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENNING AS REGARDS TO THIS TRANSFER .

BUT I WANT TO ASK PLEASE HOW LONG DOES IT  TAKE OR DOES IT TAKE THIS LONG TO GET A PHONE FOR I FEEL ONE OF THE REASON MY DEAR FRIEND WHY THIS IS BEING DELAY OR WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS WHAT I FEEL AND MY OPINION BUT SURELY A MAN OF YOUR
POSITION SHOULD GET THIS PHONE QUICK EVEN HERE IT DOES NOT TAKE THIS LONG BUT FOR SECURITY PURPOSE THAT I WHY GOT SATALLITE PHONE .

SO PLEASE MY FRIEND DO PLEASE GET THIS PHONE AS I WILL LIKE YOU TO SO WE CAN TALK AS THIS GO ON OR WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS .

WELL DO HAVE A NICE WEEKEND AND PLEASE COOPERATE WITH THIS OFFICIAL PLEASE SO WE CAN CONLUDE AND GET THIS FUND OVER THERE SO I CAN COME OVER TO MEET YOU AS I SAID I HAVE STARTED MAKING PLANS ALREADY TO COME.

THANKS
BEST REGARDS,
JOHN

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 31)

Dear John,

How are you?  I got your email.  I am writing you from a hospital in the Poconos.  You will not believe what happened to me.  I was wrestling with my lover and I put a move on Pat called the Flying Camel.  Unfortunately, he ducked and my momentum took me over his back and crashing to the floor.  I ruptured a disc in my back and broke my tailbone.  It was bad.  I mean really bad.  I couldn’t walk.  Luckily, Pat did not get hurt.  I have been lying in this hospital bed since Friday night.  I have to pee sitting down.  That’s how bad it is.  Don’t worry though, I told the doctor that I need to be able to fly to Geneva on a moments noticed.  If I take Vicodin with Perkaset, the pain goes away.  These are really good drugs and I think I will continue to use them after my back heals.  I just want you to know that this will not jeopardize the transaction.  The minute I hear from the bank, I will get on a plane.  Contact through this email address as the only phone they have in the hospital that is secure is the pay phone on the first floor and I can’t walk around for another couple of days.  I will email Mr. Martins at the bank and tell him to contact me at this email address as well.

Talk to you soon.

Dirk Diggler

PS – I showed my sister Lez your photo and she thinks you are very handsome.  She would like to meet you if you ever come to America.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (April. 2)

Dear Kevin Martins,

I hope all is well with the bank transaction.  I am still waiting for you to give me the go ahead on meeting you in Geneva.  I am currently in a hospital due to an accident I had last Friday.  It’s a long story so I won’t bore you with it.  I do not have access to a phone so please contact me by email if you are ready to finalize the transfer of funds.  The doctor thinks I will be able to fly within a couple of days so travel will not be a problem.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

From Dirk Diggler to Kevin Martins (April  4)

Hi John,

It's Dirk.  I'm worried about you.  Are you OK?  I'm doing good.  I'm up and walking and ready to rock N roll.  Call me at 877-572-6721.  Lets talk.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

From Johnson Jaware to Dirk Diggler (April 8)

Attn: DIRK DIGGLER

RE: GAMBIA OVERSEAS BANKING AGENCY AUDI BANK REPRESENTATIVE SWITZERLAND.

Do be informed that the government of the Sovereign State of Gambia have forthwith discontinued co-operation as regards payment with the above named institution due to some fraudulent actions prepetrated by the finance coordinator Mr. Kelvin Martins and the top management of the said banking institution.

In line with our intention to settle this outstanding debt owed you, we in association with the African Union (AU) and the new partnership for African Development (NEPAD) have concluded arrangements to have your money paid from Eco bank PLC., One of the bankers to NEPAD Fund.

Your file has been forwarded to the bank and you will be contacted by the bank for direct transfer of your funds into your nominated account.

You are by this letter hereby directed to stop all contact with the afore-described agency in Switzerland. And any contact made to this number 41-792661631 and their email addresses is being monitored by security agents.

All further contacts in regard to this letter should be directed to the above email address.

You are also advised to furnish us with your phone and fax numbers.

Yours in service,

JOHNSON JAWARE
(Presidency Gambia)

From Dirk Diggler to Johnson Jaware (April 9)

Dear Johnson Jaware,

Thank you for the email.  I was beginning to wonder what happened.  I hope Mr. Kelvin Martins will suffer the harsh consequences of performing fraudulent actions.  It just amazes me that people will go so low to cheat others.  They deserve a slow death, maybe by a firing squad or  a public fisting.

Anyway, email is the best way to contact me.  Or you can call me at 877-572-6721.  That is my cell.  If I don’t pick up, leave a message.  My associate and I are eager to complete this transaction.

Thanks

Dirk Diggler

From Johnson Jaware to Dirk Diggler (April 9)

Attn; Dirk,

Thank you for your reply to my email.
As soon as Eco Bank get in touch with you ,please do get in touch with me.  I will call you today.

My regards to you and your family.

Johnson.

From Dirk Diggler to Johnson Jaware (April 11)

Cool beans.

Dirk Diggy

From Razak Bello to Dirk Diggler (April 12)

ATTN:  Dirk Diggler
Dear Sir,

Be informed that we are still expecting your bank details and value for the transfer of your outstanding payment.

Please call the undersigned on his direct line + 234-1-776 5459.

Yours faithfully,
For: Ecobank Group

Razak Bello
Remittance Dept

NB; Kindly send your reply to the above address as WebMail is currently undergoing major upgrades.

From Dirk Diggler to Razak Bello (April 13)

Hi Razak Bello,

Thank you for the email.  Go ahead and do what you have to do to get the ball rolling.  Here is my account information:

Wells Fago Bank
Account #8675303-680U1
Routing #788969756

Let me know if there is any more information you need.  By the way, please call me Dirk.  Do you mind if I just call you Raz?  Razak is difficult to remember.

Thanks

Dirk

From Razak Bello to Dirk Diggler (April 15)

ATTN: DIRK DIGGLER
DEAR SIR,
RE: OUTSTANDING PAYMENT.

WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR BANK DETAILS AND WE ARE COMPILING THE NECESSARY DOCMENTS WITH OUR INTERNATIONAL BANKING DEPARTMENT FOR ONWARD TRANSMISSION TO OUR OFFSHORE PAYMENT BANK FOR YOUR PAYMENT.

PLEASE DO BE INFORMED THAT IN LINE WITH OUR STANDARD BANKING YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY THE SUM OF USD1,850 BEING THE PROCESSING FEES TO ENABLE US CONCLUDE WITH YOUR PAYMENT THIS WEEK.

YOU ARE TO CONTACT THE UNDERSIGNED IMMEDIATELY FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PROMPT CO-OPERATION,

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
FOR:ECO BANK GROUP

RAZAK BELLO
(REMMITTANCE DEPT)
TEL:234 1 776 5459

From Dirk Diggler to Razak Bello (April 15)

Dear Raz,

I got your email.  Please contact my associate about the fee.  He will take care of all the bank fees.  His information is listed below:

DR. JOHN NDIAYE.
Tel:  871 763 427 895
Fax:  871 763 427 896
Email:  jh_ndi@juno.com

This is exciting.  I can’t wait till the transaction is complete.  In the immortal words of ODB – “None of yall Nuuuus better look at me funny, you better give me my money.”  Talk to you soon.

Dirk Diggy

From John Ndiaye to Dirk Diggler (April 21)

DEAR DICK,

HOW IS LIFE WITH YOU AND THE FAMILY , I HOPE ALL ARE FINE AND YOUR SISTERS I HOPE THEY ARE FINE AND OFCOUSE YOUR LADY FRIEND.

WELL MY DEAR FRIEND I WAS SURPRISE ON GETING THIS EMAIL FROM YOU AS TO THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS TO YOUR ACCOUNT AND THE LATER YOU GOT FROM ONE JOHNSON JAWARE, MY DEAR FRIEND WHOM I HAVE TRUST ALL THIS WHILE IAM SURPRISE THAT YOU GAVE THIS PEOPLE YOUR CONTACT IMFORMATION WITHOUT GETTING INTOUCH WITH ME FIRST,IS ALL BECAUSE YOU DID NOT BELIEVE ME ON THIS ISSUE AND THAT IS VERY DISHEARTEN TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE I PUT A LOT OF TRUST IS NOT HAVING THE SAME LIKE MYSELF ,WELL ON READING YOUR MAIL AFTER I CAME BACK FROM MY JOURNEY I MADE SOME QUICK SEARCH AND WHAT I FINE OUT IS NOT WHAT THIS SO CALL PEOPLE ARE TO START WITH WE DONT HAVE ANY THING HERE LIKE THE PRESIDENCY HERE IN THE GAMBIA SO I DONT KNOW WERE THAT IS COMING FROM BUT I WAS MADE TO UNDERSATAND THAT THIS HAS AHPPEN TO SOME PEOPLE TOO WHO ARE ALSO TRANSFERING SOME MONEY OUT TOO ,THEY SAID THAT THIS PEOPLE COME ARROUND THE CENTRAL BANK AND THROUGH SOME INSIDERS THERE GET SOME IMFORMATION ABOUT LIST OF CLIENT TO BE PAID BY THE CENTRAL BANK WITH THIS THEY CONTACT AND TELL YOU TO STOP ALL TRANSACTION WITH OUR OFSHORE PAYMENT OFFICIAL .  THIS ALL I CAN SAY FOR NOW BUT WILL GIVE YOU MORE AS SOON AS GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS ,AND I WANT TO FEEL THAT THIS IS DONE WITH SOME PEOPLE HERE WHO THINK THAT THIS NONEY IS ALREADY IN YOUR ACCOUNT FOR HIS NOT SUPPOSE TO TAKE THIS LONG. WELL I WANT TO TELL YOU MY DEAR FRIEND ,I CONTACTED YOU FOR THIS AND NOW SOMEONE ELSE WHO DOES NOT KNOW ANYTHING IS NOW SPOILING THINGS SO IF YOU ARE NOT TOO LATE CAN YOU PLEASE EMAIL ME O.K AND TELL ME THE POSSITION FOR ALL I CAN TELL YOU DIRK IS THIS PEOPLE ARE NO GOOD IF YOU WANT TO LISTEN TO THEM IS LET TO YOU BUT IF I MAY ASK DO THE KNOW ME AND I HOPE YOU HAVE NOT GIVEN THEM YOUR ACCOUNT DETAILS AGAIN .  SO PLEASE I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU COULD EMAIL ME BACK SO WE CAN TALK FOR I HAVE TRY TO CONTACT YOU BUT I CAN GET THROUGH TO YOU AND YOU DID NOT EVEN MADE A MOVE TO CONTACT ME ON THIS ISSUE AND THIS A MAN I REALLY RELY ON , WELL MY DEAR FRIEND PLEASE CONTACT ME ASAP SO WE CAN SETTLE THIS O.K BUT WHATEVER YOU PLEASE BE CAREFULL O.K.  DO HAVE LOVELY WEEK AHEAD AND SAY HI TO YOUR EVERYONE AND YOUR SISTER THE ONE
WITH THE BLACK HAIR.

AND I WANT TO SAY HAPPY EASTER TO YOU .

YOURS

SINCERELY
J.NDIAYE.

DONT GIVE THEM ANY IFORMATION PLEASE FOR YOUR OWN SAKE O.K.

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (April 21)

Dear John,

It was good to hear from you my friend.  After I sent you a couple of emails with no response, I began to worry.  Than I got the email from a guy named Johnson and Razak, I just assumed they were affiliated with you.  Thanks for the warning.  I will send them a nasty email and copy you on it.  I can be a real queen BITCH if you know what I mean.  I never gave than any information except my bank account number.  Do you think I should close the account to be safe?  I wouldn’t want any thieves having that information.

Anyway, I will say hi to my sister for you.  You said you were on a journey in your email.  Where did you go?  Was it a magical journey where you discover a secret about yourself?  A soul-searching expedition?  If you want to talk about it, I’m here.

Keep me in the loop on the real transaction.

Dirk

PS – In your last email, you mention my “lady friend.”  Who are you talking about?

From Dirk Diggler to Johnson Jaware & Razak Bello CC to John Ndiaye  (April 21)

Attention: Johnson and Razak,

This is Dirk Diggler, the guy you have been trying to rip off.  It was recently brought to my attention by my good friend and trustworthy partner John Ndiaye that you two scoundrels are nothing more than petty thieves.  Listen boys, you messed with the wrong queen.  Shame on you!  I pray you get turked by a syphilitic ebola monkey on international TV so all the good people of the world can watch.  May your balls get eaten by a lion, shit out, and fed back to you with a spork.

Don’t even act obtuse about what you have attempted to do either.  You know what you tried to do and shall pay in hell.  If I or my trusted colleague John, ever see you in Africa, you better run as we will proceed to give you the beating of a lifetime.  That’s right, a lifetime!

Do you have anything to say for yourselves?

Dirk

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (April 21)

Hi John,

How are you?  I’m sure you read the email that I copied you on to Razak and Johnson.  As you can see, I play my enemies like a game of chess.  Now that we have sifted through the rift raft, what’s going on with the real transaction?  When will the transfer be complete?

Dirk

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  OK, this cock sucker thinks he's going to ignore me.  Let's see if I can get him to respond.  I'm going to kill off Dirk and see if baiting him with some money left over from Dirk's estate will get him talking again.

From Ron Jeremy to John Ndiaye  (April 29)

Dear Mr. N'Diaye,

My name is Ronald Jeremy and I am the family lawyer for Mr. Dirk Diggler of Felchaman Industries.  I regret to inform you that Mr. Diggler has passed away over the weekend in an accident.

The reason I am contacting you today is that we are trying to finalize his estate and we came across your name.  I noticed that your name coincided with section 5-A of his living will.

Mr. N'Diaye, what was your relationship with Mr. Diggler?  I am trying to find out because he has left specific instructions to help you.  Not one of the Digglers has ever heard of you.  Do you have a business relationship with Felchaman Industries?  It is important that I know the situation.

Please contact me as soon as you can.

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Jesus, another scammer gets Dirk's address.  These guys steal from eachother.  I guess there is no "code amongst thieves" in Nigeria.

From Jude Obinna to Dirk Diggler (April 29)

Dear Sir,

I am Engr. JUDE OBINNA, The Director of the Contractors Award and Review Department with the Nigerian national Petroleum Corporation (NNPC).I am contacting you on this business of transferring the sum of US$12,600,000.00(Twelve million, six hundred thousand Unites States Dollars only) into a safe foreign account and the need is very urgent.

I got your contact from the Nigerian Chambers of Commerce and it is withbusiness trust that made me to contact you on this matter. I write to solicit for the transfer of this money into your account.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Now I am going to play John and Jude against eachother.  This will be fun.

From Ron Jeremy to  Jude Obinna judeobi@hknetmail.com CC to John Ndiaye  (April 29)

Dear Jude Obinna,

Thank you for contacting Mr. Dirk Diggler.  Unfortunately, Dirk has recently passed away.  I knew he had some business dealings in Nigeria and he wanted to help.  I have tried to get a hold of your partner, assuming he is, John N’Diaye.  I have had no luck.  I assume Mr. N'Diaye had not made you aware of Dirk's passing.  I am happy you have emailed me as we are finalizing the allocation of Mr. Diggler’s funds.  It appears that Dirk really wanted to help you and has left a substantial amount of money behind for you to complete your business dealings.  Provided that you are a partner of Mr. N’Diaye, please email me where to contact you at and a living address.  I simply request that you give me a copy of your ID and any proof that you have been working with Mr. Diggler (ex.  old emails, contracts, copy of LLC license or statements from joint business accounts).

Thank you,

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

From John Ndiaye to Ron Jeremy  (May 14)

DEAR RONALD,

HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY , I HOPE YOU ALL ARE FINE AND THE BUSINESS I HOPE FINE TOO.

WELL I DONT HAVE MUCH TIME TO WRITE BUT I WILL WRITE YOU IN DETAILS SOON FOR NOW IAM TOO BUSY ON SOME OFFICIAL DUTIES AND THE REASON WHY I HAVE NOT RESPOND TO YOUR EMAILS IS THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN ARROUND PLEASE FORGIVE ME PLEASE I PLEASE
ACCEPT MY SYMPATHY ON THE DEAD OF MY VERY GOOD AND TRUST WORTHY FRIEND DICK DIGGLER, WELL I CAN BELEIVE IT YET IS JUST TOO SUDDEN FOR TO SWALLOW YET.

AND ANOTHER THING IS THAT THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OFF DISTURBANCE SINCE WE I MEAN ME AND MY GOOD FRIEND DICK STARTED THE BUSINESS HAVE HAVE TO DEAL WITH SO FOR ME TO TELL YOU OR TALK TO YOU I NEED PROVE TO BELIEVE YOU AND YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE
ME WITH DICK DEAD CERTIFCATE AND THE WILL WERE MY NAME IS SHOWN FOR I KNOW I TRUST DICK SO MUCH I KNOW WE ARE DOING SOME THING FOR TWO OF US ONLY SO I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU COME ABOUT MY EMAIL.

AND FOR THIS PEOPLE YOU ARE CALLING MY COLLEAGUE OR FRIEND PLEASE IF I MAY SAY SIR I DONT KNOW ANY ONE OF THEM PLEASE SO PLEASE IF YOU DO ANY BUSINESS WITH THIS PEOPLE U DO THAT AT YOUR OWN RISK THIS ALL I CAN SAY FOR NOW O.K.

PLEASE DO HAVE LOVELY DAY AND NICE WEEK AHEAD AND SAY ME WELL TO YOU HOUSE OLD .

PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOOUR PHONE NUMBER SO WE CAN TALK AFTER YOU PROVIDE ME WITH THE IMFORMATION I ASK FOR PLEASE FOR THE MAN YOU SAID IS DEAD IS JUST GOOD MAN AND I DONT THINK I CAN TRUST ANYONE LIKE THE WAY I TRUST HIM SO UNTILL
YOU PROVIDE ME WITH THIS IMFOR PLEASE DO HAVE NICE DAY.

REGARDS,
J.CAMARA.



From Jude Obinna to Dirk Diggler (May 14)

Dear Ronald,

Thanks for your mail,please call me on 234 80 3344 3235.

Regard.

Jude.




From Ron Jeremy to John Ndiaye  (May 16)

Hi John,

Thank you for your email.  I am a little confused.  Here are my questions to you:

1.  I am the attorney of the deceased Dirk (not Dick) Diggler. I think if you were business partners like you say, you would know your partner's name. Please explain.

2.  I'm a little confused.  You want me to provide you with a death certificate?  Sir, no offense, but we are dividing his estate and allocating his assets to the proper people.  Dirk has left a substantial amount of money to John N'Diaye with very vague instructions on a transaction.  I think you need to provide me with proof of your relationship with Mr. Diggler.  No one in the Diggler family has ever heard of you.  Please explain.

3.  You asked how I got your email.  It was left behind in Mr. Diggler's living will.  As I mentioned in #2, details were vague.

4.  In Mr. Diggler's living will, it states "John N'Diaye" was his business partner.  You signed your name "J.CAMARA."  Once again, please explain.

5.  Who is Jude Obinna and how does he fit into the transaction?  He is Dirk and John N'Diaye's silent partner in the transaction and the money left behind by Mr. Diggler is rightfully his.  He also says that you are a con artist and that you will not be able to provide evidence of your partnership.  Please explain.

When you can explain these 5 questions, I will attempt to call you.  Until then, I will not waste the phone call.

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

From Ron Jeremy to Jude Obinna  (May 16)

Dear Mr. Obinna,

I have had no luck getting through to your number.  I don't feel it is necessary to talk.  Please email me what your thoughts are.  According to John N'Diaye, you are in no way related to this transaction and should not be the beneficiary of the money Mr. Diggler has left behind.  Mr. N'Diaye says you are a scam artist.  I would like to give you the chance to explain yourself.

Thanks

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

From John Ndiaye to Ron Jeremy (May 21)

DEAR MR.RONALD,

THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL IN REPLY TO MY , WELL I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

WELL AS REGARDS TO YOUR QUESTION I WILL ANSWER THOSE, IN THE FIRST PLACE I SAID THAT I JUST CAME BACK AND SAW THAT TYPE OF NEWS THIS AFFECTED ME TOO AND YOU MOST KNOW THAT AS REGARDS TO MY FRIENDS NAME DIRK THAT IS WHAT IS CALLED ERROR IN TYPING SO PLEASE CAN YOU GIVE ME THE BEBEFIT OF DOUBT ON THAT GROUND.

AS FOR THE NAME CAMARA I FEEL THAT IS NOT A VERY IMPORTANT BUT IF YOU MOST KNOW MY DEAR FRIEND THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE MY FAMILY'S NAME SO WITH MY FRAME OF OF MIND HEARING OF THE DEATH OF DIRK I JUST WENT ON TO WRITE BUT MY FATHER'S NAME IS WHAT I AND DIRK  USE FOR THE BUSINESS, WHICH IS NDIAYE SO WITH ALL DUE RESPECT I WANT TO SAY PLEASE ACCEPT MY APPOLOGY ON THIS ISSUE.

ANOTHER OF YOUR QUESTION IS OF THE PERSONALITY CALLED JUDE OBINA, WELL LIKE I SAY IN MY FISRT EMAIL TO YOU PLEASE I DONT HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF THIS PERSON ALL I CAN SAY IS WHEN I AND THE LATE DIRK WERE CARRYING ON THIS TRANSACTION SO UNSCRUPULOUS  PERSONEL IN OUR COUNTRY TRY TO COUNT I AND DIRK OF THIS BUSINESS,BUT FOR A TIMELY INTERVENTION FROM SOME GOOD PEOPLE HERE WE ARE ABLE TO DO WITHOUT THIS PERSONEL WHO WANT TO REAP WERE THEY DID NOT SOW ,EVEN ON THIS ISSUE
I WROTE AN EMAIL TO DIRK WHO REPLY WROTE TO TELL THEM TO KEEP OFF .I WILL NOT WANT TO SAY MORE ALL I KNOW IS THAT THIS GUY MOST BE WORKING WITH THIS GUY'S I WILL FORWARD TO YOU THE EMAIL WRITEN TO THEM BY DIRK AS REGARD TO THIS TRANSACTION . MY PICTURE IS WITH DIRK SO IS HIS OWN PIC  TOO WITH ME AND THAT OF TWO SISTERS OF WHOM I HAVE INTEREST IN ON OF THEM.

AND WE HAVE SIGN AN CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT AS REGARDS TO THIS BUSINESS OF WHICH I HAVE FORWARD TO HIM AND WE HAVE AGREE THAT I WILL SIGN AS SOON AS I ARRIVE AFTER THIS TRANSCATION IS COMPLETE.  MY DEAR FRIEND I HAVE TRY TO TELL OR ANSWER YOUR QUESTION AND I KNOW THAT WE ARE HAVING THIS PROBLEM JUST FOR THE DEATH OF MY LATE FRIEND DIRK DIGGLER BUT ALL I WANT TO SAY IS WE HAVE GONE FAR WITH THIS BUSINESS BUT IF FOR NO REASON ONE SO CALLED PERSONELS WANT TO REAP US UP THEN IS BETTER I FORGET IT AND YOU CAN GIVE WHATEVER FUNDS TO THE CHARITY .

I WILL WAIT TO SPEAK WITH YOU AS SOON AS YOU GIVE TO ME YOUR PHONE .  PLEASE DO HAVE LOVELY DAY AND THANKS ONCE AGAIN FOR DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND MY REGARDS TO YOUR FAMILY AND DIGGLLER'S .

ON WHY I ASK FOR THE DEATH CERTIFICATE IS AS OF RECENT HAPPENING AND TO BE SURE SINCE I DONT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING AND ONE MORE THING IS I GOT THE LAST EMAIL FROM MY FRIEND ON FRIDAY PRECEEDING IS DEATH AS YOU SAY ALL THIS MADE ME TO ASK.

J.NDIAYE.

From Ron Jeremy to John Ndiaye  (May 22)

Dear John,

Thank you for the response.  We have been very busy here dividing Mr. Diggler’s estate and are anxious to complete his last wishes.  I feel you have done a good job of answering my questions.  I think it is very interesting that you are willing to give that much money to charity.  I’m not sure you are aware of the amount but most people aren’t willing to give that up.  You, like Mr. Diggler, most be very wealthy.  Dirk gave a lot of money to charity so now I understand why you two were friends.  If you still want me to give it to charity, I will.  Please let me know. If you choose to give that much money to charity, I commend you as you very honorable.  If you feel more inclined to take what was left for you, I have a few questions for you to answer:

1.      In order for me to sign over the money, which would be given to you in the form of a cashiers check, we both have to be present with you at a notary republic for both signatures to be witnessed.  Would you have a problem traveling to a neutral country?  If that is a problem, we might be able to get that done in Nigeria.  Let me know either way.

2.      Proper proof that your name is John N’Diaye.  Examples would be drivers license, passport, birth certificate, etc….  I would need two of them to appease the court.  I assume this wouldn’t be a problem, right?

Get back to me Mr. N’diaye.  I am really busy so drop me an email.  If you decide to give it to charity, I can suggest a couple.  Dirk’s favorite charity was the United Sisters of Camel Toe.  I could set it up so the check would be donated in both your names.

Thanks

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

From Jude Obinna to Dirk Diggler (May 26)

Dear Mr Ron Jeremy,

I have received your email and have also noted all you requested, but at this time I cannot provide any meaningful proof of my association with Mr Diggler, I can provide all the other informations you requested as regards my identification and a mailing address by which I can be reached, if this is ok for you kindly let me know.

I will normally presume that you will want to take over Mr Diggler estate, which is naturally none of my business but I will need to know who you are, so I will be most happy if you can submit to me the copy of your own identification and any other details that will enable me know that you know Mr Diggler very well, I would not want his funds to get into a wrong hands.

Best regards,

Jude Obinn

From Ron Jeremy to Jude Obinna  (May 26)

Dear Mr. Obinna,

Let me think about this.  You want me to give you identification and provide proof that I know Mr. Diggler.  Listen, you spelled your name wrong in the last email.  It’s Obinna, not Obinn.  You forgot the A.

I’m the attorney for the Diggler family.  No one in the Diggler family has ever heard of you.  Mr. John N’Diaye has never heard of you either and claims that you are a scam artist.  Here is his email if you want to talk to him about what he said.  jh_ndi@juno.com

As far as I am concerned, you and Mr. Diggler never had any business or personal relationship.

Have a good day sir.

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  I never heard from Jude again.

From Ron Jeremy to John Ndiaye  (June 1)

Dear John,

I hope all is well.  I take it by your silence that you probably just want to give the money to charity.  I will wait till June 8th to donate the money to a cause.  If I don't here from you by then, I will choose one of Mr. Digler's favorite charities.  You are a great man John Ndiaye.

Thank you.

Ron Jeremy, ESQ.
Jeremy, Adam, & North
213 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  He must be on to me.  Damn it John, at least give me a charity name!

From Ron Jeremy to John Ndiaye  (June 10)

Dear John,

Good news my friend.  I donated the money Mr. Diggler has left you to very honorable cause.  At first, I was going to donate the money to those little starving Africans on TV, you know, the Starvin Marvins.  But then I said "fuck it, they are better off dead."  If I did that, they probably would just grow up to be just like you.  A FUCKING LOSER IDIOT THAT IS TOO LAZY TO GET A JOB AND TRIES TO SCAM PEOPLE (badly I might add).  You stupid mugu.  Why are you so bad at scamming?   OGGGGA, OOOOOOGA , OGGGGGGGA, BOOOOOGA, OOOOOOGA, BOOOOOGA.  Do you understand me?!!!!!

Anyways, because you are so bad at scamming, I've invested the money in a conference that should help your dumb ass.  It will improve your writing.  Please go to the following link and review the brochure:
http://j-walk.com/blog/docs/conference.htm
What do you think?  This conference has helped many broke ass Africans.  If you sign up, you could be the talk of your tribe.  Plus, if you act fast, they will even throw in a brand new Colt (American made) Blow Dart Gun and a cute little Ebola Monkey as a free gift.  Just think of all those nasty ass African bitches with the saggy tits you will be getting.  No more small lip plate for you John.  Act fast because operators are standing by and laughing at you.

So let me know what you think?

Thanks

Ron Jeremy

The 3rd Annual  Nigerian
EMail Conference

"Write better  emails. Make more moneys."

"I am Mr. Laurent Mpeti Kabila, a senior assistant leader of the  Revolutionary United Front of Sierra Leone."

I present to you an urgent and confidential request: I  request your attendance at The 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference. This  is an excellent opportunity to meet your distinguished colleagues, learn new  marketing techniques, and spend your hard-earned money. Attending this  conference demands the highest trust, security and confidentiality between  us.

Dates: November 7 - 9, 2003
Location: Abuja Sheraton Hotel &  Casino
Registration Fee: $995 per person

Like most Nigerians, you're probably  finding that it's increasingly difficult to earn a decent living from email.  That's why you need to attend the 3rd Annual Nigerian EMail Conference.

"This conference is an investment in your future. Learn to take  advantage of modern technology, and make a great deal of money with very little  effort. If you have any question, please contact me and I will send you a  proposal that may be of interest to you. I await your response by return while  assuring you that the transaction is absolutely risk free."

- Dr. Collins Mbadiwe

As in the past,    this conference
has something for everyone.
You will hear    presentations by
some of the world's leading
Nigerian Email    businessmen
and businesswomen.

Preliminary* List of  Events

Following are just a few of the
many  events that are scheduled.

Breakfast Kickoff    Session:
Your choice: A hard boiled egg,    or two slices of white bread and a cricket.

Keynote Address:
Dr.    Hamza Kalu's adds some historical perspective in his keynote address: "From    Postal Scams To Email Scams: We Have Come a Long Way Infant Child."

Debate:
Attend     a lively debate between Lady Mariam Abacha and Mr. Godwin Oyathelem. Topic:    "The effectiveness of using all UPPERCASE characters."

Practical    Discussion:
Mallam Mahmud Abacah answers the question, "Are 10 million    emails a day too many?"

Competition:
Other    countries are now adapting our business. Is this a threat or an opportunity?   

Tech Session:
Mrs. M    Sese-Seko reveals valuable secrets in her session titled, "Those Pesky Email    Headers"

Commerce:
Find out how banking systems throughout the world    operate -- with special emphasis on money transfers.

Linguistics:
Damn, spam, scam, sham. And more rhymes in the "sticks    and stones" category.

Telecommunications:
Soliciting via cell phone text messaging: Can it    work?

Accounting:
The taxman he's a comin': Keeping good and accurate    records.

Open    Discussion:
We will resume last year's    high-spirited discussion of unionization, including health  benefits.

Workshop:
Grammatical errors: What's the optimal number?

Statistics:
Dr. Kayode Naiyeju presents his ground-breaking    research: "Analyzing response rates using analysis of variance: That pesky    R-squared value," as published in The Nigerian Journal of Applied    Statistics.

Economics:
A round  table discussion: Is email now Nigeria's top export?

For Newcomers:
View an entertaining PowerPoint presentation that describes how to get started in    this lucrative business, with no initial investment!

Hand-on    Session:
Experts critique your emails, and offer valuable tips.

* The actual schedule of  events and participants depends on various trial outcomes and extradition  hearings.

From Past Conferences...

Accommodations

"My business has  increased by 45%, and I am now experiencing an 89.4% ROI"
- Mariam Abacha

The Abuja Sheraton Hotel is an elegant 5-star hotel in the heart of the new capital of Nigeria. For more information, click        here. Only 575 rooms are available, so make sure you register early!

"It was a genuine  pleasure to meet other honorable business persons such as myself."
- Isa  Ahmed

Amenities* include a bar, a barber shop, running water  (hot AND cold),  free parking, and a free newspaper (except for weekends).

"The presentation on P.T. Barnum was especially helpful."
- Farouk Bakoh

Imagine yourself sitting in this modern conference room, surrounded by enterprising businessmen like yourself.

"The hotel was very, very upscale. The running water was a nice touch!
- Dr, Collins Mdadiwe

"I am pleased. I got  many new email addresses as a direct result of this most valuable conference."
- Aku Chukwu

Spouses are invited, although they may not attend the conference sessions. Spouses must spend the day in their hotel room watching TV (two channels are available, and one is not cartoons).

"Now I know how to respond when someone refers to my business as a scam."
- Franklin Dimmoh

* Restrooms are available in the hotel. Please use them.

"I AM FIRMLY CONVINCED THAT USING UPPERCASE LETTERS MAKES MY WRITING MORE EFFECTIVE."
- Mr. Ibrahim Ahmed

"The free daily  newspaper was very good to receive, but it is not come on Saturday."
- Mrs. Mabel Mamumbi (my kidney disease is getting better, but I am still a widow)

Register Now!

Registration is via a confidential money  transfer.

Send your bank's name, account number, your name, address,  telephone number, and fax numbers. Please note again that this transaction is  strictly confidential and as such should be kept secret. Be rest assured that  this transaction is 100% risk free.

Kindly send the requested information (in complete  confidence) to:

Nigerian EMail Conference
c/o Abuja Sheraton Hotel    Abuja
Ladi Kwali Way Abuja, NG PMB 143

Nigerian EMail  Association

©Copyright 2003
NoMojo Marketing  Corporation
"Using free trade zones since  1998."

WORK IN PROGRESS.  WILL ADD UPDATES SOON
IF HE ACTUALLY RESPONDS, I'll LET YOU KNOW

BACK TO HOMEPAGE

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  This last email was ambiguously gay.  Lets see if he notices.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Nope, not a fucking clue.

Signed..................................................

MR.  . DIDI MARTINS.............................................
Banjul, Gambia
West Africa.

.............................................................
Signed

From Dirk Diggler to John Ndiaye  (Mar. 6)

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Now that's a MULLET!  I think that is a Kentucky Waterfall if I'm not mistaking.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  OK, I'll play along.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Just about the time I was getting pissed at their lack of communication with me, I got another letter from a completely different scammer.  I figure I play along and copy John on every email.  I knew that he would respond.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Someone must have stolen Dirk's email address from the Martins account.  I love it.  They steal from eachother.  Crabs in a bucket.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Are you kidding me?  I have no clue who this fucking guy is.  Oh well, I'll just roll with it.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  See, I knew John wouldn't let me deal with any other scammers.  I'm John's victim.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:   How funny, he signs his name wrong and he wants me to show him proof that I know Dirk.  They are all so fucking stupid.  This is the type of shit that makes me think I should go over to Africa and become supreme ruler.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:   How did I know that both of them would respond in a New York minute once I said there is some left over money.  Anyone who feels sorry for Nigerian scammers needs to read this one.  This shows their true colors.  A man has just died and they will do anything to get their hands on his money.  This Jude guy has never even had an email from Dirk.  BOTTOM FEEDERS.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Once again, he has never even gotten an email from Dirk Diggler and he wants me to prove to him that I, Ron Jeremy,  am Dirk's lawyer.  He too has spelled his name wrong.  At least John forgot to use his scamming name.  This fucking idiot just-flat out spelled it wrong.  He's out of his fucking mind.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE:  Let's see if I can get him to ask how much money it exactly is.